Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Coca-Cola 600: False start

NASCAR can’t control the weather, but these fake-outs with the rain delay coverage have got to go. This Sunday’s Fox broadcast has hit a new low. I’d normally say that NASCAR should have blown off all the pre-race and gone directly to racing. But in this case, the track wasn’t ready from the start. They went through all the motions that they going racing even though there was no intention of doing so. Shots of the jet dryers still out working were apparently avoided from the beginning. It was only when all the ceremonies were finished and everything was ready for the command to start engines, that it was suddenly made clear that the cars weren’t even out on pit lane.

After some extended BS, another rain shower doused the track. At this point, there was no chance of any action. But there’s Fox, stringing everything along for another hour with replacement programming and updates, insisting they were close to starting the race. I’ve seen the “string along” before as well as the “start the race under caution” crap, but this was almost unconscionable. It’s obvious ratings have been really bad this year when they pull stunts like this in sheer desperation. If the coverage had started with images of the track being dried, every fan that’s had to endure a TV rain delay (and not writing a blog about it), would have tuned out immediately.

I’m going to have to stop ranting here, because I’m flat out of euphemisms and will soon have to resort to profanity. Okay, what can be done about this? One, NASCAR and their broadcast partners need to start being more honest. Two, if wet weather’s likely during the race and the track is still dry, start the race as soon as camera’s turned on and give the fans some racing. That’s it, but that’ll be enough. In the meantime, I’m not knowingly sitting through anymore rain delays like this if I have anything else to do. I recommend the same to everyone else. They’ll listen to the ratings.

I’ll go ahead and review the sham “pre-race.” Since some people have taken offense to me commenting on women’s looks in this NASCAR blog, I’ll only focus in men’s looks this time.

Jimmie Johnson looked terrible. That “beard” has been bad enough all season, now he’s got some horrible buzz cut on top of it. Unforgivably, Fox covered his haircut more than they did Jeff Gordon’s wife’s new hairdo.

Speaking of Jeff Gordon, he looked terrible. Nothing like listening to someone talk about their recent medical procedures and seeing the results. Jeff said it wasn’t painful to go through it, but he looked like he’d been run through the spin cycle with a sack of rocks. If Gordon decides to call it a career after four championships (as the broadcast crew was speculating), and stay at home and make more babies with his beautiful wife, who could blame him? He’ll be able to quit, secure in the knowledge that he has a ready successor for the role NASCAR’s most hated driver. That is, Kyle Busch.

Meanwhile, the sports’ most loved driver, Dale Earnhardt, Jr. (NASCAR’s version of Danica Patrick, but thankfully without the swimsuit shots), looked terrible. He looked like somebody had shot his dog right before his “pre-race” interview. I wonder if Junior’s urine would test positive for anti-depressants? I hope so, and I’m glad the race was called, because racing is dangerous enough without a suicidal driver out on track.

Tony Stewart looked much better without that scruff on his face. Maybe he was forsaking shaving until he won, which happened last week. But he’s still fat. The only good thing about the Car of Tomorrow is that there’s more window clearance so that he can still squeeze in and wasn’t have to be forced into early retirement.

And this is why I generally don’t comment on guys’ looks in my blog.

Jeremy Mayfield’s urine was again the “glossed over” topic of discussion. Until NASCAR or Mayfield’s lawyers release all of the pertinent information, it’s difficult to say how serious this all really is.

Lastly, there was another Digger cartoon, a rerun. I’m suspecting he’s on his way out. We can only hope.

J.

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