The Playoff Prediction
[I'm back. I haven't changed my mind, but I admit I'm a little shakier about my prediction now than I was two weeks ago.]
First, there’s no reason to pick the Wild Cards, since none of them are going to contend because of the new format. Thanks for playing. Make sure to pick up your Rice-a-Roni and other consolation prizes on your way out to the golf course.
I’ll pick the Nationals over the Reds in the National League, foolishly counting out the Dodgers and the Giants.
In the American League, the Angels will be eliminated on the last day of the season. Pujols and Hamilton will cry in each others’ arms in the dugout in a downright pathetic display of unmanliness. Trout will demand to be traded. Oh, and the Tigers will beat the Orioles in the ALCS.
The World Series between the Tigers and Nationals will start off badly, as Bud Selig will go out on the field before the first game and personally apologize for the matchup, because it doesn’t involve the Yankees or some other nationally popular team. Fox will preempt their coverage to put Firefly back on (and then cancel it again a week later), and will be rerunning NFL games from the weekend. But the games will be nationally broadcast.
SPOILERS
There on the ESPN Deportes Dos, in between some important Mexican soccer league matches, you’ll see the Tigers win in seven games with Verlander outdueling Strassburg. Both will go the distance in a 1 – 0 game. A confused Andres Cantor will sing out “Gooooool!” as Miguel Cabrera hits a walk-off championship-winning homer in the 9th. Those few people left in Detroit, delirious with joy in the midst of their abject destitution, will set fire to the city in celebration, just like in 1984. City officials will make no effort to stop the rioters and will actually praise this spontaneous act of urban renewal (saving them the money of having to tear down the city anyway). And that is how the season ends.
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