Daytona 500 2016

Jeff Gordon.  I could sum up in two words why I saw watching this race.  Jeff Gordon.  I probably would have watched anyway, but seeing one of my favorite drivers in the new role of broadcaster was the only real attraction for me.  I even stayed out the NASCAR picker at work this year.  Spending two minutes every Friday picking a driver had gotten to be more work than I was willing to put into it.   

The Daytona event started two weeks ago with the Sprint Unlimited.  The race was messy and didn’t matter.  I was just interested in hearing Jeff’s commentary.  (I was also at work at the time and wasn’t giving the race my full attention.)  I knew Jeff had spent quite a bit of time in front of the camera, off the racetrack, so I wasn’t surprised that he could speak well.  I also wasn’t surprised that he knew a lot about racing.  But you never know how these elements will come together.  In this case, it worked pretty well.  Jeff spoke racing with an easy, casual confidence, just what you want from your color analyst.  My only concern was his stamina.  Yes, it does take some fortitude to keep up your attention and enthusiasm when calling a sporting event.  Even with a short race, Jeff seemed a bit winded by the end, his concentration wavering and voice flagging.  The ladies at work, who are still involved in the picker, even liked his commentary, and they HATED him as a driver.  As one of them put it, “He kicked Michael Waltrip out of the booth and steps over DW’s jawing.” 

I didn’t see qualifying, where Jeff’s successor in the #24 car, Chase Elliot, was given the ceremonial pole award.  Ceremonial?  Go back the last couple of years and see who’s won it and ask yourself if it wasn’t rather fortuitous.  This was supposed to be Tony Stewart’s pole, but with his injury, they had to give it to next most deserving party.  Unlike the NFL’s game rigging, I don’t get worked up about this particular fix.  Whoever wins the pole is unlikely to win the race anyway (Trevor Bayne accepted). 

The next preliminary was Jeff’s Pre-Daytona party.  Fox has done this for the last couple of years.  Jeff had even hosted it before with Danica (I posted about it somewhere, which I can’t easily find).  I referred to the experience as “putting the word ‘awkward’ through its paces.”  This time, with his name on show’s title, Jeff seemed less uptight and scripted, and other times he seemed a lot less confident.  It’s a work in progress.  His co-host, lovely Holly McGrath, did much of the heavy lifting.  The best part of the show was Katie Nolan’s appearance, doing a comedy skit with Jeff.  I understand she has her own show on FS1, a network which is the Cable equivalent of a Flying Dutchman sighting.  

  

Confusingly, this event was also a launch party for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.  I shouldn’t complain about pretty girls, but swimsuit issue hasn’t done anything for me since Stacey Williams retired (and they never put her on the damn cover).

  

Well, actually they did do a pictorial with Alex Morgan.

But, she doesn’t even have to be in a swimsuit to look good.  (If I keep this up, I’ll be renaming the blog, “JDH417’s Alex Morgan Shrine.”)

Anyway back on topic, the pre-race started with a montage of great Daytona 500 moments.  There were at least two Wood Brothers clips in there, which is ironic since they didn’t receive one of NASCAR’s new coveted charters.  All I can say about the now 40 car field is that at least they got rid of the “Start and Parks.”  Jeff and the rest of the panel got off on a good foot, with me at least, by speaking to a recovering Tony Stewart over the phone.  It was a bit sad to hear him.  He could only lie down or stand, not sit up.  Then they suddenly cut him off without explanation.  Thankfully, Fox brought Tony back later to comment on the race and allow him a little dignity.   The panel was divided on whether Tony would be back to race at Daytona next season. 

Jeff (during the party) and DW (during the pre-race) both gave quick tours of the refurbishments at the racetrack this year.  The new stadium-like facility attracted a full house for the race.  Obviously the best part about being there was not having to put up with the TV commercials.  (On the other hand, what if all of the new video boards at the track are actually just there to show commercials?)  It looked like there was also a bigger gap between the stands and the catch fence now.  That’s definitely a good idea.  Can we get rid of the restrictor plates now?

Indy and Daytona’s signature races are a lot alike.  Same size track.  Same race length.  And you can sum them up in one word.  Indy is heartbreak.  Daytona is frustration.  Just ask the drivers.  I noticed Chase Elliot looked a bit uptight during the driver introductions, in spite of winning the pole and the Xfinity race the day before.  He ended up being the first accident.  Look for him to bounce back later in the season.  His new #24 Napa car looks good.  Junior’s #88 Nationwide car is the best looking ride he’s had since he’s been at Hendricks.  I may be looking for little die casts at the store. 

I should mention the dominate feature of the race, and any NASCAR race on TV: the commercials.  I liked Greg Biffle’s KFC ad for Nashville Hot chicken.  I had a co-worker who tried it.  He described the sauce as “red motor oil,” and that it, “came out both ends seven hours later.”  Fox hit a new low in commercial interruptions as Mike Joy actually said before a break, “Here’s a new Junior commercial.”  Promoting commercials.  It was just desserts when later in the race after said commercial, they came back to show Junior spinning through the infield.  Meanwhile, Phil Kessel puts it into a wide-open net to give the Penguins a 3 – 1 lead over the Sabers in the second period.  Like I was watching the commercials while NBC was showing two hockey games during the race.  On a more disturbing note, as I flipped past Azteca America, I noticed their soccer coverage was going “picture-in-picture” with a commercial.  The one thing I liked about soccer (other than Alex Morgan), continuous coverage, seems to be in jeopardy.        

Dad came by to watch the end of the race.  He wanted to see it and I was glad to have him over, though this meant I had to stop what I was doing: flipping between the race and the hockey, while listening to the Aggie baseball game on the radio.  While I walked next door to get a couple of 5 Guys burgers, I took my portable radio with me to keep up with the game.  I don’t really have many notes on the race itself.  I was distracted, and it didn’t do much to get my attention.  I wasn’t even really listening to Jeff, which was why I had tuned in.   In spite of a few wrecks, by halfway through the race, the entire field was still on track.  The promotions of the new stadium mentioned that they now had more comfortable seats throughout the grandstand.  For a good race, seats are seldom in use by the standing, cheering fans.  For this race, I couldn’t help but notice, they seemed to be mostly seated.  There was no Big One.  There wasn’t even much in the way of the three-wide racing that the Daytona 500 is famous for.  The multiple large crashes during the Unlimited weren’t a harbinger.    

By the end of the race, the cars did start going three-wide.  With the impending possibility of a major crash, Mike Joy spent what seemed like 15 minutes explaining NASCAR’s new “Overtime” rules.  I’ve had Schedule D of Form 1040 explained to me more clearly.  I turned to dad, “Did you get all of that?”  “Not a word,” he said.  This probably painful procedure was thankfully unnecessary.   Toyota dominated the front runners.  I had watched the Kyle Busch championship special on NBC Saturday.  With his championship, Joe Gibbs Racing and Toyota made it clear that they had just one reserved spot left in trophy case.  They wanted a Harley J. Earl trophy with a Daytona 500 win.  Clearly, the organization was focused.  Matt Kenseth lead going into the final lap.  By turn four, Denny Hamlin made his move on his teammate.  Kenseth made a remarkable save to keep his car out of the wall.  This left Hamlin and Martin Truex going for the checkered flag, battling side-by-side.  Denny would win it by a nose, the closest finish in 500 history.  The audience was relieved that this broadcast hadn’t been a complete waste of their time.   

 

What happened next was a complete disaster.  Julianna White was not in attendance in Victory Lane.  Whoever won didn’t matter.  (No offense to the other Sprint Cup girl.)  Look, Sprint is leaving as NASCAR’s title sponsor after this year.  I’ve only got a precious few opportunities left to see her.  Heck, her little advertising segment in the Sprint Unlimited was the highlight of the race (and she almost sold me a cell phone).  I doubt Alex Morgan is going to be new trophy girl next year.  Who knows, the next sponsor may want bare-chested firemen in the background.  At least Julianna didn’t have to wear that uncomfortable firesuit and likely slipped into something more casual to watch the end of the race.

Ahem.