Playoff baseball is about the winners, but I’m more
interested in talking about the losers this time.
I have to hand it to the Dodgers. I really thought they’d implode first before
being humiliated. I can’t believe they
made it as far as they did before taking it out on each other in an episode of
team fratricide. For a team made up of
big egos and big salaries, I was surprised that some of these guys, who are
better known for their bad attitude, actually played up to their potential for
so long. Hanley Ramirez, whom I’d
assumed would start their downfall, was actually the difference-maker. Had he not been injured so much, the Dodgers
might have run away with it.
Enough backhanded praise.
Let’s gaze into the crystal ball and see what the Dodgers have to look
forward to. This off-season, in spite of
having several large, immovable contracts, ownership will be committed to
doubling down on picking more overrated, headcase players. Look for Puig to have a Miley Cyrus-like
meltdown over the winter (suppressing horrific vision of Puig twerking in his
underwear in public), just to stay topical in the news. (You’ll know he’s serious about becoming a
star player, instead of a highly talented clown, when he starts hitting the
cut-off man and learns English.)
During Spring Training, the cracks in the weak foundation
will start to show. A team full of
overpaid egomaniacs will start to turn on each other right from the start as
crushing expectations will fall squarely upon them. Those who trained harder over the winter will
be in open discord with those who lived the good life instead. The team will still be media darlings, even
more so with the locker room controversy.
That’ll change with the Dodgers’ first prolonged losing
streak. Everything the ESPN and Fox
tools thought was so endearing about the team, all the bad sportsmanship and
excuses they spun for the players, will suddenly be called into question. In the clubhouse, the long knives will come
out between the overpaid slackers and the overpaid overachievers. Turmoil and scrutiny will now be the only
news that the Dodgers generate.
The team will struggle along long enough for someone else to
win the division. After their dismissal
in the Wild Card game, Don Mattingly will be seeking new employment. Unfortunately, they won’t be able to fire the
players so easily. And from there, it’s
straight into another disastrous off-season.
The Dodgers’ entire bench and injured reserve list will be staffed with
players making a minimum of $100 million with contracts of at least five
years. Don’t even ask about the actual
starters.
The Dodgers will become MLB’s version of the National
Debt. Their spending will be
unsustainable, but league can’t let them go bankrupt. The government will be forced to intervene as
the entire economy starts to swirl down a blue drain. The Dodger-care Act is drafted where every
American will be required to buy Dodger tickets.
Oh. Spoilers. Sorry.
Should have said that up front.
As much as I hate to admit it, I couldn’t help but notice
that some people at work, who don’t think anything of baseball, were watching
these Dodger games. Maybe it would have
been good for the game if they’d made it into the World Series. [JDH417 is suddenly pelted by a barrage of
rotten tomatoes from the readers and is forced to temporarily abandon the
keyboard.]
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