After knocking down city hall and going 40% over budget on
building the new ballpark there, the El Paso Triple A franchise has a name: the
Chihuahuas . You might have heard about this on ESPN or on
Deadspin. What a tremendous publicity stunt! Giving your new team the worst name possible
to get national attention.
Brilliant. I wonder how well the
players will play wearing sacks on their heads.
I can see the player interviews now, with their faces blurred out so
they can’t be identified.
There was a theoretically a competition to determine the
five finalists for the new name. The
other entries were the Buckaroo’s, the Aardvarks, the Sun Dogs, and the Desert
Gators. Yeah, nothing but winners in
that contest, but was it really necessary to pick the worst one? Supposedly, the Chihuahuas name won. The rumor is that the owner’s wife picked the
name and the whole contest was a sham.
Frankly, I don’t know which is worse.
Chihuahuas
winning the contest or the whole contest being phony.
Reaction has been unanimous, the name sucks. It’s even been called “racist.” If you identify yourself with a small Mexican
dog, I’d say you have self-esteem issues more than legitimate ones. I think we can hate the name without making
it a Hate Crime. We have been informed
that the adorable, little snarling dog merchandise is flying off the
shelves. No doubt to dog lovers of the
breed, not necessarily baseball fans.
Sunday night, on a local news issues show, the team name was the topic.
The team general manager, Brad Taylor, and Jim Paul, former owner of El Paso ’s old Double A
team, were spinning the controversy so hard, I was getting dizzy trying to
watch.
What’s left to screw up?
Naming the mascot. (I’m betting
“Pepe” or “Ren.”) Naming the stadium. (Chicos’ Tacos Field, I’m sure. The beloved local establishment has given
gross indigestion and violent bowel movements to El Pasoans for years. And so will the stadium. It’s natural fit.) And, not having the stadium ready for play
next season. (They’re already preparing
their excuses.) The anticipation is
unbearable.
When the Chihuahua name stops being funny
and becomes more identified with horrific civic fraud, the merchandise sales
will likely taper off, thus necessitating a name change to boost them. The informal consensus is that they should
have gone with the El Paso Desert Storm.
It fits with the desert and ties into El Paso ’s Fort Bliss Army post. The Padres parent club is the official team
of the Navy and Marines. (I’m not sure
if that’s really a formal relationship or not).
The Padres already have an alternate desert camouflage top and hat that
would look great as a regular uniform.
Put a snazzy logo on one sleeve and an American flag on the other. Shoot, I’d buy one of those jerseys.
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