Well, here we are at Martinsville, ready for a day of short track racing. We’re watching the pre-race. There’s Jeff Gordon. He’s getting friendly with some unidentified woman. Oh my God, that’s his wife Ingrid! SHE’S CHOPPED OFF HER HAIR!
Okay, okay. I’m back in control. I’ve just had too many shocks today. Jenson Button won this morning in F1’s season opener in Australia, and his teammate finished second. Not bad for a team that was put up for sale by Honda last year (1 win during their five or so year tenure) and not purchased until about three weeks ago. Their cars ran plain white, with no sponsors. I could not be happier for the Button. Ferrari is predictably protesting the win. I say 50/50 that it sticks, but it’s all good right now.
Back to NASCAR, I’ll give glancing mention to the Saturday Truck race. With the rain falling during the entire broadcast, the quickest vehicle I saw was a train going down the backstretch rail line. I’ve said before never/always watch rain delay NASCAR coverage. Any race coverage that starts with rain you can safely walk away from for at least two hours, if not entirely. Doesn’t matter if the drivers are in the cars, or driving pace laps or even caution/green laps. They’re not going to race any time soon. On the other hand, they usually have good conversations with the drivers while waiting out the weather. Unfortunately, Kyle Busch was the only driver there apparently worth talking to as far as Fox was concerned. At least he’s either matured a bit or gotten some TV interview etiquette lessons from Kurt, so it wasn’t terrible.
(Weather Caveat: I do remember a rainy Talledega Busch race from a few years ago. The think the broadcast went like five hours, but racing was tremendous in between showers and produced some of the best crash footage I’ve ever seen.)
Other than the bombshell of Ingrid’s radical new hairstyle, the pre-race went off well. In other words, no Digger. The guys seemed a lot more casual than last week, like the pressure was somehow off for hyping up the race.
Great interview with Rick Hendrick, if for no other reason than that involuntary grimace on the subject of Kyle Busch. I’m comfortable in saying the Mr. H doesn’t want him back, but I’m sure he didn’t want the kid to show him up so badly on the track after letting him go.
Good to see Dick Bergeron’s little revenge on Chris Myers. That was a long-time in coming. Also great to see that Marcos Ambrose spot. Interesting theory by Jeff Hammond, singling out that the loss of Darrien Grubb as the reason for Jr.’s lacking performance this year. I almost felt a bit sorry for Kyle Busch getting boo’ed in the driver introductions. He’s clearly hearing them.
It was a mostly bright, sunny day, with good TV pictures and a nearly full house. There was some dizzying race action on the little paper clip. Glad to see Jeff running up front. Boy, that is a great paint scheme. Yep, good-lookin’ car. I CAN’T BELIEVE INGRID CUT OFF ALL HER HAIR!
Ahem.
I noticed there were two different camera angles of Kenseth’s crew losing control of a tire on pit road. Perhaps Fox has learned its lesson after "Tiregate," where there was no video at Atlanta of a member of Menard’s crew supposedly rolling one of Marcos Ambrose’s tires away, causing a member of his crew to chase it into the infield.
The on-track battle for the lead was fierce. Denny Hamlin passed Jeff Gordon before halfway. Later in the race, Denny passed Jimmy, who had gotten out in front via a quick pit stop. Well, that was about it, until Jimmy knocked Denny out of the way to take the lead in the closing laps. Was Jimmy racing Denny dirty? (Say that line out loud.) Who cares? That move kept this race from becoming a rerun of nearly every other race this year; somebody gets out front and sails to a boring win. At least it livened things up. Classy comments from Denny afterwards. Oh, there’ll be some payback in the future anyway, count on that.
Jeff was not asked in the post race about his wife’s hair. I can’t believe this wasn’t the main story of the race. Fox totally fell down on this. They should have had constant updates on this Ingrid hair situation, at least as often as they did updates on Dale Jr.’s track position. Why not? She’s got about as much chance to win any given race as he does. I’m going to need time to get used to Ingrid’s new hairdo. To that end, I think they need to put her on camera a lot more.
Strange, that’s what I said last week.
J.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Bristol Cup Race: Where’s Digger!
I’m checking the back of my milk carton, but I only see pictures of Fox’s pit lane reporters. O’ Where fore art thou, Digger! Little Digger! Brave rodent, stalwart gopher, and a true NASCAR fan. Fox’s broadcast exists only for you. My Digger. Alas, my little Digger!
Well, maybe him and the reporters got capped because it was a quickie pre-race show. There wasn’t even a sit down interview with any of the drivers. On the other hand, I would have much rather had all that stuff than Chris Myers’ truly flat efforts at comedy today. The jokes weren’t bad, but the delivery was awful.
The Fox pre-race crew seemed extremely uptight. Especially if you compare them to Rusty, Brad, and Alan from yesterday’s Nationwide pre-race. Those guys were loose and having fun. Chris, Jeff, and DW were just nervous. I don’t think it was because Fox didn’t let DW participate in the Saturday Night Legends race. No, these guys were practically begging the drivers to start a fight. All the promo images showed drivers getting into it with each other. It was emphasized that the race was finally a sellout. Then there were lots of close up shots of the crowd.
To digress for a moment, NASCAR broadcasts never show the crowd. In baseball, they always show the crowd, pictures of nice-looking families having fun, kids in particular. (Fan cam is one of the better features of Fox’s baseball coverage.) In football, you always get shots of Darth Raider and dudes in 10 degree weather wearing only painted letters on their chests. In basketball, you can’t help but see the crowd. Hockey is probably the only sport with less coverage of the people in attendance.
In short, the Fox guys were trying to sell the sport, and desperately. They wanted something to happen during the race that would make newscast reels around the country. They went out of their way to show that NASCAR was popular and that people were coming out to the races. After four lack-luster races in a row, including a fan drought at Atlanta, NASCAR and Fox needed a good race.
Unfortunately, what they got was a different track with the same racing. How could cars get that strung out on a short track? You would think that it would be hard for the race leader to run away with the lead, given the size of the track and the traffic. When I saw it Saturday with Kevin Harvick, I thought it was an aberration. I accept that Kyle Busch is a great driver, but how could even he stretch it out like that at Bristol after a Green/White/Checkers restart?
I think it’s the COT. The car was designed to be generic, to produce close racing, and somewhat hard to drive, to make driver skill more important. A few drivers have adapted and thrived, but not enough to make the championship more interesting. The car’s inherent instability is also encouraging the drivers to give one another a wide berth in racing. A good COT race is the exception. A boat race is the norm.
Bristol is always somewhat overhyped. It’s strange that a race marred by frequent cautions and less than spectacular wrecks would be so popular. I think it’s really the spectacle of the track itself that draws the crowd. In person, the stadium must be awe inspiring, regardless of the quality of the racing. At times, it’s the modern Circus Maximus. I remember the end of a Busch Series race a couple of years ago, before the Green/White/Checker rule. They stayed green during two wrecks and then only stopped the race when a third wreck completely blocked the track. The crowd went nuts. I was at home and jumping up and down cheering.
The main goal for a TV crew covering the race is to make their audience want to be there. At Bristol, that isn’t hard. The stadium is very TV friendly given its small size and the height of the grandstands. Even Digger cam was useful today in showing the "marbles" that the commentators are always talking about. I have to give ABC/ESPN credit for a couple of their camera angles in the pre-race. They showed the view from the top of a pit box, and had a wide-angle shot of the whole track detailing where the best pit stalls were and why.
Quick hits: There were a few unenthusiastic Junior updates during the race. I think Fox is about to give up on him saving their half of the season. Props to Macros Ambrose getting a top ten finish in a wounded car. Interviewing the Aussie after the race would have been a good move. A bad move would be showing more freaking movie videos and other flashing ads at the top and bottom of the screen during the race. It was like watching a letterbox picture inside of a letterbox picture. Obnoxious to say the least.
My best idea to boost ratings would be to show more of Jeff Gordon’s wife, Ingrid. The racing may not be good every week, but I can guarantee she’ll be beautiful every week. Jeff, for everything you’ve got going for you, you just got lucky hooking up with her.
Geek moment: Logano’s Halo/Gamestop paint scheme in the Nationwide race. Cool, and it was good to see the old-style NASCAR car again.
J.
Well, maybe him and the reporters got capped because it was a quickie pre-race show. There wasn’t even a sit down interview with any of the drivers. On the other hand, I would have much rather had all that stuff than Chris Myers’ truly flat efforts at comedy today. The jokes weren’t bad, but the delivery was awful.
The Fox pre-race crew seemed extremely uptight. Especially if you compare them to Rusty, Brad, and Alan from yesterday’s Nationwide pre-race. Those guys were loose and having fun. Chris, Jeff, and DW were just nervous. I don’t think it was because Fox didn’t let DW participate in the Saturday Night Legends race. No, these guys were practically begging the drivers to start a fight. All the promo images showed drivers getting into it with each other. It was emphasized that the race was finally a sellout. Then there were lots of close up shots of the crowd.
To digress for a moment, NASCAR broadcasts never show the crowd. In baseball, they always show the crowd, pictures of nice-looking families having fun, kids in particular. (Fan cam is one of the better features of Fox’s baseball coverage.) In football, you always get shots of Darth Raider and dudes in 10 degree weather wearing only painted letters on their chests. In basketball, you can’t help but see the crowd. Hockey is probably the only sport with less coverage of the people in attendance.
In short, the Fox guys were trying to sell the sport, and desperately. They wanted something to happen during the race that would make newscast reels around the country. They went out of their way to show that NASCAR was popular and that people were coming out to the races. After four lack-luster races in a row, including a fan drought at Atlanta, NASCAR and Fox needed a good race.
Unfortunately, what they got was a different track with the same racing. How could cars get that strung out on a short track? You would think that it would be hard for the race leader to run away with the lead, given the size of the track and the traffic. When I saw it Saturday with Kevin Harvick, I thought it was an aberration. I accept that Kyle Busch is a great driver, but how could even he stretch it out like that at Bristol after a Green/White/Checkers restart?
I think it’s the COT. The car was designed to be generic, to produce close racing, and somewhat hard to drive, to make driver skill more important. A few drivers have adapted and thrived, but not enough to make the championship more interesting. The car’s inherent instability is also encouraging the drivers to give one another a wide berth in racing. A good COT race is the exception. A boat race is the norm.
Bristol is always somewhat overhyped. It’s strange that a race marred by frequent cautions and less than spectacular wrecks would be so popular. I think it’s really the spectacle of the track itself that draws the crowd. In person, the stadium must be awe inspiring, regardless of the quality of the racing. At times, it’s the modern Circus Maximus. I remember the end of a Busch Series race a couple of years ago, before the Green/White/Checker rule. They stayed green during two wrecks and then only stopped the race when a third wreck completely blocked the track. The crowd went nuts. I was at home and jumping up and down cheering.
The main goal for a TV crew covering the race is to make their audience want to be there. At Bristol, that isn’t hard. The stadium is very TV friendly given its small size and the height of the grandstands. Even Digger cam was useful today in showing the "marbles" that the commentators are always talking about. I have to give ABC/ESPN credit for a couple of their camera angles in the pre-race. They showed the view from the top of a pit box, and had a wide-angle shot of the whole track detailing where the best pit stalls were and why.
Quick hits: There were a few unenthusiastic Junior updates during the race. I think Fox is about to give up on him saving their half of the season. Props to Macros Ambrose getting a top ten finish in a wounded car. Interviewing the Aussie after the race would have been a good move. A bad move would be showing more freaking movie videos and other flashing ads at the top and bottom of the screen during the race. It was like watching a letterbox picture inside of a letterbox picture. Obnoxious to say the least.
My best idea to boost ratings would be to show more of Jeff Gordon’s wife, Ingrid. The racing may not be good every week, but I can guarantee she’ll be beautiful every week. Jeff, for everything you’ve got going for you, you just got lucky hooking up with her.
Geek moment: Logano’s Halo/Gamestop paint scheme in the Nationwide race. Cool, and it was good to see the old-style NASCAR car again.
J.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
BSG: Post Mortem
So I guess the lesson is: don’t create intelligent robots? Hard to get terribly worried about that. We have a hard enough time creating intelligent humans. Screw that anyway. I want an anime-inspired, robotic girlfriend. By the way, the robot “girl” from the end was real. I’d link to the story if I could remember where it was. A wee-bit out of my price range for now. Though a cost-analysis between amortized payments for a robot girlfriend compared with that of a real girlfriend may show that . . . Never mind.
It wasn’t Adama shouting out “Noooo!” at the end. Nor was it me. I was saying, “That’s it? Is it over? Is it?” Wingman, D-Mat was there with me and forced to endure the entire two hour and 10 minute ordeal, recording it, while I attended to important matters of state and national security. (God, I loved writing that sentence.) When we were together in the room, it was a steady stream of sarcasm. If you can’t enjoy something, make fun of it. During the last hour, I think we both threw out our necks watching the clock. That needed editing, not an extra 10 minutes. And you know the DVD version is going to be longer.
I will not completely condemn this episode. The only part D-Mat and I both shut up during was that 40 minutes of fanboy-pleasing, sci fi action. Thank you. That was one intense battle, though frankly some of the computer effects looked like they were done with actual models, but badly. The toasters have never looked right in animation. Still, the raptor squadron teleport straight out of the hanger was cool. And if Galactica was never going to open up with her nuclear weapon silos in the series, at least Racetrack got to out with a bang. Sorry, couldn’t resist that. (By the way, whatever happened to Showboat?)
The good times were over all too soon. Nothing smacks of greater originality on this show than a session of gunpoint negotiation. Metatextually speaking, Baltar’s speech was essentially there to explain the producers’ lack of explanation in plotting of the series. “We can’t explain our shoddy story logic. We hope you didn’t notice.” I could live with that, if it had been done better. Nice to see Gaius get a good moment there, anyway.
The opening scene of Adama sitting in an alley wearing his own drunken vomit, seemed like a perfect reflection of the ending of this episode, if not an accurate description of how it was actually written. Class all the way. I could totally see Lorne Greene doing that scene. Kids, don’t do drugs and try to plot a TV show. J. Michael Straczynski didn’t on Babylon 5 and look at how well that turned out. Hell, he lost his main character and virtually had to start the story over, and still made it work. On BSG, they were trying to connect the dots to a picture that wasn’t there.
Where to start? The character flashbacks would have worked, if this were Internet fanfiction, or if they had been doing more of this throughout the series, (like a certain other show does). The character arcs all played out, but did any of the show’s themes? I’m still confused by what this show was trying to say, so I guess not. The biggest failed recurring motif had to be the opera house. On that note, Bear McCreary is a great musican, if only for composing The Shape of Things to Come, but the continual reuse of that theme was only reminding me of times when the show was better.
The ending was rewritten during the writers’ strike. Makes you wonder what the original was. Perhaps some bizarre, psychoanalytical Evangelion-like ending? Something that would cause fan outrage and ensure TV immortality? Instead, we got this rather workman-like functional ending. I was expecting some kind of twist ending. I’m still waiting. By the way, Hera was obviously short for “red herring.” In other words, a distraction that only exists to motivate the characters to action, instead of accomplishing their real objective.
Why was there surprise that everyone in the fleet was okay with going native? The only ones making the decisions were the ones holding all the guns. Now this could actually be a parable for our times. Oh, and thank goodness Helo survived. The poor guy had been nothing but baggage since Season 1. He deserved a happy ending.
Starbuck jumping them to earth should have been the end. Those long good-byes lead to a bunch of clock watching. Some text narrative and still shots would have sufficed. Then go to the present day with that epilogue, if you have to, to make whatever your point was. Ron Moore showing up at the end made me think I was going to be right about my Evangelion ending prediction: that the characters were going to gather around and congratulate him. “I think they already did that during the Frakking Special,” said D-Mat.
Looking back at the series as a whole? I didn’t like the mini-series, except for Richard Gibbs’ spare soundtrack and the CGI. Season 1 was great, tight, well-written, and cool. The opening teaser segment for Kobold’s Last Gleaming Part 1 was the highlight of the whole series for me. After that, it just all went downhill, with maybe a couple of up ticks (The Captain’s Hand [not the abortion subplot] and Downloaded).
When they expanded the number of episodes per season, filler and long, unnecessarily drawn-out storylines consumed the show. Then there was the thinly disguised socio-political statements, that became progressively more cringingly blatant. The mythology, such as it was being created on the fly, destroyed the “reality” they had created for the show and turned the characters into ciphers for advancing the plot. Even Season 1 has been ruined for me in re-watching, knowing what’s in store for them.
Going back to Babylon 5 for a moment, what was that show’s lasting contribution to TV drama? Yeah, not much. What will this version of Battlestar Galactica’s be? That’s unknown for now. The new, upcoming Star Trek film doesn’t seem to take many cues from it. Let’s hope this BSG doesn’t do for sci fi what Watchmen did for superhero comic books. That is, essentially ruin them by making the underlying concept look ridiculous.
Frighteningly, this isn’t the end. The Plan is coming and is going to answer all your dangling questions about the show. Too bad the producers couldn’t pull off that feat during the actual run of the show. Then there’s Caprica. Different enough to not have to worry about direct comparisons. Likely, too different to get most of the current audience to care in the long run. We’ll see.
The best thing about the finale was that I finally got to break out my “Take care of the plants,” line as Adama flew past the agro-ship. Even D-Mat appreciated a little old-school sci fi love for Silent Running.
J.
It wasn’t Adama shouting out “Noooo!” at the end. Nor was it me. I was saying, “That’s it? Is it over? Is it?” Wingman, D-Mat was there with me and forced to endure the entire two hour and 10 minute ordeal, recording it, while I attended to important matters of state and national security. (God, I loved writing that sentence.) When we were together in the room, it was a steady stream of sarcasm. If you can’t enjoy something, make fun of it. During the last hour, I think we both threw out our necks watching the clock. That needed editing, not an extra 10 minutes. And you know the DVD version is going to be longer.
I will not completely condemn this episode. The only part D-Mat and I both shut up during was that 40 minutes of fanboy-pleasing, sci fi action. Thank you. That was one intense battle, though frankly some of the computer effects looked like they were done with actual models, but badly. The toasters have never looked right in animation. Still, the raptor squadron teleport straight out of the hanger was cool. And if Galactica was never going to open up with her nuclear weapon silos in the series, at least Racetrack got to out with a bang. Sorry, couldn’t resist that. (By the way, whatever happened to Showboat?)
The good times were over all too soon. Nothing smacks of greater originality on this show than a session of gunpoint negotiation. Metatextually speaking, Baltar’s speech was essentially there to explain the producers’ lack of explanation in plotting of the series. “We can’t explain our shoddy story logic. We hope you didn’t notice.” I could live with that, if it had been done better. Nice to see Gaius get a good moment there, anyway.
The opening scene of Adama sitting in an alley wearing his own drunken vomit, seemed like a perfect reflection of the ending of this episode, if not an accurate description of how it was actually written. Class all the way. I could totally see Lorne Greene doing that scene. Kids, don’t do drugs and try to plot a TV show. J. Michael Straczynski didn’t on Babylon 5 and look at how well that turned out. Hell, he lost his main character and virtually had to start the story over, and still made it work. On BSG, they were trying to connect the dots to a picture that wasn’t there.
Where to start? The character flashbacks would have worked, if this were Internet fanfiction, or if they had been doing more of this throughout the series, (like a certain other show does). The character arcs all played out, but did any of the show’s themes? I’m still confused by what this show was trying to say, so I guess not. The biggest failed recurring motif had to be the opera house. On that note, Bear McCreary is a great musican, if only for composing The Shape of Things to Come, but the continual reuse of that theme was only reminding me of times when the show was better.
The ending was rewritten during the writers’ strike. Makes you wonder what the original was. Perhaps some bizarre, psychoanalytical Evangelion-like ending? Something that would cause fan outrage and ensure TV immortality? Instead, we got this rather workman-like functional ending. I was expecting some kind of twist ending. I’m still waiting. By the way, Hera was obviously short for “red herring.” In other words, a distraction that only exists to motivate the characters to action, instead of accomplishing their real objective.
Why was there surprise that everyone in the fleet was okay with going native? The only ones making the decisions were the ones holding all the guns. Now this could actually be a parable for our times. Oh, and thank goodness Helo survived. The poor guy had been nothing but baggage since Season 1. He deserved a happy ending.
Starbuck jumping them to earth should have been the end. Those long good-byes lead to a bunch of clock watching. Some text narrative and still shots would have sufficed. Then go to the present day with that epilogue, if you have to, to make whatever your point was. Ron Moore showing up at the end made me think I was going to be right about my Evangelion ending prediction: that the characters were going to gather around and congratulate him. “I think they already did that during the Frakking Special,” said D-Mat.
Looking back at the series as a whole? I didn’t like the mini-series, except for Richard Gibbs’ spare soundtrack and the CGI. Season 1 was great, tight, well-written, and cool. The opening teaser segment for Kobold’s Last Gleaming Part 1 was the highlight of the whole series for me. After that, it just all went downhill, with maybe a couple of up ticks (The Captain’s Hand [not the abortion subplot] and Downloaded).
When they expanded the number of episodes per season, filler and long, unnecessarily drawn-out storylines consumed the show. Then there was the thinly disguised socio-political statements, that became progressively more cringingly blatant. The mythology, such as it was being created on the fly, destroyed the “reality” they had created for the show and turned the characters into ciphers for advancing the plot. Even Season 1 has been ruined for me in re-watching, knowing what’s in store for them.
Going back to Babylon 5 for a moment, what was that show’s lasting contribution to TV drama? Yeah, not much. What will this version of Battlestar Galactica’s be? That’s unknown for now. The new, upcoming Star Trek film doesn’t seem to take many cues from it. Let’s hope this BSG doesn’t do for sci fi what Watchmen did for superhero comic books. That is, essentially ruin them by making the underlying concept look ridiculous.
Frighteningly, this isn’t the end. The Plan is coming and is going to answer all your dangling questions about the show. Too bad the producers couldn’t pull off that feat during the actual run of the show. Then there’s Caprica. Different enough to not have to worry about direct comparisons. Likely, too different to get most of the current audience to care in the long run. We’ll see.
The best thing about the finale was that I finally got to break out my “Take care of the plants,” line as Adama flew past the agro-ship. Even D-Mat appreciated a little old-school sci fi love for Silent Running.
J.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
4e: The Elephant in the "Old School" Room
I have to start this with a couple of testimonials from gamers who love 4e. I don’t want to, but they’re the best illustration of what I don’t like about the game.
Perhaps you’re familiar with the (predominately) computer gamer comic strip Penny Arcade? (Disclaimer: I am a fan. Even though I could read all the strips online for free, I own four of their printed books.) If you want the biggest and weirdest success story in the history of the Web, it’s not Amazon. It’s Gabe and Tycho (yes, I know that’s not their real names) creating a zillion dollar empire from doing an online comic that’s incomprehensible to 99% of most normal people. (I seriously need the commentary track in the books to get some of the jokes.)
Given that Gabe has made fun of Tycho on more than one occasion over his pen and paper RPG hobby, one has to wonder how he became a 4e disciple. On another note, how low is RPG on the nerd totem pole that a hardcore video gamer and collectible card enthusiast can make fun of it? If we are to take various Penny Arcade strips as slices of their gaming life, then Gabe truly thought (pretty much accurately) that tabletop gamers were a bunch idiotic losers in the Nerdsphere. (Just a tick above LARPER’s.)
My premise isn’t that Gabe changed or the gamers changed when he got to know them. It was the game (4e) that was the difference. The cynic in me has to wonder if Gabe’s miraculous conversion had something to do with some cross promotion. WOTC did buy ad space on their site. I’ll accept it as genuine, since I myself, can attest to the lure of the rolling dice. Gabe had no interest in previous versions of D&D from hearing Tycho’s stories of adventuring. From there, he gives this testament:
"I think it was the new 4th edition rules combined with where I was in my tabletop journey that made D&D really appeal to me. The tabletop journey I mentioned is actually sort of interesting. I've been thinking about why I was sort of primed for D&D and if you trace it back through the news posts you can see that it starts with Pokemon of all things."
The story ends with:
"Anyway, playing these raid decks it turns out is a lot like playing D&D. You have one guy controlling all the monsters and you have a party of adventurers working together to beat them. It was very easy to make the transition between the two and I found the added freedom that D&D offered to be really exciting. I still love Pokemon and I'm excited about picking up Platinum next month."
I could have ended that quote a little sooner to make it less embarrassing, but I couldn’t resist. Let me sum this for you if you didn’t get it: collectible card games are a primer for 4e. You know, if Gabe had said that computer RPG’s were the genesis of his love for 4e, it wouldn’t have been anywhere near as hurtful. I can’t believe Tycho let him write that without making a rebuttal. He played the Old School stuff!
Anyway, it seems like WOTC hit their audience right on the mark. Card crack addicts, WOW organic input devices, and the lemming-like, whiners of the pen and paper RPG community, who are thrilled to have something new to bitch about/defend to the death (flip a coin, choose a side).
The strange case of Paul Tevis of the Have Games Will Travel podcast I find more disquieting. Here is a fellow, who literally never said the words, "Dungeons & Dragons" on the air, but as a pejorative, until 4e. Mr. Indy gamer, practically living at the Forge booth at Gen Con, and frequent interviewer of gamer reviewer extraordinaire, Kenneth Hite. That last point is important. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think Hite has ever jumped on that 4e bandwagon, other than having respect for the people in charge of creating it.
Tevis has absolutely bubbled with enthusiasm for a game that should theoretically be beneath his contempt. It "Scratches a different itch," is something close to what he said in a review. I guess it’s the miniatures wargaming itch, and I don’t think he’s not getting any kickbacks from WOTC that I can see. He did make an interesting comment. Tevis noticed that 4e players talked about the game experience, not the in-game experience. That is, not talking about the adventure the characters were having, but the fun the players were having making attack combos and such.
And that, is utterly antithetical to the RPG experience. At its best, tabletop RPG is a shared story that is meant to be retold. (Usually tales of astounding player stupidity resulting in their character’s death, but still.) At its worst, it’s a bunch of people sitting around a table rolling dice. Why not play Monopoly? It’s the same thing: roll dice, move tokens around a board, use some strategy. Less social stigma.
Okay, people are having fun with 4e, why be such a grump? Good question. 4e is essentially a fantasy-themed (collectible) miniatures wargame. On the other hand, Old School D&D stuff makes no allowances for role-playing in the rules either (perhaps even less than 4e). It’s not the players. There are plenty of old-time D&D players who like the game, along with the newbies. So, what’s the diff?
That’s the elephant in the Old School room, which nobody’s talking about.
Well, hate to leave it like this, but what a great place to ask for reader comments. Anyway, I plan on continuing this, and in another, upcoming gaming post, I shall sing the mellifluous praises of 4e. Really.
(And then gripe about it. Really.)
J.
Sources:
http://www.penny-arcade.com/2009/2/18/
http://www.havegameswilltravel.libsyn.com/index.php?post_id=380490
Perhaps you’re familiar with the (predominately) computer gamer comic strip Penny Arcade? (Disclaimer: I am a fan. Even though I could read all the strips online for free, I own four of their printed books.) If you want the biggest and weirdest success story in the history of the Web, it’s not Amazon. It’s Gabe and Tycho (yes, I know that’s not their real names) creating a zillion dollar empire from doing an online comic that’s incomprehensible to 99% of most normal people. (I seriously need the commentary track in the books to get some of the jokes.)
Given that Gabe has made fun of Tycho on more than one occasion over his pen and paper RPG hobby, one has to wonder how he became a 4e disciple. On another note, how low is RPG on the nerd totem pole that a hardcore video gamer and collectible card enthusiast can make fun of it? If we are to take various Penny Arcade strips as slices of their gaming life, then Gabe truly thought (pretty much accurately) that tabletop gamers were a bunch idiotic losers in the Nerdsphere. (Just a tick above LARPER’s.)
My premise isn’t that Gabe changed or the gamers changed when he got to know them. It was the game (4e) that was the difference. The cynic in me has to wonder if Gabe’s miraculous conversion had something to do with some cross promotion. WOTC did buy ad space on their site. I’ll accept it as genuine, since I myself, can attest to the lure of the rolling dice. Gabe had no interest in previous versions of D&D from hearing Tycho’s stories of adventuring. From there, he gives this testament:
"I think it was the new 4th edition rules combined with where I was in my tabletop journey that made D&D really appeal to me. The tabletop journey I mentioned is actually sort of interesting. I've been thinking about why I was sort of primed for D&D and if you trace it back through the news posts you can see that it starts with Pokemon of all things."
The story ends with:
"Anyway, playing these raid decks it turns out is a lot like playing D&D. You have one guy controlling all the monsters and you have a party of adventurers working together to beat them. It was very easy to make the transition between the two and I found the added freedom that D&D offered to be really exciting. I still love Pokemon and I'm excited about picking up Platinum next month."
I could have ended that quote a little sooner to make it less embarrassing, but I couldn’t resist. Let me sum this for you if you didn’t get it: collectible card games are a primer for 4e. You know, if Gabe had said that computer RPG’s were the genesis of his love for 4e, it wouldn’t have been anywhere near as hurtful. I can’t believe Tycho let him write that without making a rebuttal. He played the Old School stuff!
Anyway, it seems like WOTC hit their audience right on the mark. Card crack addicts, WOW organic input devices, and the lemming-like, whiners of the pen and paper RPG community, who are thrilled to have something new to bitch about/defend to the death (flip a coin, choose a side).
The strange case of Paul Tevis of the Have Games Will Travel podcast I find more disquieting. Here is a fellow, who literally never said the words, "Dungeons & Dragons" on the air, but as a pejorative, until 4e. Mr. Indy gamer, practically living at the Forge booth at Gen Con, and frequent interviewer of gamer reviewer extraordinaire, Kenneth Hite. That last point is important. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think Hite has ever jumped on that 4e bandwagon, other than having respect for the people in charge of creating it.
Tevis has absolutely bubbled with enthusiasm for a game that should theoretically be beneath his contempt. It "Scratches a different itch," is something close to what he said in a review. I guess it’s the miniatures wargaming itch, and I don’t think he’s not getting any kickbacks from WOTC that I can see. He did make an interesting comment. Tevis noticed that 4e players talked about the game experience, not the in-game experience. That is, not talking about the adventure the characters were having, but the fun the players were having making attack combos and such.
And that, is utterly antithetical to the RPG experience. At its best, tabletop RPG is a shared story that is meant to be retold. (Usually tales of astounding player stupidity resulting in their character’s death, but still.) At its worst, it’s a bunch of people sitting around a table rolling dice. Why not play Monopoly? It’s the same thing: roll dice, move tokens around a board, use some strategy. Less social stigma.
Okay, people are having fun with 4e, why be such a grump? Good question. 4e is essentially a fantasy-themed (collectible) miniatures wargame. On the other hand, Old School D&D stuff makes no allowances for role-playing in the rules either (perhaps even less than 4e). It’s not the players. There are plenty of old-time D&D players who like the game, along with the newbies. So, what’s the diff?
That’s the elephant in the Old School room, which nobody’s talking about.
Well, hate to leave it like this, but what a great place to ask for reader comments. Anyway, I plan on continuing this, and in another, upcoming gaming post, I shall sing the mellifluous praises of 4e. Really.
(And then gripe about it. Really.)
J.
Sources:
http://www.penny-arcade.com/2009/2/18/
http://www.havegameswilltravel.libsyn.com/index.php?post_id=380490
Saturday, March 14, 2009
BSG: The End is Here
How sad is it that I'm looking back at Hercules and Xena as the "good old days" of fantasy and science fiction on TV? Speaking of those shows, I guess I could talk about Legend of the Seeker, which is produced by the same people. It's a reasonably entertaining show. There's only been one egregiously bad episode. Unfortunately, it was their big, two-hour series premiere, wherein they apparently shot off most of their special effects budget. The incredibly cliched premise doesn't help. The actors deserve Emmys for getting out some of those lines in the first episode with a straight face. After that though, it's not bad. Tonight's episode was excellent.
Oh yeah, back to the new Battlestar Galactica. How sad is it that I'm going to comment on this episode without actually having watched it? Call it virtual reviewing. What's really hurting this show with me is that the old Battlestar Galactica is being rerun on the Retro Network. That show kicked ass! (Mostly.) Why didn't it run for four seasons? It's not fair! (Answer: Even by today's standards, the old show was very expensive to produce. ABC couldn't afford it.)
Okay, on with my pseudo-review. I think a comment on Aintitcool summed it up, "WTF is this! Am I watching the right show?" There were two highlights in this episode which was entitled, "Filler Episode." (Or should I say, "Yet Another Filler Episode." By the gods, have they been phoning it in this season.) In a flashback, a drunken Apollo fights a pigeon. I'm not sure if he wins. The other highlight was Baltar having a Ralphie moment, straight out of A Christmas Story. "Oh frakkkkkkkkk. Only I didn't say `Frak.'"
Predictions for The End next week. An Evangelion-like ending is starting to look all but assured. (I'm not going to try and summarize Neon Genesis Evangelion at this time.) It may at least be like the End of Evangelion movie, in that there'll be plenty of action around the scenes of incomprehensible psychological wanking. Let's hope there isn't an actual wanking scene like there was in Eva.
How does it all end? Adama looks up at the sky and shouts, "Noooooo!" as the camera begins a long, infinite pullback to the tune of the Head-Six (voices in the head) theme song. What leads up to that moment? I can't say.
J.
Oh yeah, back to the new Battlestar Galactica. How sad is it that I'm going to comment on this episode without actually having watched it? Call it virtual reviewing. What's really hurting this show with me is that the old Battlestar Galactica is being rerun on the Retro Network. That show kicked ass! (Mostly.) Why didn't it run for four seasons? It's not fair! (Answer: Even by today's standards, the old show was very expensive to produce. ABC couldn't afford it.)
Okay, on with my pseudo-review. I think a comment on Aintitcool summed it up, "WTF is this! Am I watching the right show?" There were two highlights in this episode which was entitled, "Filler Episode." (Or should I say, "Yet Another Filler Episode." By the gods, have they been phoning it in this season.) In a flashback, a drunken Apollo fights a pigeon. I'm not sure if he wins. The other highlight was Baltar having a Ralphie moment, straight out of A Christmas Story. "Oh frakkkkkkkkk. Only I didn't say `Frak.'"
Predictions for The End next week. An Evangelion-like ending is starting to look all but assured. (I'm not going to try and summarize Neon Genesis Evangelion at this time.) It may at least be like the End of Evangelion movie, in that there'll be plenty of action around the scenes of incomprehensible psychological wanking. Let's hope there isn't an actual wanking scene like there was in Eva.
How does it all end? Adama looks up at the sky and shouts, "Noooooo!" as the camera begins a long, infinite pullback to the tune of the Head-Six (voices in the head) theme song. What leads up to that moment? I can't say.
J.
NASCAR Cup Series Off Week: Junior Fans Choose Hail of Gunfire to Attending Races.
Dateline: Bristol, TN
With thousands dead, a new marketing promotion by NASCAR to increase race attendance has ended in disaster. This controversial program involved racetrack ticket agents along with various law enforcement officers attempting to force known race fans into purchasing tickets at gunpoint. It was hoped the program would bolster sagging ticket sales. Instead nearly all of such "sales calls" ended with an exchange on gunfire, resulting in the deaths of the "fan," the ticket agent, and even escorting police.
Investigation into these deadly incidents showed that the unwilling potential ticker buyer was inevitably a fan of Dale Earnhardt Jr. Earnhardt, the most popular driver in NASCAR, has unfortunately given his embittered fans little to cheer about over the last several years with his mediocre performance. Now, these hard-core NASCAR fans can hardly bear to watch on TV, much less in person.
"I’d rather die than watch Jr. lose again!" and so did Mr. Cletus Reddnecker, as the bullets pierced his body, as shown in shocking police footage of the incident. "It’s damn shame with these so-called fans," remarked police captain, Orville Wright. "What’s wrong with them," Wright shakes his head and waves at a pile of tapes, "They all died like this. All they had to do was support their driver by showing up."
"We badly misjudged our market," says NASCAR CEO, Brian France. Surviving fans in the market may have worse news. As a result of this failed marketing initiative, the Bristol area may no longer be able to support the race. France is apparently seriously looking at the F1 model of race scheduling, where popular, historic, well-attended races such Spa-Francochamps in Belgium and Circuit Gilles Villeneuve in Montreal, were replaced with well-paying (for F1 management) races in places like Shanghai and Bahrain. "We’ve gotten offers from Dubai and Seoul to move the whole freaking Bristol racetrack overseas. It’s a possibility," adds France.
In other news, NASCAR founder, "Big" Bill France is reportedly spinning in his grave.
J.
With thousands dead, a new marketing promotion by NASCAR to increase race attendance has ended in disaster. This controversial program involved racetrack ticket agents along with various law enforcement officers attempting to force known race fans into purchasing tickets at gunpoint. It was hoped the program would bolster sagging ticket sales. Instead nearly all of such "sales calls" ended with an exchange on gunfire, resulting in the deaths of the "fan," the ticket agent, and even escorting police.
Investigation into these deadly incidents showed that the unwilling potential ticker buyer was inevitably a fan of Dale Earnhardt Jr. Earnhardt, the most popular driver in NASCAR, has unfortunately given his embittered fans little to cheer about over the last several years with his mediocre performance. Now, these hard-core NASCAR fans can hardly bear to watch on TV, much less in person.
"I’d rather die than watch Jr. lose again!" and so did Mr. Cletus Reddnecker, as the bullets pierced his body, as shown in shocking police footage of the incident. "It’s damn shame with these so-called fans," remarked police captain, Orville Wright. "What’s wrong with them," Wright shakes his head and waves at a pile of tapes, "They all died like this. All they had to do was support their driver by showing up."
"We badly misjudged our market," says NASCAR CEO, Brian France. Surviving fans in the market may have worse news. As a result of this failed marketing initiative, the Bristol area may no longer be able to support the race. France is apparently seriously looking at the F1 model of race scheduling, where popular, historic, well-attended races such Spa-Francochamps in Belgium and Circuit Gilles Villeneuve in Montreal, were replaced with well-paying (for F1 management) races in places like Shanghai and Bahrain. "We’ve gotten offers from Dubai and Seoul to move the whole freaking Bristol racetrack overseas. It’s a possibility," adds France.
In other news, NASCAR founder, "Big" Bill France is reportedly spinning in his grave.
J.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
How would Robert E. Howard run a D&D game?
For starters, there would not be hordes of orcs. Any group of savages of questionable ancestry would do. Yeah, REH would use 4e’s minion rules. But his main villains would memorable and his monsters, show stopping.
No elves, dwarves, and certainly no halflings, unless these creatures were some abhorrent, degraded version of humans. They’re probably cannibals too, into dark magic, and worshipping elder gods.
There would be dungeons. This is where your characters will end up in chains before they escape. It will not be some Gygaxian maze. Conan would get bored with such as drivel as searching for secret doors and checking for traps every teen feet with a pole. A freaking pole! He would have even less tolerance for figuring out some puzzle involving chess or musical notes or some other nonsense. No, there’d just be a horror show of nightmarish creatures sitting on a pile of gold. Tomb raiding, monster lairs, sorcerer’s towers, and lost temples would be the marching order of the day.
I think REH would be fair DM, perhaps even rooting for the players somewhat. The characters’ enemies would always be loathsome or inhuman or both. Death would be a grisly event, though. And there would be dark, mysterious, evil things, which if your character disturbed in an unthinking manner, Howard would kill you on the spot without remorse.
Don’t worry about allied NPC’s stealing the characters’ spotlight. That would never happen.
Would he want to play? Certainly. A social game like this with like-minded fantasy fans, he’d love it. I have this vision of Gygax gladly offering his big DM’s chair in the sky to let Howard run a game.
One more thing, every female NPC your characters meet will be wearing an outfit leaving little to the imagination or just outright topless.
J.
No elves, dwarves, and certainly no halflings, unless these creatures were some abhorrent, degraded version of humans. They’re probably cannibals too, into dark magic, and worshipping elder gods.
There would be dungeons. This is where your characters will end up in chains before they escape. It will not be some Gygaxian maze. Conan would get bored with such as drivel as searching for secret doors and checking for traps every teen feet with a pole. A freaking pole! He would have even less tolerance for figuring out some puzzle involving chess or musical notes or some other nonsense. No, there’d just be a horror show of nightmarish creatures sitting on a pile of gold. Tomb raiding, monster lairs, sorcerer’s towers, and lost temples would be the marching order of the day.
I think REH would be fair DM, perhaps even rooting for the players somewhat. The characters’ enemies would always be loathsome or inhuman or both. Death would be a grisly event, though. And there would be dark, mysterious, evil things, which if your character disturbed in an unthinking manner, Howard would kill you on the spot without remorse.
Don’t worry about allied NPC’s stealing the characters’ spotlight. That would never happen.
Would he want to play? Certainly. A social game like this with like-minded fantasy fans, he’d love it. I have this vision of Gygax gladly offering his big DM’s chair in the sky to let Howard run a game.
One more thing, every female NPC your characters meet will be wearing an outfit leaving little to the imagination or just outright topless.
J.
How would JRR Tolkien run a D&D game?
Well first off, he wouldn’t. But for argument’s sake, let’s say his friend, C.S. Lewis, talks him into it. (Yes, the irony. The greatest modern Christian apologist sticking up for D&D, but I can I see that happening.) John Ronald Reuel reads over the rules quickly and finds them unnecessarily boorish in insignificant details. (Ahem.) He sees no reason to read over any of the published setting material or adventures, as he of course, already has something in mind.
There is a tense moment around the heavenly game table between Tolkien and Gygax, but Tolkien’s proper English manners and Gygax’s Midwestern upbringing come to the forefront, resulting in a mutual understanding. (C.S. Lewis is still there. He’s mediates between them and wants to get on with the game.)
Gygax reluctantly defers his DM’s chair and screen to Tolkien. He makes a snide aside to Dave Arneson, their own differences properly forgotten, as he makes a pulling motion, “Choo choo, here comes the railroad.” And indeed, it is a couple of days later (remember, it’s heaven, nobody has to stop for bathroom or snack breaks), before Tolkien finishes up the players’ introduction to his setting. He notices all of his players asleep, which is a bad sign, given that no one needs to sleep in heaven either.
Tolkien, immensely learned and intelligent fellow that he is, immediately declares a quick break and uses the time to read every D&D module and setting there ever was or will be. He finds them all terribly flawed and simplistic. He outright grimaces reading Dragonlance, and now understands what a “railroad” is. However, the charm of the readers/players actually being a part of the story and moving the plot forward by their own actions, rather than being passive observers, he finds irresistible.
Tolkien returns to the table. “Gentlemen, your characters are all political prisoners exiled to a penal colony across the ocean by a corrupt despot. Separated from friends, family, children, and spouses, you all burn for revenge. However, your prison ship comes to grief in a storm before reaching your destination. You and your compatriots are the only survivors, washed up upon a beach. You salvage a meager amount of gear from the wreck to outfit yourselves. You don’t know where in the world you are. Looking inland, you see a massive ancient city, seemingly deserted. Suddenly, you hear Orcish singing in the distance and coming closer. What do you do?”
Gygax smiles and readies his dice.
J.
(Note that this post has been modified from the original to reflect Dave Arneson's passing about a month after it was written.)
There is a tense moment around the heavenly game table between Tolkien and Gygax, but Tolkien’s proper English manners and Gygax’s Midwestern upbringing come to the forefront, resulting in a mutual understanding. (C.S. Lewis is still there. He’s mediates between them and wants to get on with the game.)
Gygax reluctantly defers his DM’s chair and screen to Tolkien. He makes a snide aside to Dave Arneson, their own differences properly forgotten, as he makes a pulling motion, “Choo choo, here comes the railroad.” And indeed, it is a couple of days later (remember, it’s heaven, nobody has to stop for bathroom or snack breaks), before Tolkien finishes up the players’ introduction to his setting. He notices all of his players asleep, which is a bad sign, given that no one needs to sleep in heaven either.
Tolkien, immensely learned and intelligent fellow that he is, immediately declares a quick break and uses the time to read every D&D module and setting there ever was or will be. He finds them all terribly flawed and simplistic. He outright grimaces reading Dragonlance, and now understands what a “railroad” is. However, the charm of the readers/players actually being a part of the story and moving the plot forward by their own actions, rather than being passive observers, he finds irresistible.
Tolkien returns to the table. “Gentlemen, your characters are all political prisoners exiled to a penal colony across the ocean by a corrupt despot. Separated from friends, family, children, and spouses, you all burn for revenge. However, your prison ship comes to grief in a storm before reaching your destination. You and your compatriots are the only survivors, washed up upon a beach. You salvage a meager amount of gear from the wreck to outfit yourselves. You don’t know where in the world you are. Looking inland, you see a massive ancient city, seemingly deserted. Suddenly, you hear Orcish singing in the distance and coming closer. What do you do?”
Gygax smiles and readies his dice.
J.
(Note that this post has been modified from the original to reflect Dave Arneson's passing about a month after it was written.)
How would Joseph Conrad run a D&D game?
Ah, this one I like. Conrad actually lived an African adventure before writing about it in Heart of Darkness. Of course, his “adventure” was one dominated by discomfort and illness (physical and mental). His fictional story had a lot more action, even though it’s known for being a psychological tale.
Heart of Darkness was filled with evocative, detailed settings, and filled with vivid inhabitants. This is definitely the hallmark of a good DM. I think he would relish the opportunity to take a group of players on an adventure, especially from the comfort of a living room.
I’ve been working on my own adaptation of Heart of Darkness as a D&D adventure, probably along the lines of a Paizonian Adventure Path. I’ve thrown in some Apocalypse Now, the Vietnam War version of the story. Just for fun, I’ve planned for the character party to be fighting supernatural creatures inspired by the anime classic, Ninja Scroll. Somehow this combination seems appropriate to me. Of course, I’ve added my own original weirdness. That was unavoidable. I hope it will be in fashion Conrad would have done it.
J.
Heart of Darkness was filled with evocative, detailed settings, and filled with vivid inhabitants. This is definitely the hallmark of a good DM. I think he would relish the opportunity to take a group of players on an adventure, especially from the comfort of a living room.
I’ve been working on my own adaptation of Heart of Darkness as a D&D adventure, probably along the lines of a Paizonian Adventure Path. I’ve thrown in some Apocalypse Now, the Vietnam War version of the story. Just for fun, I’ve planned for the character party to be fighting supernatural creatures inspired by the anime classic, Ninja Scroll. Somehow this combination seems appropriate to me. Of course, I’ve added my own original weirdness. That was unavoidable. I hope it will be in fashion Conrad would have done it.
J.
How would HP Lovecraft run a D&D game?
“Well, fellows that was certainly over quickly. Say, why don’t we try another type of game? I’ve got a Ouija board right here.”
Okay, I haven’t read enough Lovecraft to fake this. I suspect a game run by Lovecraft would not end well for the characters or the players.
“SAN check? Don’t bother rolling. It’s too late for that now. For all of you.”
J.
Okay, I haven’t read enough Lovecraft to fake this. I suspect a game run by Lovecraft would not end well for the characters or the players.
“SAN check? Don’t bother rolling. It’s too late for that now. For all of you.”
J.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Atlanta Cup Race: Ass Backwards
I had this post written out in my head well before the race actually finished.
"Kurt Busch lead most of it. Jeff Gordon got ahead of him for a while, then Kurt passed him and won. The end."
Big mistake on my part. The drama of the closing laps actually made up for lack thereof preceding it, even with the same end result. Kurt not only deserved to win by dominating most of the race, he earned it by passing Carl Edwards in Overdrive and fending off Jeff Gordon to the checkers. Tire strategies, past track history, and desire to win were all in Busch’s rear view mirror by the finish. And then he grabs the flag and puts the car in reverse for a backwards "Polish Victory Lap." How could you keep a straight face watching that? Good show.
My alternate title for this post was going to be: "Chicken, Bacon, Ranch." Thank you Dominos for your nigh genius decision to put this combination on a pizza. It was a little pricey, but they kill entire chicken for the toppings. Swear. You will not be cheated in ordering this delicacy. Next up on the menu, Dominos’ BBQ Chicken pizza. Mmmm.
My second alternate title was going to be: "Dueling Gophers." The premise of this cartoon, NASCAR vs. F1, was dead on, along with the song. Maybe I should give up blogging the race and focus on the food and "Little Digger."
"Boat race," "checking out," "F1-style," "cruise control," I admit my failure as a writer. I can’t keep coming up with new metaphors to describe the lack of excitement of watching somebody get out front and drive away from the field. Is this going to be a problem at every race this year? Here come the short tracks on the schedule, and our last hope for lengthy, on-track battles for the lead.
This race, the NASCAR competition director decided that Yates engines would be the ones experiencing failures. I think Ganassi/DEI is next up, but this process is determined randomly just to be fair.
Ever notice how Mike, Larry, and Daryl call the pit stops with the pit crews changing tires on the car, but never filling up with them up with gas? It’s always "Sunoco Race Fuel." If I were Goodyear, I’d be pissed. If I were a fan, which I am, I’d find this behavior obnoxious enough as is.
I made this comment a couple of years ago in a baseball post and feel compelled to mention it again. I’m sick of all of the malfunctioning d*ck commercials shown during the broadcast. I watch sports to take my mind off my thing for a few blessed hours. Give me some peace already.
Credit where credit is belatedly due. This year Fox has been getting back to the race BEFORE the restart, instead of joining it in progress coming back from commercial. This has been a big gripe of mine. I should noticed and said something earlier. Then again, this never should have been an issue. We’ll see if this trend continues at caution-heavy Bristol in two weeks. ("Plenty of good seats still available." Who could have ever imagined somebody saying that about NASCAR’s most popular track?)
How could I possibly comment on a NASCAR race without mentioning Jr.’s performance? God knows, he just doesn’t get anywhere near enough attention during the race. Is once every 15 minutes for a guy running at the back of the lead lap all day truly exhaustive coverage? I’ll give Fox a pass on this one only because they caught that, "If my wheel comes off again, I’m comin’ back an’ hittin’ the entire crew over the head with a hammer," remark.
Man-Award: Given to the manliest driver on track today, obviously Martin Truex, Jr. Even passing kidney stones over the weekend and a heart attack in his crew couldn’t keep this Jr. from a top ten finish.
J.
"Kurt Busch lead most of it. Jeff Gordon got ahead of him for a while, then Kurt passed him and won. The end."
Big mistake on my part. The drama of the closing laps actually made up for lack thereof preceding it, even with the same end result. Kurt not only deserved to win by dominating most of the race, he earned it by passing Carl Edwards in Overdrive and fending off Jeff Gordon to the checkers. Tire strategies, past track history, and desire to win were all in Busch’s rear view mirror by the finish. And then he grabs the flag and puts the car in reverse for a backwards "Polish Victory Lap." How could you keep a straight face watching that? Good show.
My alternate title for this post was going to be: "Chicken, Bacon, Ranch." Thank you Dominos for your nigh genius decision to put this combination on a pizza. It was a little pricey, but they kill entire chicken for the toppings. Swear. You will not be cheated in ordering this delicacy. Next up on the menu, Dominos’ BBQ Chicken pizza. Mmmm.
My second alternate title was going to be: "Dueling Gophers." The premise of this cartoon, NASCAR vs. F1, was dead on, along with the song. Maybe I should give up blogging the race and focus on the food and "Little Digger."
"Boat race," "checking out," "F1-style," "cruise control," I admit my failure as a writer. I can’t keep coming up with new metaphors to describe the lack of excitement of watching somebody get out front and drive away from the field. Is this going to be a problem at every race this year? Here come the short tracks on the schedule, and our last hope for lengthy, on-track battles for the lead.
This race, the NASCAR competition director decided that Yates engines would be the ones experiencing failures. I think Ganassi/DEI is next up, but this process is determined randomly just to be fair.
Ever notice how Mike, Larry, and Daryl call the pit stops with the pit crews changing tires on the car, but never filling up with them up with gas? It’s always "Sunoco Race Fuel." If I were Goodyear, I’d be pissed. If I were a fan, which I am, I’d find this behavior obnoxious enough as is.
I made this comment a couple of years ago in a baseball post and feel compelled to mention it again. I’m sick of all of the malfunctioning d*ck commercials shown during the broadcast. I watch sports to take my mind off my thing for a few blessed hours. Give me some peace already.
Credit where credit is belatedly due. This year Fox has been getting back to the race BEFORE the restart, instead of joining it in progress coming back from commercial. This has been a big gripe of mine. I should noticed and said something earlier. Then again, this never should have been an issue. We’ll see if this trend continues at caution-heavy Bristol in two weeks. ("Plenty of good seats still available." Who could have ever imagined somebody saying that about NASCAR’s most popular track?)
How could I possibly comment on a NASCAR race without mentioning Jr.’s performance? God knows, he just doesn’t get anywhere near enough attention during the race. Is once every 15 minutes for a guy running at the back of the lead lap all day truly exhaustive coverage? I’ll give Fox a pass on this one only because they caught that, "If my wheel comes off again, I’m comin’ back an’ hittin’ the entire crew over the head with a hammer," remark.
Man-Award: Given to the manliest driver on track today, obviously Martin Truex, Jr. Even passing kidney stones over the weekend and a heart attack in his crew couldn’t keep this Jr. from a top ten finish.
J.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Why I hate big dungeons
Frequent trips back to town to recover and off load goods.
Getting out the deeper you go in.
Mapping.
No real world equivalent.
Little to no logic in their layout, arbitrary at best. Most dungeons are Gygaxian (map fills and follows the page size). Form doesn’t follow function. They’re independent of one another in this case.
Frequent use of traps and unavoidable ambushes slows party progress to a crawl.
Pseudo-naturalism: Creatures living and lairing in the dungeon. Trying to make it a logical and natural environment when it isn’t.
Standardized raiding tactics: listen at door, kick it in, kill the monster, loot the room, check for secret doors.
Nonsensical magical trick rooms. Challenge the player, not the character, my rear end. Most of these are solely for the amusement of the DM.
Concept relies on heavily on novelty rather than creativity on the part of the DM, and on the players’ esoteric puzzle-solving skills and ability to master raiding tactics.
Inherently unnatural environment for all occupants and visitors compared to a cave system (closest analogue), which has actual natural and lairing/temporary inhabitants.
Impossible logistics for most inhabitant creatures, especially intelligent ones.
Little rationale for building such a massive underground structures. Just calling them ancient structures of a bygone era, built for unknowable purposes doesn’t cut it.
Too many encounters, too close together. Hard to believe everything in the immediate area doesn’t attack all at once.
Explaining the presence of unplundered treasure amidst large numbers of intelligent creatures.
Creatures sitting around waiting to be slaughtered ("Keep on the Borderlands," yes, it’s still essentially a dungeon.) or trapped to the rafters waiting for adventurers to stumble in ("Tomb of Horrors").
If it’s famous and there’s so many valuable goodies within, why isn’t there a military presence there guarding and looting it for government revenue?
Ecological disaster. It’s hard of imagine some of the powerful creatures in the depths not uniting the less powerful ones above into taking over the entire countryside outside the dungeon.
Why are the most powerful creatures at the bottom, if for any reason other than meta-gaming?
Improbable environment for large creatures, unless they can change size, have a large exit, or don’t require any physical upkeep.
NPC’s in the dungeon: Hard to flesh out characters in unnatural and lethal combative environment. The dungeon itself is an NPC that overshadows everything in it.
Why not play Warcraft or Diablo on the computer instead? Same thing. Don’t have to make up maps, buy expensive mini’s, or put up with idiot players or DM’s (if you play by yourself).
Alternately, why bother calling it a "role-playing" game. Just set up your dungeon tiles and figures and play it like a wargame.
You’ve seen one; you’ve seen them all.
J.
Getting out the deeper you go in.
Mapping.
No real world equivalent.
Little to no logic in their layout, arbitrary at best. Most dungeons are Gygaxian (map fills and follows the page size). Form doesn’t follow function. They’re independent of one another in this case.
Frequent use of traps and unavoidable ambushes slows party progress to a crawl.
Pseudo-naturalism: Creatures living and lairing in the dungeon. Trying to make it a logical and natural environment when it isn’t.
Standardized raiding tactics: listen at door, kick it in, kill the monster, loot the room, check for secret doors.
Nonsensical magical trick rooms. Challenge the player, not the character, my rear end. Most of these are solely for the amusement of the DM.
Concept relies on heavily on novelty rather than creativity on the part of the DM, and on the players’ esoteric puzzle-solving skills and ability to master raiding tactics.
Inherently unnatural environment for all occupants and visitors compared to a cave system (closest analogue), which has actual natural and lairing/temporary inhabitants.
Impossible logistics for most inhabitant creatures, especially intelligent ones.
Little rationale for building such a massive underground structures. Just calling them ancient structures of a bygone era, built for unknowable purposes doesn’t cut it.
Too many encounters, too close together. Hard to believe everything in the immediate area doesn’t attack all at once.
Explaining the presence of unplundered treasure amidst large numbers of intelligent creatures.
Creatures sitting around waiting to be slaughtered ("Keep on the Borderlands," yes, it’s still essentially a dungeon.) or trapped to the rafters waiting for adventurers to stumble in ("Tomb of Horrors").
If it’s famous and there’s so many valuable goodies within, why isn’t there a military presence there guarding and looting it for government revenue?
Ecological disaster. It’s hard of imagine some of the powerful creatures in the depths not uniting the less powerful ones above into taking over the entire countryside outside the dungeon.
Why are the most powerful creatures at the bottom, if for any reason other than meta-gaming?
Improbable environment for large creatures, unless they can change size, have a large exit, or don’t require any physical upkeep.
NPC’s in the dungeon: Hard to flesh out characters in unnatural and lethal combative environment. The dungeon itself is an NPC that overshadows everything in it.
Why not play Warcraft or Diablo on the computer instead? Same thing. Don’t have to make up maps, buy expensive mini’s, or put up with idiot players or DM’s (if you play by yourself).
Alternately, why bother calling it a "role-playing" game. Just set up your dungeon tiles and figures and play it like a wargame.
You’ve seen one; you’ve seen them all.
J.
What I like about big dungeons
Some of these points will directly contradict those I mention on my Hate list. It’s a love/hate relationship.
Virtually a free-fire zone, guilt-free looting.
Channels, directs, and focuses action, making it easier for DM’s and players to plot their moves.
Great possibilities for exciting chase scenes.
Plenty of available material, some of it even free.
"Stonehell" http://poleandrope.blogspot.com/
"Mad Arch-Mage" http://greyhawkgrognard.blogspot.com/
"Kobold Caves" http://oldguyrpg.blogspot.com/
"Dismal Depths" http://shamsgrog.blogspot.com/
Simplest environment for adventuring. It can even be made up at random.
Alien, unreal environment allows for weirdness, and inhuman creatures seem normal.
Changing the "default" adventure environment may involve changing the game. "Old School" seems virtually synonymous with dungeons. It’s in the name of the game.
Here’s one big dungeon I like--Maure Castle from Dungeon #112. While it’s Gygaxian in layout and filled with absurd tricks and traps, the dungeon’s main inhabitants make sense: a large, diverse group of raiders and cultists in an uneasy alliance.
Tramping through the woods is boring.
J.
Virtually a free-fire zone, guilt-free looting.
Channels, directs, and focuses action, making it easier for DM’s and players to plot their moves.
Great possibilities for exciting chase scenes.
Plenty of available material, some of it even free.
"Stonehell" http://poleandrope.blogspot.com/
"Mad Arch-Mage" http://greyhawkgrognard.blogspot.com/
"Kobold Caves" http://oldguyrpg.blogspot.com/
"Dismal Depths" http://shamsgrog.blogspot.com/
Simplest environment for adventuring. It can even be made up at random.
Alien, unreal environment allows for weirdness, and inhuman creatures seem normal.
Changing the "default" adventure environment may involve changing the game. "Old School" seems virtually synonymous with dungeons. It’s in the name of the game.
Here’s one big dungeon I like--Maure Castle from Dungeon #112. While it’s Gygaxian in layout and filled with absurd tricks and traps, the dungeon’s main inhabitants make sense: a large, diverse group of raiders and cultists in an uneasy alliance.
Tramping through the woods is boring.
J.
The truth about the new Battlestar Galactica
Number One: Why are there only 12 models and many copies? To save money on casting. One actor playing what is ostensibly several different parts.
Number Two: Cylons are gay. Really. That look like normal humans. They started out living in secret among the humans. They can't breed with one another. I'm sure there are other similarities. Seems like an obvious metaphor to me.
Number Three: Feel like there's something missing from the show since Season One? How about the steady erosion of likable characters? They've all become either disgusting and/or ridiculous. There's no one left to root for on this show. Whack 'em all. Not convinced. One word: Lumpkin. Case closed.
(One exception, Tom Zarek [Richard Hatch, the REAL Apollo]. This is only because he had Congress, err the Quorum, executed. Tell me you didn't cheer during that scene.)
Number Four: There was no plan. Just an unending series of ret-cons, hasty explanations, and a tale woven from whole cloth with the consistency of a block of Swiss cheese. Apparently, no one was more shocked that this show was actually produced than the producer himself, Ron Moore. The sin was not the absence of a plan, but the implication of one when there wasn't.
Number Five: The ending will disappoint everyone watching. (On a personal level, I hope I revise this one later.)
J.
Number Two: Cylons are gay. Really. That look like normal humans. They started out living in secret among the humans. They can't breed with one another. I'm sure there are other similarities. Seems like an obvious metaphor to me.
Number Three: Feel like there's something missing from the show since Season One? How about the steady erosion of likable characters? They've all become either disgusting and/or ridiculous. There's no one left to root for on this show. Whack 'em all. Not convinced. One word: Lumpkin. Case closed.
(One exception, Tom Zarek [Richard Hatch, the REAL Apollo]. This is only because he had Congress, err the Quorum, executed. Tell me you didn't cheer during that scene.)
Number Four: There was no plan. Just an unending series of ret-cons, hasty explanations, and a tale woven from whole cloth with the consistency of a block of Swiss cheese. Apparently, no one was more shocked that this show was actually produced than the producer himself, Ron Moore. The sin was not the absence of a plan, but the implication of one when there wasn't.
Number Five: The ending will disappoint everyone watching. (On a personal level, I hope I revise this one later.)
J.
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