ALMS The Streets of Baltimore 9-1-13

This is it, for me anyway.  The next two ALMS races are on cable, and I will presumably miss them.  Then next season will be the merger with Grand AM, and I think Fox Sports 1 will be carrying their races.  Unless I get an expanded cable package, I’ll miss those races too.  It’s good that there won’t be two competing series anymore for such a niche market, but the thought of actual Le Mans Prototypes racing against Daytona Prototypes, makes my skin crawl.  What’s worst, LMP is likely to be hobbled to not make the DP cars look bad, and then eventually they’ll just be phased out.  Maybe it’s better I don’t see anymore top-level sports car racing in this country. 

This wasn’t the race I would want to remember the series by.  For starters (oh, you knew this coming, just sit back and enjoy it), Kelli Stavast was absent from the broadcast.  This is disheartening in every possible emotional way for me.  She did a little promo video on the ALMS website for this race, why wasn’t she there in the pits?  Why?  Why?  I wonder if I’ll ever see her again.  Kelli was replaced by Justin Bell.  The reason I remembered his name was because the first thing he did on the pre-race was name-drop his famous father, Derek Bell.  Good thinking for promotional purposes; a bad move for any earning credibility on your own.

For a street race, even in Baltimore, the start of the race was a new low in excitement.  The first, field-clearing wreck happened, BEFORE the green flag.  You see, because of some train tracks (the bane of all street races) on the front stretch, they inserted a chicane in the middle of this straight, high-speed section to slow down the cars to avoid damaging them on the tracks.  Instead, the cars were damaged in more creative ways. 

For the start of race, the cars were supposed to parade, double file directly past the chicane, instead of through it.  One car hit the back of another during the start, and there was a spin and nine cars were damaged in a complete track-blocking melee that delayed the restart for an hour.  There’s a Ferrari, a Viper, and some Porsches in the scrap pile.  At least the in-car crash footage was impressive. 

Several hundreds of thousands of dollars in repair damage later (little wonder the Delta Wing didn’t show up), the race resumed.  They actually got past Turn 1 before having the next large wreck, but this one only brought out a full course caution.  The killer chicane was not through with the field however. One of the Corvettes got it’s front end realigned.  (Didn’t hurt the car’s speed though, it actually held the overall race lead for a short time, and it won in class.)  Later, after yet another full course caution, the tire barrier around the chicane had been banged around bad enough to where it had to be moved back to its original position.  On the restart, the leading prototype banged right into it and knocked it off to the side again, and of course, damaged the car. 

After the driver change later in the race, the two drivers involved in the incident at the start of the race were interviewed.  Both cited different rules laid down in the driver’s meeting for how the race start was supposed to be conducted to explain their driving.  In other words, the problem was with race layout and the rules.  Yeah, it’s kind of cool watching sports cars go all “Dukes of Hazard” up on two wheels as they all end up hitting the chicane too fast, but it’s not good for the cars or continuous racing action. 

Here’s a better idea, when the contract runs out on this venue, don’t renew it.  In fact, go ahead and cancel all the street races, except for Long Beach (not that it’s good race, but it’s historical).  Put that Cleveland Airport race on the schedule again (if it’s still there).  Yeah, it’s ugly with no elevation changes and laid out with a bunch of orange cones, but the race is good and there’s no damn train tracks. 

Well, goodbye ALMS.  You know in spite of my bitching, I did actually enjoy the race.  You guys put out a good product.  I hope the new series takes more after you guys than Grand Am.  Goodbye Kelli, wherever you are.  I’ll miss you.  

How to Watch Sports

I get frustrated when people say that baseball is too slow and boring.  Well, I think it’s slow at times too, and some games are bad.  Compare it to any other sport though.  There are plenty of bad games in every sport and other sports are slow at times too.  You want slow, how about the last two minutes of a close basketball game that takes 20 minutes to play out.  Or as George Will said about football, it’s “violence, punctuated by committee meetings.” 

So, if I think baseball is slow and boring at times, why do I still enjoy it, and why do other people enjoy other sports that are also slow and boring at times?  I think it has something to do with how you watch the sport.  I think it’s important to recognize that different sports require different levels of attention in order to really enjoy them.  Here are a few observations and suggestions that may help to enhance your viewing.

Baseball, for example, is a daily sport.  It’s like a soap opera.  You’re following the characters (players) in their trials and tribulations (the games).  Individual episodes (games) may be good or bad, but following along with teams for the season is how you build an emotional attachment to them.  Any given game may not sell a new potential fan on the sport, but if you follow along, you’ll get into it.  This doesn’t mean you’re watching every inning of every game (unless you’re living in the MLB Fan Cave).  It just means you’re following along everyday, looking at scores, box scores, recaps, watching or listening when you can to whatever you can.  You can go into a slump, just like the team, and take time off, perhaps becoming re-interested if the team starts winning again. 

If you’re looking for a weekly spectacle in a baseball game, like in football, you’re probably not going to get it.  Sure, there’s a possibility you’ll see something spectacular, but more than likely you’ll be collecting little moments of coolness or stupidity or weirdness during a game.  They could come from the players, the broadcasters, even the crowd.  (This is at least one reason why I hate when networks hype up regular season games, especially rivalry games.  Usually, frankly, they’re nothing special.)  Something interesting is going to happen.  I guarantee it (more or less).  This feature also allows you to watch games between teams you could care less about, even if your team isn’t doing well.  So if you’re going to give a baseball a chance, you’ve got to try to commit to it for a season.  Obviously, if you’re not enjoying any of the individual games, even with daily continuity, baseball may not be your sport.

I’m no hockey expert.  I get to watch so little hockey that I really don’t even have a rooting interest in any team.  (Given where I live, it’s not like I have a regional interest.)  I’d watch more if I could, because I really enjoy the sport. When the Winter Classic New Years game was cancelled this year, I was devastated.  That was appointment TV for me.  I don’t understand why the sport isn’t more popular.  It’s figure skating with some boxing thrown in.  I’d think that would appeal to everyone. 

Beyond learning the general rules, I figured out one thing about hockey that increased my enjoyment of the sport tremendously.  You have to give the games your undivided attention.  No chit-chatting, checking updates on your Facebook page, going to the kitchen for snacks, or going to the bathroom.  Those things are reserved for commercial breaks and intermissions.  Really, the action in a hockey game is lightning quick.  Even if you’re paying attention, you may still may miss a goal being scored.  If you just sit and watch, you see things develop or be thwarted, and the dramatic tension in the game rises accordingly, along with your enjoyment.  Of course, if it’s blow out, forget what I just said.  It’s not going to help you there.       

Some think the genius of the NFL is that they’ve made their games an event, a spectacle.  Actually, the genius part is that they’ve figured out a way to make boring games interesting.  But it’s going to cost you.  That’s right, betting is how you really enjoy the NFL.  Sure, latching onto a team, having some commiseration or rivalry with your friends, having a party, and knowing that you can start a conversation with just about anyone in the country based on football are good parts of the game.  In order to keep up with everyone, you have watch as much as possible and study the sport when it’s not on.  Crappy pre-season games suddenly take on a new meaning, researching the teams.  Then you think you know something about the sport, so you enter office pools and maybe make bets based on the line.

But the real emotional interaction is the Double F word, Fantasy Football.  This is the magic that makes a crummy blow out game, potentially your highlight of the weekend, if you’ve picked the right players.  Low-scoring old school games are unlikely now, as the NFL caters to generating fantasy stats.  Your regional games aren’t interesting and network updates of other games aren’t coming fast enough, flip over to the Red Zone channel.  See nothing but scoring.  So football is really about socializing (having a party with the game on) and having something riding on the game, more than just some arbitrary team pride.

College football?  Graduate from a major college and become an alumni.  That’ll make the games interesting.  College basketball?  Only March Madness means anything and obviously it’s because of people filling out their brackets.  NBA?  I can’t tell you how to watch, but I’ll tell you how to make a rabid fan a committed non-fan.  Populate the league exclusively with a bunch of zero charisma thugs and jerks.  (I used to watch all the time.  It was my favorite sport.  So, I’m not a good person to objectively comment on it.) 

NASCAR?  I don’t know anymore.  I used to watch and enjoy it all the time.  Now, I can’t even hardly sit through a race.  Same thing with the IRL (except for Indy).  I know it was safety changes to the cars and a change to road and street courses that ruined the entertainment there.  (F1 races I’ve seldom ever found entertaining in and of themselves, though it has happened.)  With NASCAR, I just don’t know.  Rules changes, car changes, championship changes, perhaps the sport simply has an expiration of interest, unless you have a strong identification with a driver.  It may just be that the coverage has degenerated.  In that case, try listening to the radio coverage and watch an Internet streaming feed and see if that makes it more interesting.  (Oh, with sports car races, I just like watching the pretty cars driving fast.  If an actual race breaks out, swell.)

     

Tennis?  Latch on sexually to an attractive player and watch with a borderline obsessive interest.  You will enjoy the matches immensely, pretty much regardless of the score, though you really want your player to win so you get to see more of them.  Ahem, or so I’ve heard, not that I would personally know.  Golf?  Just watch the back nine on Sunday with the leaders.  Soccer?  No idea.  

ALMS Road America Elkhart Lake and other sports observations 8-11-13

I was going to retire saying anything on the subject of Kelli Stavast doing the pit reporting at these races.  Truly, I was.  But there she was at the beginning of the race and looked gorgeous.  Seemed like she had a new perm going.  I can’t explain it.  I’ve seen other attractive women doing race reporting, but somehow I just swoon seeing Kelli.  Unfortunately, that opening bit was all I saw of her.  The unified series next year will be on Fox Sports 1, so I don’t know if I’ll see her again after this year. 

I’m not sure how often Kelli was on camera, since I was flipping around during the race to a ball game and the PGA Championship.  This should have been a great race, but was it marred by several lengthy cautions, including the finish.  It just couldn’t keep my attention. 

Like I said, Kelli’s appearance got the race off to a good start.  Even better, the race itself started about five minutes after the coverage started.  Since this was about a two hour 45 minute road race, there was plenty of time to talk about the teams and such after it started.  The crew calling the race was a full, enthusiastic threesome.  Unfortunately, I only caught Johnny O’Connell’s name.  One of these days, I’ll have pen and paper ready at the start of one these races.  I really liked the Scotsman on the crew.  He bubbled with passion. 

The crew also imparted a good sense of economics during the race, mentioning how some of these vehicles were a half-million dollars apiece, the price of a nice house.  Somehow, that makes the carnage and crashes all the more enjoyable, yet tragic.  As is usual, there were plenty of other educational segments about racing and race technology during the coverage.

The race started in the wet.  After climbing the dramatic elevation before the front stretch, the race went green and huge rooster tails of spray shot out from behind the cars.  Unlike NASCAR, the headlights work on these cars, and they needed them and the windshield wipers.  Unfortunately, the first accident and caution came out soon after.  The track dried out fairly quickly, but other incidents would follow.  Even with the extraordinary length of the course, it took way too long to clean up messes.     

All that said, I did enjoy the racing I saw.  The very pretty and unmistakable, shining silver Delta Wing car was in competition and even held the overall race lead for a while.  (Once again, Indy Car, you people are a bunch of idiots for not adopting the Delta when you had chance, just flat out.)  Amongst the cutthroat competition between the car brands and their tire manufacturers, the Corvette-Viper struggle seemed to take center stage.  The Viper would win this time.  One other thing that I really enjoyed was one of the caution pit stops.  I know that sounds silly.  Basically the entire GT class pitted at the same time late in the race (as opposed to the usual, cars pitting one or two at a time).  It looked like a NASCAR race for a moment, but with cool sports cars instead of spec boxes.  Sigh.  What could be, but only in dreams.

As usual, I also really liked some of the commercials.  I know.  I’ve railed about NASCAR’s constant commercial interruptions.  It’s not like all of the cars, driver uniforms, and most of the track aren’t covered in ads, without having to put up with station breaks every five to ten minutes.  The breaks in ALMS races seem to be a little more reasonable, about every 15 minutes and fairly predictable in timing.  Not to mention, the quality of some of the spots is just way better.  The Porsche “Identity” and SRT “Power” commercials were very stylish and cool.

Speaking of NASCAR (and switching gears here), that does it!  I’m done with watching Nationwide races!  Hold it.  I might have said that at least two other times this year.  Well, this time for sure, mostly because I think the rest of races are on cable this season.  Seriously, they were at Watkins Glen, it was a fairly decent race, but the coverage was unwatchable.  There was some golf and baseball going on concurrently, but I really was trying to just watch the race.  I’ve already mentioned the commercials, but it’s also the broadcaster enthusiasm that just isn’t there.  I’d posit that the constant commercial interruption causes that.  My dad, who I was watching with, was however fascinated by Nicole Briscoe’s chest.  I admit that that was the only worthwhile headlights, err highlights of the pre-race show.  NBC Sports will be taking this over in a couple of years.  Who would have thought that we’d be looking back at NBC’s coverage as the good old days? 

In baseball, the Rangers struggled a bit with the Astros, but still beat them over the weekend.  The Alex Rios acquisition is already paying off in defense and offense.  The Cards beat the Cubs on Sunday in an interminably long game that even had JD complaining.  Excessive game length seems to be wearing on the broadcasters.  I noticed that the ballpark in San Francisco was full, rooting on a last place Giants team.  A-Rod hit a home run off the Verlander.  Mariano Rivera blew his third save in a row. 

But who can deny the biggest sports story of the weekend?  Yes, Evan Longoria and Rays pulling the old hidden ball trick on Juan Uribe and the Dodgers.  What else could it be?  It was so craftily done, even the broadcasters didn’t catch it until several replays later, and Dodger manager Don Mattingly had to get an explanation from an umpire.  Later in game, when Uribe was on third again, he and Evan were laughing about it.  After the game, the Dodgers presented Uribe with a base with a shoe taped to it.  Unfortunately, that was the only highlight for the Rays in their inaugural visit to Dodger Stadium as they self-destructed and rolled over for three games. 

ALMS Long Beach 4-21-2013 Claustrophobia

Nothing like watching a bunch of expensive sports cars drive fast in confined spaces, often into the walls and into each other. I think there was at least a half-hour of caution in this hour and a half race. Street races are often like this, but I think only Monaco is a tighter fit for the cars than Long Beach. Of course Monaco has no where near the same amount of traffic that an American Le Mans race has.

The comparisons between these two tracks don’t stop there. They are the glamour venues in their respective series. Both feature a marina; Monaco with the expensive yachts, Long Beach has a large sailing ship and the Queen Mary in the background. Monaco has the casino turn, a theater, a bank, and a Gucci’s shop along the race route. Long Beach has a hotel with a lagoon inside the track. Monaco has the very slow and scenic Loews hairpin. Long Beach has the pretty fountain chicane and a tight hairpin at turn one. While there’s no fear-inducing Tunnel on the track, Long Beach feels very enclosed pretty much all the way around.

And then the comparisons fall apart. Monaco has royalty. Long Beach has a celebrity Pro-Am race during the weekend. That’s likely the main reason for the continued survival of this race, where most street races go away after a couple of years. So, thank you celebrities and your ego-stroking racing fantasies for keeping this race venue alive. Wealth and the crowds are conspicuous at Monaco. Long Beach has the more traditional street race feel, a bunch of cars driving down empty streets. There are spectators and a few grandstands. They just don’t show up on the most of the camera views, so there’s this oppressive sense of a racing spectacle with no one watching. Event organizers should watch the TV view of their race sometime.

It’s still the last season of ALMS before the merger next year, though you’d never know it from watching the coverage. That’s okay. I’m not looking forward to seeing those butt-ugly Daytona Prototypes slowly chugging around the track and would like to forget it’s going to happen. In the meantime, I was disappointed to not see the Delta Wing car out on track, but was impressed by the Viper team.

For the race itself there was plenty action, and by that I mean wrecks and spins, which was why the Safety Car (a Porsche?) got plenty of airtime. I think cars may have been getting hit on the warm up lap (just kidding). There were several penalties handed out for “avoidable contact.” The only way you could avoid contact in this race would be staying the parking lot (and you’d still probably get dinged).

In the GT Class (the only one I really care about), two BMW teams passed late for the lead and won the race. The Viper came in third, a good showing for a new team. The Corvettes came in fourth and fifth. Oh, the shame. I’m not sure if these are factory-sponsored teams or privateers. I’m also not sure if they’re based on the new vette (I don’t think so). Forgive me, me and dad (who more or less puts up with me watching these weird sports car races) got bacon cheeseburgers and chocolate shakes at Jack-in-the-Box during the race. But you’ll be happy to know that they tasted really good.

As for the coverage, okay, if you’ve read any of my other ALMS reports, you know the real reason why I’m watching. Kelli Stavast was there and cute and glowingly perky as ever. She’s got the whole pit lane reporting thing nailed, updating pit stops, talking about new tire construction, interviewing race winners, and looking good. There was a NASCAR race on Fox at the same time. I knew this because every time I flipped over there was a commercial on. Ha. ALMS has commercials too, not breaking in quite as often as NASCAR. But, ALMS has the cool commercials; high performance tires, sports cars, luxury cars, and NASCAR has their drivers out awkwardly pitching for random products.

ALMS Petit Le Mans 12-21-12

For a 12-hour race, understandably the ABC coverage was truncated. I do wonder where the race was broadcast live. I pitied the announcer. By the end of the show, it sounded like he had called the entire race. Speaking of the broadcast team, I was pleased to indulge in my Kelli Stavast fixation during the pit reports. She just has a devastating smile and a great voice, not to mention an infectious enthusiasm.

I thought the big news of the race was the complete lack mentioning of the "merger." More accurately, it was a buyout by the NASCAR owned Grand-Am series. The new entity is going to be called ISCAR.

ISCAR.

ISCAR?

I sincerely hope they haven't bought any letterhead or anything else with that name on it and can go ahead and change that. Perhaps somewhere in the original 12-hour broadcast they discussed it, otherwise this looks really bad. This is the biggest news in ALMS history after all and the show was produced by ALMS (with ESPN personnel). On the other hand, the merger doesn't happen until 2014, so why bother bringing it up? It's probably a sore subject around the ALMS offices.

Another questionable item was the 2013 schedule. The announcers brought up that Mid-Ohio was off the schedule. That's a terrible loss as far as I'm concerned. It just looks so good on TV.

One of the more exciting things about the race for me was finally getting to see the Delta Wing concept car in action. This was just a non-points, test run, but it seemed to be doing very well. Unfortunately, they cut out the car's final fate, so I don't know how it ended up. (Quick look up, it finished fifth overall.) It truly looks like nothing else on track and is jarringly out of place. It also looks good though. There were even people dressed as Batman (the drivers?) posing with it. Dear IRL, you people are so stupid that you didn't pick this to be your car of the future.

Coverage of the night portion of the race was interesting, but really, if done right, it should look terrifying. I've gotten sweaty palms just reading an account of night racing at Le Mans. They likely needed to show more scary in-car views.

It was definitely worth watching just to see that silver Ferrari. By silver I mean a shiny, mirror finish with an awesome paint scheme on top of it. The producers must have known how eye-catching it was, since it was constantly on screen. In the race itself the Ferrari beat the corvette on fuel mileage for a class win. Wow, the NASCAR influence is already becoming apparent.

ALMS Long Beach “Looks like he’s driving a rental car.”

A great comment from someone watching a guy fishtail and burnout. I hang my head in shame that I have again forgotten to get the names of the ESPN commentators for this race so that I can properly attribute the quote. Anyway this maneuver happened during the race after a spinout. I would have awarded points for style, but this is American Le Mans, not a Formula D drifting contest.

Long Beach is probably about the worst case scenario for processional, lock step street course racing outside of F1’s Monaco race. I have to give ESPN credit for making the venue actually look a bit like Monaco as well. I’ve watched a couple of Long Beach races before and place always looked cheap and trashy. Maybe that was because they were Champ Car events. The overhead and aerial views were beautiful. While the yachts weren’t quite as spectacular as the European race, the Queen Mary is a more than impressive replacement.

For such a beautiful day and a race full of cool cars, the crowd was just so-so, like yesterday’s baseball game. What are all these SoCaler’s doing on the weekend? Perhaps if the state legalizes weed, they’ll be more willing to show up during the day. If watching paint peel while you’re high is fun, just imagine the additional excitement of being at a race. I appreciate blowheads. They make me feel better about my own sad life. They’re a group of people I can look down on.

Good news and bad news to start the race. The GT1 Corvettes were back, but only for a final engagement. No comment on whether it was lack of GM funding and/or lack of competition from somebody like Aston Martin. They will be back in the GT2 class later in the season and be joined by the new Jaguar team. So, GT1 goes away I guess, but the competition heats up in GT2.

The commentary from the race was well done again with plenty of detail information on the cars and the tires (worth noting, since there several different brands in use). There seemed to be a careful nod to explain things to new viewers. Being new fan-friendly for a lessor known series like this is a must. Kelli Stavast (the only member of the broadcast team whose name I can ever remember) was still a little shaky in presentation at times, but her knowledge and reporting were well done.

There was more “green” crap. I don’t know what they were measuring with their “green” challenge amongst the teams, and I don’t care. Right now, this is all hype and no substance. I can say this safely, because nobody ever makes a compelling business case for “green,” only an environmental one. These competing technologies are not trying to compete in the marketplace. They are hoping to be anointed the winner by government regulatory mandate. And wherever government is involved higher cost and inefficiency follow.

It was great to see fan icon, Boris Said, enter the race. It sucked that as soon as they pointed it out, he was involved in a crash. A short time later, Said was on camera again, as the cabin of his Corvette went up in flames. That was scary to watch. I’m sure it scarier being a participant. Boris was okay and, just as importantly, his ‘fro was okay afterward as well. I love those vettes, but between watching this firestorm and Dale Earnhardt Jr’s from a couple of years ago, I think I’d shy away from wanting to drive a car prone to spontaneous combustion.

This race may not have been ALMS’ finest hour. A potentially bad call by the officials in the pits cost the Patron team the race. Said’s late race crash caused the race to finish under yellow. Because the race was timed, a potentially exciting restart got scrubbed. I think got my time’s worth from the sights and sounds of the race anyway.

Best commercial: Acura’s classically themed promotion. Unfortunately, I couldn’t identify the music.

J.

St. Petersburg ALMS race: Something Missing

I was planing on writing an Indy 500 blog and decided I’m only commenting on other non-NASCAR races if I saw something worth writing about. When I sit down for a NASCAR race, I’m always worried that nothing comment-worthy is going to happen. Somehow, plenty of stuff always comes up. The day it doesn’t, I guess I should stop.

This ALMS race was entertaining. There were only two significant passes, and while I rail at NASCAR for boat racing (few passes for the lead on track), I go into a sports car race with entirely different expectations. Forgive me for not naming names and teams, but again I don’t watch American Le Mans for the personalities, so much as for the cars. Where else can you see Ferraris banging fenders with Porsches? The series best selling point, the cool cars, tends to overshadow the drivers, completely backward from NASCAR marketing.

Still, there was stuff missing from what I had seen from previous broadcasts. Teams: Penske and AGR. The Aston Martins (privateer and factory). The factory corvettes. The entire GT1 class (such as it was to begin with). The P1 Audi’s. Hopefully, some of these cars will return after Le Mans in France runs. There was still plenty of variety with BMW, Porsche, Ferrari, Dodge Viper, Ford Mark VII, Panoz, and a privateer Corvette. The field was a bit thin, especially in the Prototypes. Anyone watching on TV or in person, likely got what they were looking for anyway.

The coverage was entirely functional. Considering this was an ESPN production, that’s a compliment. The pre-race was no nonsense setup and the commentary was lively and involved throughout the race. Forgive me for not naming names. I know who these people are, but forgot to write their names down. One person I will name is Kelli Stavast. I am familiar with her CORR (off road racing) coverage, and she is totally crush-worthy. In this venue, she seemed a little shaky at times, but I’m sure she’ll grow into it.

The bright, sunny camera views were perfect for this oceanfront race. There were even happy crowd shots. The on-board cameras, especially the rooftop views, were great at bringing the speed and claustrophobia of street racing home. I was disappointed with their video blog racer, Chad Cody (hope I got that name right), because it was interesting, but there wasn’t enough of it.

Will ALMS ever live down ruining Dale Earnhardt Jr’s racing career with that fiery, spinout a couple of years ago? Who knows? In the meantime, they’ve found their niche. Even with some subtractions, the series delivers on what it promotes.

Geek out: Gotta love the mostly classy, upscale commercials during ALMS broadcasts. The slow motion, bullet through the bottle spot for Acura, was my fav.

J.