How to Watch Sports

I get frustrated when people say that baseball is too slow and boring.  Well, I think it’s slow at times too, and some games are bad.  Compare it to any other sport though.  There are plenty of bad games in every sport and other sports are slow at times too.  You want slow, how about the last two minutes of a close basketball game that takes 20 minutes to play out.  Or as George Will said about football, it’s “violence, punctuated by committee meetings.” 

So, if I think baseball is slow and boring at times, why do I still enjoy it, and why do other people enjoy other sports that are also slow and boring at times?  I think it has something to do with how you watch the sport.  I think it’s important to recognize that different sports require different levels of attention in order to really enjoy them.  Here are a few observations and suggestions that may help to enhance your viewing.

Baseball, for example, is a daily sport.  It’s like a soap opera.  You’re following the characters (players) in their trials and tribulations (the games).  Individual episodes (games) may be good or bad, but following along with teams for the season is how you build an emotional attachment to them.  Any given game may not sell a new potential fan on the sport, but if you follow along, you’ll get into it.  This doesn’t mean you’re watching every inning of every game (unless you’re living in the MLB Fan Cave).  It just means you’re following along everyday, looking at scores, box scores, recaps, watching or listening when you can to whatever you can.  You can go into a slump, just like the team, and take time off, perhaps becoming re-interested if the team starts winning again. 

If you’re looking for a weekly spectacle in a baseball game, like in football, you’re probably not going to get it.  Sure, there’s a possibility you’ll see something spectacular, but more than likely you’ll be collecting little moments of coolness or stupidity or weirdness during a game.  They could come from the players, the broadcasters, even the crowd.  (This is at least one reason why I hate when networks hype up regular season games, especially rivalry games.  Usually, frankly, they’re nothing special.)  Something interesting is going to happen.  I guarantee it (more or less).  This feature also allows you to watch games between teams you could care less about, even if your team isn’t doing well.  So if you’re going to give a baseball a chance, you’ve got to try to commit to it for a season.  Obviously, if you’re not enjoying any of the individual games, even with daily continuity, baseball may not be your sport.

I’m no hockey expert.  I get to watch so little hockey that I really don’t even have a rooting interest in any team.  (Given where I live, it’s not like I have a regional interest.)  I’d watch more if I could, because I really enjoy the sport. When the Winter Classic New Years game was cancelled this year, I was devastated.  That was appointment TV for me.  I don’t understand why the sport isn’t more popular.  It’s figure skating with some boxing thrown in.  I’d think that would appeal to everyone. 

Beyond learning the general rules, I figured out one thing about hockey that increased my enjoyment of the sport tremendously.  You have to give the games your undivided attention.  No chit-chatting, checking updates on your Facebook page, going to the kitchen for snacks, or going to the bathroom.  Those things are reserved for commercial breaks and intermissions.  Really, the action in a hockey game is lightning quick.  Even if you’re paying attention, you may still may miss a goal being scored.  If you just sit and watch, you see things develop or be thwarted, and the dramatic tension in the game rises accordingly, along with your enjoyment.  Of course, if it’s blow out, forget what I just said.  It’s not going to help you there.       

Some think the genius of the NFL is that they’ve made their games an event, a spectacle.  Actually, the genius part is that they’ve figured out a way to make boring games interesting.  But it’s going to cost you.  That’s right, betting is how you really enjoy the NFL.  Sure, latching onto a team, having some commiseration or rivalry with your friends, having a party, and knowing that you can start a conversation with just about anyone in the country based on football are good parts of the game.  In order to keep up with everyone, you have watch as much as possible and study the sport when it’s not on.  Crappy pre-season games suddenly take on a new meaning, researching the teams.  Then you think you know something about the sport, so you enter office pools and maybe make bets based on the line.

But the real emotional interaction is the Double F word, Fantasy Football.  This is the magic that makes a crummy blow out game, potentially your highlight of the weekend, if you’ve picked the right players.  Low-scoring old school games are unlikely now, as the NFL caters to generating fantasy stats.  Your regional games aren’t interesting and network updates of other games aren’t coming fast enough, flip over to the Red Zone channel.  See nothing but scoring.  So football is really about socializing (having a party with the game on) and having something riding on the game, more than just some arbitrary team pride.

College football?  Graduate from a major college and become an alumni.  That’ll make the games interesting.  College basketball?  Only March Madness means anything and obviously it’s because of people filling out their brackets.  NBA?  I can’t tell you how to watch, but I’ll tell you how to make a rabid fan a committed non-fan.  Populate the league exclusively with a bunch of zero charisma thugs and jerks.  (I used to watch all the time.  It was my favorite sport.  So, I’m not a good person to objectively comment on it.) 

NASCAR?  I don’t know anymore.  I used to watch and enjoy it all the time.  Now, I can’t even hardly sit through a race.  Same thing with the IRL (except for Indy).  I know it was safety changes to the cars and a change to road and street courses that ruined the entertainment there.  (F1 races I’ve seldom ever found entertaining in and of themselves, though it has happened.)  With NASCAR, I just don’t know.  Rules changes, car changes, championship changes, perhaps the sport simply has an expiration of interest, unless you have a strong identification with a driver.  It may just be that the coverage has degenerated.  In that case, try listening to the radio coverage and watch an Internet streaming feed and see if that makes it more interesting.  (Oh, with sports car races, I just like watching the pretty cars driving fast.  If an actual race breaks out, swell.)

     

Tennis?  Latch on sexually to an attractive player and watch with a borderline obsessive interest.  You will enjoy the matches immensely, pretty much regardless of the score, though you really want your player to win so you get to see more of them.  Ahem, or so I’ve heard, not that I would personally know.  Golf?  Just watch the back nine on Sunday with the leaders.  Soccer?  No idea.