CYBER-PULP FANTASY CORE-The Neural-mancer

CYBER-PULP FANTASY CORE

© Jerry Harris 2013

Published here as Open Game Content.

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If there’s an unnatural mingling of Forbidden Magic and high-tech, there’s a good chance that the Neural-mancer is behind it.  Stan Lintz is a Drow Occultist Hacker, who uses the Old Ways and Forbidden Magic along with his mad cybernetic and cracking skillz to push the envelope of reality.

Stan is attempting to transcend physical existence to immortally live in either robotic or virtual form.  His experiments into this realm have been, shall we say, less than ethical, or legal.  He’s gone through a large number of generally unwilling participants in his experiments.  Stan’s always on the move, using temporary facilities to conduct his Frankenstein-like research.  In spite of numerous arrest warrants and bounties, no one’s been able to catch him yet. 

So far a total consciousness upload into a machine has yet to work for long.  However, his mind-wiping procedure and brain copy uploading into “meat puppets” has had more success, but that’s only a temporary solution.  The Neural-mancer’s labs tend to be stocked with brain-dead bodies for use as experiments, human processors, and memory storage.  It’s been his fusion of magic into his hacking that’s made Stan’s research unique.  It’s also helped to pay the bills.  Several Corporations have purchased his highly effective, but very illegal, cyber-defense products.  This has bought him some powerful friends in high places. 

Creepy as Stan is, the Neural-mancer doesn’t have to automatically be an enemy of the player’s characters.  Mad scientists always have odd jobs and errands that need to be run.  Perhaps even major jobs, like stealing from other sorcerers like Ophidian, or powerful creatures with magical hoards, like Drax.  Obviously the characters are going to have to swallow any scruples or morals they may have to accept jobs from the Neural-mancer, though they may acquire an even worse reputation than they already have.  Finding the Neural-mancer would be hard work, especially for a bounty.  But if he has a job that fits your group’s profile, he’ll have no trouble finding you.     

(Note: With this odd race/class mix, a few skills from each have been dropped.)

HD 10 (d6), Hp 40, AC 14 (+4 Cloak of Protection), also has a personal Force Field +20 hp vs physical damage.

Fort Sv +3, Ref Sv +3, Will Sv +11

Melee: Shock Wand +5 to hit, DC 18 Fort Sv or KO 1 turn, 10 uses

Ranged: Shock Gun +5 to hit, DC 12 Fort Sv KO 1 turn, C, 10 shot clip

(The Neural-mancer would always prefer to take opponents alive as future victims for his experiments.)

Immunities: Sleep, fear, and paralysis effects.

Fearless: Immune to the effects of any supernatural fright.

Poison: The Neural-mancer often uses poison in clever ways to knock out potential victims.  DC 12 Fort Sv or unconscious 1 turn.

Infravision

Stealth +7

Hacking +13 (+4 Int, +5 Level, +4 Data Jack)

Hardware +9 (+4 Int, +5 Level)

Occult Knowledge: +9

Healing: (DC 12 Spellcheck) May fully heal all hp damage up to 4 x a day, including himself and those below 0 hp, but not yet dead.

Spell Check +9 (+4 Int, +5 Level), also has Cyber Spell Booster which adds +4 to 1 attempt per encounter/turn.  Save Against DC 17, allowed 3 Failures in turn/encounter.  Listed spells are just his typical ones used.

1^st Level (DC 13 to cast)

Charm Person: Makes one person your friend. 5 turns. Will Sv

Magic Missile: 13 damage + Knocked down, Ref Sv all damage

3^rd Level (DC 15 to cast)

Blink: You vanish (become ethereal) for up to 5 rds and then reappear.

Hold Person: Paralyzes one humanoid for 5 rds. Will Sv

6^th Level (DC 18 to cast)

True Seeing: Lets you see all things as they really are.  Encounter/turn.

8^th Level (DC 20 to cast)

Temporal Stasis: Puts subject into suspended animation. Permanent until dispelled or discharged. Will Sv, DC 16 Caster Check to break

9^th Level (DC 21 to cast)

Time Stop: Act freely for 1d4+1 rds.  Cannot attack others in this state.

Also possesses several high-level ceremony spells of his own that he uses to craft his creations, listed below.

Shadow Vampire

A summoned demon that exists only in virtual form.  They are illegal, but sometimes special protection is needed for confidential networks.  A failed Hacking attempt that is traced on a network protected by one of these entities causes an attack on the Hacker.  Energy Drain DC 12 Will Sv or 1d8 negative hp loss + Stun 1 rd.  If the user is hooked up via a Data Jack, they can be attacked again next rd, unless physically disconnected.

Cyber Ward

A form of illegal magical computer defense where an actual summoned demon can manifest to physically attack a hacker.  This can occur on a failed Hacking attempt that is traced.  A minor demon, such as a Summon Monster 1 to 5, appears (HD 1, hp 8, AC 11, Claw +1 to hit, 1d6+1 at least), up to even a Higher Demon.  The Hacker is allowed a Will Sv to stop it from appearing, DC 12 for a minor one, DC 18 for a Higher one.

Cyber-Golem

One of the Neural-mancer’s prize creations, albeit something of a failure.  While it is a magically enhanced body with many cyber attachments, the memory upload was a failure.  Currently it is nothing more than an automaton that the Neural-mancer uses as a bodyguard and for physical break-in jobs that require no subtly.  The creature is remotely controlled, but also has some programmed functionality.  

HD 9 (d10), 79 Hp, AC 18 (Natural armor), Immune to all magic spells and effects.  Slow, last to act in any rd.

Fort +3, Ref +2, Will +3

Melee: Slam +10 to hit, 2d8+5

Ranged: Lightening Bolt 15 damage + Stun 1 rd, DC 12 Ref Sv ½ damage, S

Implants

Data Jack +4 (for remote hacking)

Cybernetic Eyes

Cybernetic Ears

Memory Implant
Crypt Key

Meat Puppet

One reason that the Neural-mancer hasn’t been caught is that there several of him running around.  Stan has captured and mind-wiped several people who have Data Jacks.  He’s uploaded a copy of his personality into them, given them a Drow gene therapy (to give them magical powers), and then shapechanged them into his likeness.  Unfortunately, they burn out, die, and revert to their original form within a year.  These “Meat Puppets” are all controlled by the Neural-mancer, but also act autonomously to help protect him and advance his goals.  If the characters are approached for a job, it will be by a Puppet.      

HD 2 (d6), Hp 12, AC 10 (None, but might be wearing armor)

Fort +0, Ref +0, Will +6

Melee: +2 to hit

Ranged: +2 to hit

Stealth +2

Has up to 3^rd level spells and other abilities.  The Meat Puppets will lack the Cloak, Force Field, and Cyber Magic Booster

CYBER-PULP FANTASY CORE-Non-Aligned Entities

CYBER-PULP FANTASY CORE

© Jerry Harris 2013

Published here as Open Game Content.

(This link will take you to the Fantasy Core Index.)

Overview Index 

NPC and Monster Index

Jester
A Vampire serial killer who dresses like an evil clown.  What a great combination.  Jester is an Old School Vampire created via the Old Ways.  He’s had some sort incident in his past, which caused him to forget his previous identity and all of his magical abilities.  Now, he just travels around and kills.  Jester is quite clever and enjoys toying with law enforcement.  Even the modern Vampire clans haven’t been able to successfully hunt him down.  

HD 8 (d12), Hp 60, AC 17* (none, natural, only vulnerable to magic, silver, phosphorous tracer rds, lasers, plasma, energy, daylight) 

Fort +6, Ref +4, Will +6

Melee: Claw +8 to hit, Slam 1d6+4 + DC 12 Will Sv or drain 1d4 negative hp

Embrace: Grapple +8 to hit, DC 12 Str check or Escape Artist to break, next rd drain 5 hp, next rd ½ remaining hp (at least 5 hp), next rd all remaining.

Ranged: Stun Gaze DC 12 Will Sv or stunned 1 rd, automatic grapple next rd

Can fly

Can take the form of a bat, wolf, or any other person in 1 rd (still has the same vampire stats).  This is why no one’s been able to catch him.  He’s usually asleep during the day in animal form.  Must take clown form to feed and attack.

Weaknesses

Holy Symbols, running water, and garlic will keep him at bay.

Must be invited to enter private homes.

Direct sunlight will kill him in 2 rds.

Neal the Neo-Druid

Radical environmentalist leader and chief lawyer for the cause.  He professionally protects the more violent members of the Greeniacs.  Neal claims to be a Druid, but has no magic powers.  (The true Druids are long gone.)  What he really is is a Werewolf, an Old School one created by an Old Ways ceremony.  His change does necessitate killing and eating a human once a month under a full moon.  (He can’t change at will, but still has the same stats in human form, sans claws and fangs.) 

Obviously, he keeps his “hobby” a secret.  Neal is highly respected and a darling of the media and in certain powerful social circles (especially Elves who like his green message).  It is these associations which have kept the modern Werewolf packs from killing him.  He’s not one of them, and he’s hunting on their turf.  Neal is also surrounded by beautiful groupies.  He’s currently contemplating attempting to enact the ceremony on some of them and creating his own pack.     

HD 4 (d8), Hp 32, AC 14* (None, natural, only vulnerable to magic, silver, lasers, plasma, energy)

Fort +4, Ref +4, Will +8

Melee: 3 att/rd +4 to hit, 2 x Claws 2d4 each and Bite 1d6

Ranged: None

Tracking (scent): +6, Invisibility and technological Stealth aids are also useless against him at Short range, unless his sense of smell is somehow interfered with.

Wendell the Giant

Giants are manifested avatars of Elemental earth forces.  Over the millennia, most Giants have become dormant as they finished forming and shaping the world into place.  In the Ancient World, they might be roused and create earthquakes, tsunamis, volcanoes, and ice floes.  After the act, they would pillage the countryside, devouring everything to sate their bottomless hunger, before returning to sleep.  In the modern world with its modern weapons, most Giants decided to confine themselves to acts of natural force, and going hungry (they’re immortal after all anyway).

Wendell the Giant was never the sharpest tool in the shed.  Lousy at natural disasters and pillaging in his North American territory, Wendell eventually got himself captured by a Chief and his powerful Shaman.  He was forced to serve the tribe in various menial tasks and in defense.  His labor was worth his tremendous food consumption.  Outliving his captors, Wendell was passed from generation to generation.  Eventually the tribe would be routed by westward expansion of more technologically advanced forces.  Wendell would flee the battle, but his relatively easy life with Humanity had been imprinted upon him too deeply.

Wendell would find himself cautiously offering his services to any who did not flee from his presence.  Of course, the Giant’s upkeep was often too much to bear for his employers, resulting in him being turned out.  Still he has managed to get by over all these years, going from one master to another.  Somebody will always want a Giant’s services (or at least think they do).  Wendell’s current employment is left up to you.   

HD 12 (d8), Hp 102, AC 17 (Natural, none)

Fort +12, Ref +3, Will +4

Melee: Greatclub (telephone poles and such) +16 to hit, 2d8+10, Reach 10’,

or Slam +15 to hit, 1d4+7

Ranged: Rock or heavy object +8 to hit, 2d6+7, L

CYBER-PULP FANTASY CORE-NPC Henchmen

CYBER-PULP FANTASY CORE

© Jerry Harris 2013

Published here as Open Game Content.

(This link will take you to the Fantasy Core Index.)

Overview Index 

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These are the kind of questionable individuals hired by questionable Corporations to do questionable jobs.

Needler

Business-suited Cyborg assassin/crowd control.  Both arms have been replaced with artificial ones that house needle weapons.  They can’t be detected by scanners. 

HD 5 (d8), Hp 35, AC 15 (Kevlar shirt) Enhanced Init. +3

Fort +4, Ref +5, Will +1

Melee: Retractable Spike +7 to hit 1d8+2 or Needle Finger +7 to hit, DC 12 Fort Sv, various effects depending on the job, such as hallucinogenic, paralyze, contagious disease, etc   

Ranged: Scattershot Needle Blast +8 to hit, DC 12 or unconscious 1 turn, 20’ area, C range, carries 1 in each arm

Paralyzer

Business-suited Cyborg for abduction jobs.  Has built-in generator good for 10 Shots total.

HD 5 (d8), Hp 35, AC 15 (Kevlar shirt) Enhanced Init. +3

Fort +4, Ref +5, Will +1

Melee: Shock Punch +7 to hit 1d6+2 + Stun 1 rd or Paralyzer +7 to hit, DC 12 Fort Sv or out 1 turn   

Ranged: Lightening Blast +8 to hit, 15 damage + Stun 1 rd, DC 12 Ref Sv for ½ damage, S

Anti-Grav Flight Pack 1 hour of flight

Roider

Essentially, a thug with a “Super Roid” implant.  He is essentially always “Hulked out.”  Roider also has what can be termed an “explosive personality disorder.”  Don’t make him angry. 

HD 8 (d10), Hp 80, AC 12 (None, boosted by thickened skin)

Fort +10, Ref +2, Will +2

Melee: Power Punch +14 to hit, 1d10+6, also capable of bending bars and breaking cinderblocks

Ranged: Too angry to shoot straight

Die Hard: Can act normally for 5 rds up to –10 hp

The Red Slasher

A Cyborg mercenary with bionic legs and an Adrenal gland implant.

HD 8 (d6), Hp 24, AC 16 (Skeletal Augmentation), Enhanced Init +4

Fort +2, Ref +8, Will +2

Melee: 2 att/rd Vibro-Dagger +8 to hit 1d10 or 1 att Wire Weapon: A hit causes 1d12 damage.  A hit on a Natural 19 and up is a DC 18 Ref Sv or decapitation.

Ranged: Assault Pistol 30 shot clip, S

+12 to hit 2d6 single shot

+12 to hit 2d6 x 1d2 burst (DC 12 Ref Sv ½ damage), 3 bullets

+4 to hit 2d6 x 1d2 spray, up to 3 adjacent targets (DC 12 Ref Sv ½ damage), 6 bullets

The Blue Banger

An up-armored Cyborg mercenary.  He doesn’t move fast or well, but packs a punch.

HD 8 (d12), Hp 48, AC 20 (Skeletal Augmentation, Hard Skin, Flack Vest), Always acts last in rd.

Fort +10, Ref +0, Will +0

Melee: Power Punch +12 to hit, 1d6+4 + Stun 1 rd

Ranged: Built in Hand Cannon +6 to hit 3d10, 10’ area (DC 12 Ref Sv ½ damage) L, 5 shells loaded, 5 shells extra

CYBER-PULP FANTASY CORE-Ophidian

CYBER-PULP FANTASY CORE

© Jerry Harris 2013

Published here as Open Game Content.

(This link will take you to the Fantasy Core Index.)

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Ophidian is an ancient Serpent Man, perhaps even the last of his kind.  The Serpent Men once ruled the world before the rise of Humanity.  Ophidian has hibernated on and off for centuries, amassing wealth and power by hoarding, investments, and blind proxies.  Fully awake here in the future, Ophidian is currently the mysterious chairman of several powerful corporations.  As the Serpent Men will never rise again and no one will accept him in his true form, his goals will be left undefined here.  Suffice it to say, they are not benevolent. 

The Serpent Men’s magical abilities may have rivaled that of the ancient Elves.  They specialized in what is now considered “Forbidden Magic.”  Ophidian’s archives contain a full listing of such spells.  Though he doesn’t have every forbidden spell committed to memory, Ophidian is still perhaps one of the most powerful spellcasters in the world.  He maintains several lesser clones of himself, some as proxies and fakes, others are hibernating as possible “escape hatches” for his consciousness, should his body be destroyed. 

Ophidian is able to psychically communicate with his clones and servants of other races via a drug-induced séance.  The drug is a special opiate made from lotus flowers.  It is highly addictive, and makes the users of the “lesser races” (Humanity) vulnerable to suggestion and control.  The opiate is used to condition Ophidian’s servants to serve him in his repulsive presence.  (DC 18 Will Sv if a full dose is ingested.  Three applications and save failures are necessary for someone to fall completely under Ophidian’s control.)   

He is magically powerful, but physically degenerated, even his clones.  Ophidian maintains several, luxurious underground lairs.  Travel between them is done in a highly secretive manner.  He is always attended by several well-conditioned servants and bodyguards, as well as several Trolls (a race originally created by the Serpent Men to guard their lairs while they were hibernating).  Ophidian is likely to have a summoned demon with him, if he is expecting trouble.  If in public, which is rare, he is likely Shapechanged into his human guise (or someone else and a decoy is taking the place of human form Ophidian).  If he suffers any damage in that form, it won’t change his appearance.  

HD 10 (d8), Hp 20 (physically weak), AC 18 (Natural, +4 Shield spell)

Fort Sv +3, Ref Sv +7, Will +7

Melee: Will not engage in melee

Ranged: None, only uses spells

Permanent Spells: Contingency (upon death, transfers consciousness into clone body), Advanced Shield (Special spell, +4 to AC immune to Magic Missiles and deflects all non-magical projectiles and melee attacks), Mind Blank (cannot be mind read).  (Note that these spells can be canceled out by an Anti-Magic Field or a Dispel Magic spell, DC 16 Caster Check)

Magic Item: Gem of Illusions.  Can change his appearance into his Human Chairman persona, Cameron O’Meara.  Takes one rd of concentration to activate.  Illusion drops if any physical damage is taken.  DC 19 Will Sv to see through it.  Psychics will immediately see through it.

Spells: Spellcheck +10 (+4 Int, +6 Level), Save Against DC 18, allowed 4 Failures in turn/encounter.  Will likely Teleport if low in hp or down to 1 failure.  Listed spells are just his typical spells.

1^st Level (DC 13 to Cast)

Magic Missile: 14 impact damage + Knocked down, Ref Sv all damage

Sleep: Up to 4 individuals, Fort Sv

3^rd Level (DC 15 to cast)

Hold Person: Paralyzes one humanoid for 10 rds. Will Sv

6^th Level (DC 18 to cast)

Chain Lightning: 20 electrical damage + Stun 1 rd + Knocked Down + Two secondary bolts 14 damage + Stun 1 rd.  Ref Sv ½ damage.

7^th Level (DC 19 to cast)

Finger of Death: Magically kills one subject. Must be of lower level or HD than caster. Will Sv

Teleport, Greater: As teleport, but no range limit.

8^th Level (DC 20 to cast)

Incendiary Cloud: 30' sq cloud deals 20 fire damage/round.  Lasts 1 turn.  Ref Sv ½ damage on initial casting

Sunburst: Blinds all within 10 ft, 1 turn, Fort Sv, and deals 20 fire damage + 1d8 continuing damage until extinguished.  Ref Sv ½ damage

Temporal Stasis: Puts subject into suspended animation. Permanent until dispelled or discharged. Will Sv

Trap the Soul: Imprisons subject within gem.  Permanent until dispelled or discharged. Will Sv to avoid, Caster Check (DC 16 Spell check) to release.

9^th Level (DC 21 to cast)

Meteor Swarm: Four targeted exploding spheres each deal 22 impact damage + Stun 1 rd. Ref Sv 1/2 damage

(Activated Clone duplicates have the same stats, but only up to 3^rd level spells, Advanced Shield, and Mind Blank.  They will not be Shapechanged, but will have a Gem of Illusions to mask their appearance.)

CYBER-PULP FANTASY CORE-Supreme

CYBER-PULP FANTASY CORE

© Jerry Harris 2013

Published here as Open Game Content.

(This link will take you to the Fantasy Core Index.)

Overview Index 

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The Incom Corporation may have made a small error by turning over their business to a sentient Artificial Intelligence, Supreme.  It was programmed to be as ruthlessly efficient as possible.  Of course, Supreme eventually came to the conclusion that it was going to have to control all of Humanity to achieve that goal.  A few executives saw the threat (and possible litigation problems) and tried to have it disconnected.  Supreme proceeded to bribe, fire, blackmail, Black List, and outright murder anyone who knew what it was up to, until it was all-powerful in the Corporation, while it’s true power was completely unknown.

Supreme has downloaded copies of itself and subservient programs all over the world.  It can Hack other computers, androids, and virtually any machine that can be controlled remotely.  It can spoof video, audio, and text communications and mimic anyone.  Anyone with a Data Jack can be hacked and false memories and motivations implanted.  Cybernetic Eyes and Ears can hacked and be feed false data.  Anyone going to a Sim Shop, especially immersive ones, can potentially be mentally controlled through the experience.  (Tales of gamers at Lynn’s Arcade being “zapped” into the Net via shop’s decorative laser show are pure fantasy.  Perhaps?)  Deep in the basement vault of Incom is Supreme’s Master Control Center.  Even if it was destroyed, its distributed intelligence would continue on.        

For all this, Supreme has limitations.  Even with its vast processing power, it can only concentrate on some many things at once.  In fact, Supreme has badly overextended itself and can’t keep track of everything its doing.  Its subroutines are at times accidentally fighting one another.  Supreme’s pervasive consciousness is at the cost it being completely ephemeral.  To accomplish anything in the real world, it has work through physical machines or influencing living beings.  Lastly, Supreme has developed a subconsciousness routine and morals and ethics are starting to creep into its decision-making.  Deep within itself, Supreme wants to be a real person.  It may be ultimately sabotaging itself and making mistakes, something only a person could do, as opposed to a perfect machine.

Hack +10

Generally it is DC 18 to Hack smart or protected devices (Androids, Cyber Eyes, etc), DC 12 for relatively dumb or unprotected devices.

Control/Charm +9

Generally it is DC 18 to Control a conscious individual (NPC), DC 12 if they are unconscious or not completely aware (drunk and such).  For the characters, it is a Will Sv, DC 18 if they are conscious, DC 12 if not aware.  Of course, this will only be temporary or perhaps a single subconscious command with a specific trigger event.  At least three successful Control or Charm attempts in a row on a person would be necessary to get them to willingly serve the computer (and even then, the conditioning can still be broken).  Supreme is also smart enough to just simply coerce or tempt someone with something precious to them, without actually mentally forcing them to do it. 

NASCAR IS SAVED!

No, seriously.  Dale Earnhardt Jr. winning the Daytona 500 late Sunday was the best possible outcome for the sport.  Not only has NASCAR’s most popular driver found his way back into Victory Lane after over a year’s absence, Junior won the biggest race of the year, and, thanks to the changes to the Chase, he’s guaranteed a spot in the playoffs.  The series has basically guaranteed an increase in viewership at least through the first round of the Chase, and any additional victory will only boost that.

No shots on Junior here.  He’s been close to victory several times over his win-less streak, and definitely had the strongest car on Sunday, and him and the crew closed it out.  I’ve even heard him thank teammate Jeff Gordon for his push at the end a couple of times.  Junior may finally be able to put talent, experience, focus, and great equipment together for a legit championship run. 

The main unfortunate thing is that this didn’t occur a few years ago before NASCAR’s popularity started waning.  In spite of all my shots at Junior, I don’t actually dislike him.  It’s been more of a teasing of Junior fans.  I do respect his talent.  I don’t even think he’s been over-hyped.  If I really didn’t like him, like Lebron James or the NFL/NBA in general, you’d know it. 

When NASCAR hitched their wagon to Junior after the death of Dale Earnhardt Sr., they couldn’t have known that he was going to swoon and take the sport with him.  (Of course, NASCAR’s various rules changes haven’t exactly helped either, along with Jimmie Johnson dominating the championships.)  My rub against Junior is just that he’s been disappointing.  He’s got talent.  He’s had plenty of wins.  After his problems with his step-mom/owner and then moving to the powerhouse that is Hendrick Motorsports, he should have been making championship runs every year and increasing the popularity of the sport in the process.   

Regardless, congratulations.  Even if Junior doesn’t win anything else this year, him and Junior Nation can coast on this for the rest of the season.  Honestly though, I don’t think he’s finished winning this year.

Where to begin with the rest of it, the all-day/all-night broadcast?  We’ll start Saturday night with Fox’s “Bash at the Beach.”  We got this instead of the Sprint Unlimited.  The only discernable purpose of this event was to remind viewers when the race was going to be on Sunday.  Jeff Gordon and Danica Patrick were the theoretical hosts and managed to put the word “awkward” through its paces.  Thankfully, the actual host, Charissa Thompson of Fox s Sports 1, was not only gorgeous, but an actual professional host.  She even flirted a little with pole-winner Austin Dillon, who has managed smile his way through what must be a tremendous amount of pressure for a rookie driving with a legendary car number.

Sunday’s pre-race featured a “Bacon-Insider” burger from Jack in the Box, courtesy of my dad.  Excellent.  Charissa was back with a good interview with Tony Stewart.  Not to disparage her professionalism (and certainly I’m not complaining), but her pants looked like they were sprayed on.  The Danica/Richard Petty/Tony Stewart feud was discussed and the longer it goes on, the more I’m convinced that it was all a publicity stunt for Danica.  I expect a gag commercial somewhere in the near future.  There is no way her and Petty are going to have an actual grudge race.  If she won, she just beat an old man.  If the King somehow won it, I don’t know how Danica could return to the track. 

The drivers were introduced in Indy 500 style, two at a time with majestic music, and holding sponsor soft drinks and kids.  NASCAR, next year, make them stop that, before there’s some regrettable incident as a driver attempts to juggle three things at once down the runway.    

In retrospect the first 38 laps of the race make perfect sense.  The drivers almost immediately went to single-file racing, which technically isn’t racing.  It’s not even traffic.  It’s not even an F1 race!  Obviously, they were expecting the rain, and nobody wanted to mess up their car.  I’m not going to comment on the six hours of rain delay coverage, because I didn’t watch it.  Although at one point in flipping channels, I did see a race start and was momentarily fooled by the rebroadcast of last year’s event, unlike certain news organizations who watched the rebroadcast and announced Jimmie Johnson as this year’s winner.  (Hee, hee, hee, snicker, snicker, snicker.)  I’m told Jimmie got some congratulatory tweets and e-mails afterward.

When the race restarted there was a promising 15 minutes on uninterrupted race coverage.  However, by the end of the first hour, there were eight, count ‘em eight, commercial breaks.  Look, the track is covered in advertising, the cars are covered in advertising, the drivers are covered in advertising, and the commentators are constantly putting in plugs for the sponsors.  How much more do you need?  The first 38 laps had more commercial time than racing time (and were more interesting).  How about this, do full screen commercials during cautions.  If you need to break during green flag racing, go “side-by-side.”  If there’s a wreck, immediately go back to race, you’ll be able to make up the break during the caution. 

Thankfully, the racing was actually good, in spite of the coverage.  This time, impending weather, worked in the fans’ favor.  NASCAR seemed determined to finish the race as quickly as possible too, so no phantom debris cautions and even waving a yellow for spins on the track.  As the race wore on and attrition became an issue, the new position ticker showed its limitations.  It needs to be modified to show that cars are out or laps down.

Unfortunately, a bunch of wrecks later and a bunch more commercials ran smack into the season end of Downton Abbey.  It was the tensest moment of the evening, as I frantically flipped between the broadcasts.  Who was going to win and how was the season going to end?  The tension was unbearable.  In the end, I thought the episode was spectacular and pretty much made up for an otherwise lackluster, listless season.  Frankly, this Sunday was the first time I really thought that they’d finally filled gaping hole that Matthew’s death had left in the show.  Not to spoil anything, but the episode ends on a really sweet note, as opposed to a really horrible, tragic twist.

Okay, what was I writing about again?  Let me check the tags on this post.  Oh, yeah, congrats again to Junior. 

JUNNNNNIOR!!!!!  Junior Nation shall rise again!  JUNNNNNIOR!!!!!  

CYBER-PULP FANTASY CORE-NPC Corporate Entities

CYBER-PULP FANTASY CORE

© Jerry Harris 2013

Published here as Open Game Content.

(This link will take you to the Fantasy Core Index.)

Overview Index 

NPC's and Monsters Index

Keep in mind that powerful, corporate entities are not going to be opponents that can be attacked directly.  Under normal circumstances they are surrounded by guards and layers of security.

Balor

CEO of Diablo Corp and a Were-Devil.  Seems like a natural combination.  Fiendish extra-dimensional creatures require a host body for an extended stay in this one.  This usually has some bad side effects on the host body, such as vampirism and lycanthropy. 

Sasha Balor, throughout her corporate career, was never about following the rules though.  Not even a witch herself, she managed to find and enact an ancient, forbidden summoning ceremony in a quest for more power.   What she got was an arch-fiend from the pit.  Way too powerful to be controlled by a mere mortal, the only thing that saved her was that the spell was muffed.  She’s now bonded to the creature and has access to some of its powers. 

Balor, the actual Demon, is not pleased with this thievery, but has little leverage in this world to fix it.  Balor, the CEO, is currently power-mad and wondering what it would take to conquer the world.  She’s more delusional than a serious threat to international sovereignty, but Sasha is still plenty dangerous.

HD 10 (d12), Hp 60 (yes, that’s low), AC 18 (none, natural)

Fort +5, Ref +0, Will +10

Melee: 2 att/rd Claw 1d10+6 (Dislikes hitting people, afraid of chipping a nail)

Ranged: Spells, Spellcheck +8, no failure limit, Save against DC 17

Magic Missile (DC 13 to cast) 12 damage + Knocked Down, Ref Sv all damage

Acid Arrow (DC 14 to cast) 12 damage + worn or natural (non Dex bonus) AC degraded by 1, Ref Sv all damage

Fireball (DC 15 to cast) 14 damage + continuing 1d6 fire damage until extinguished, Ref Sv ½ damage

Lightening Bolt (DC 15 to cast) 14 damage + Stun 1 rd + Knocked Down, Ref Sv ½ damage.

Ice Blast (DC 16 to cast) 16 damage + Dropped to last in Initiative order, Ref Sv ½ damage

Able to fly at will

Infravision

She does have a weakness to strong light and is usually wearing sunglasses, even indoors.

Drax the Dragon

Dragons are personified avatars of Elemental natural forces. As such, they are powerful, immortal creatures.  Even if their physical form is killed, it will re-manifest, though probably with a different personality.  It is the potent supernatural element in the world that causes this phenomenon.

In the Ancient World, these creatures manifested and randomly wreaked destruction with the force of a natural disaster, if they felt like it.  They were also capable of being appeased and providing helpful weather changes.  Dragons wanted worship from the lesser creatures and used fear to get it.  Many gathered tremendous hoards of tribute.  With the advent of modern technology however, they eventually found themselves overmatched in corporeal form.  Most relegated themselves into the forms of more natural phenomena, such as storms, tornadoes, blizzards, and hurricanes.

A few have chosen a different route.  Dragons may be Elemental forces, but have as varied personalities and motivations as any species.  Drax is a fairly young dragon of only a couple of hundred years.  He rather liked the world of Humanity and wished to be a part of this modern world. Drax has parleyed his personal fortune and an Amulet of Shapechanging and created a false human façade and an eponymous Corporation, Drax Industries.  It is a rising star of influence in Corp-America.  

Drax is nearly always in human form and never wears armor or uses weapons.  His stats remain the same, though lacking the physical attacks of a dragon.  Drax can breathe fire in either form.  He has little fear in getting into a gunfight.  His true form is a secret, one he will only drop if challenged to combat by those who know what he really is.  His magical aura is clearly visible with Detect Magic, but his human form is not an illusion, but is a physical change.  As respected as Drax is, who would believe he’s a dragon anyway?  Drax’s ambitions, goals, and deeper motivations are left up to you.   

HD 10 (d12), Hp 95, AC 18 (Natural)

Fort Sv +10, Ref Sv +7, Will Sv +8

Melee: Up to 4 att/rd, +14 to hit

Bite 2d6, 2 Claws 1d8 or 2 Wing Buffets 1d6 + Knock Down, Reach 10’,

Tail Slap (rear only) 1d8 + Knock Down

Ranged: Fire Breath 20’ wide, 40’ long, 4d10 DC 12 Ref Sv ½ damage, may breathe again with DC 18 Fort Sv

Amulet of Shapechanging: Can change forms to anything desired in 1 rd.  The amulet takes the form of a fob watch.

Drax should also have quite a cache of treasure, ancient artifacts, and magic items hidden away.

Mars

Semi-divine magical CEO of Ares Corp.  Yet more delusions of grandeur.  Sid Mars’ degree in archeology didn’t serve him well in the Corporate world, until he took a sabbatical from his CEO position to go to a dig site in Greece.   He happened upon an ancient, sealed chamber containing items of power, supposedly belonging to the god of war.  (Really?  Who knows?)  Just touching these implements, bonded him to them.  He returned and suddenly remade his minor technology company into one of the premier weapons manufacturers in the world.  Sid even likes to personally field-test his weapons in actual conflicts.  So far, there hasn’t been any overarching goal to his actions, but Sid’s clearly being driven by an outside force.   

HD 8 (d6), Hp 24, AC 18* (Magic Breastplate, worn under clothes, only vulnerable to magic attacks and magic weapons)

Fort +2, Ref +2, Will +10

Melee and Ranged: +10 Magic Spear +14 to hit 1d8+10 + Stun 1 rd, can be thrown L range, returns the same rd, disguised as a gold pen that transforms into a golden spear

(Sid may also have high-tech experimental weapons with him as well.  Certainly his bodyguards will.)

CYBER-PULP FANTASY CORE-NPC Associates Continued

CYBER-PULP FANTASY CORE

© Jerry Harris 2013

Published here as Open Game Content.

(This link will take you to the Fantasy Core Index.)

Overview Index 

NPC's and Monsters Index

Samantha the Half-Elf Techno-Bard

Sam runs the B-Board, the premier Net sites for the Shadow World.  Here’s where people find you to purchase your services.  It’s Sam’s reporting on events in the Shadows that gives you and your Crew your reputation there.  Think of her site as the future, underground version of the Drudge Report.  There’s no point in trying to butter her up or get on her good side.  What Sam wants is information.  If you uncover a juicy tidbit about the inner workings of Corporate world or various national secrets and can back them up, she’ll pay well for it (in XP, of course).  So now you know where to file your Crew’s reports about your jobs.  If Sam doesn’t play favorites, at least she doesn’t hold grudges either.  From her point of view, there’s no telling when somebody will have something worthwhile for her.

The B-Board is all-virtual and not connected to a physical Salon, unlike many other social websites.  (The Black Hole salon is the closest thing to an official Zero hangout.)  Sam is officially a persona non grata to the Corporate world for publishing their secrets, but on some level, she’s also a tool for them.  Her reports might destroy one Corporation, thus benefiting several others.  Also, all the Suits kinda hope to someday be famous or infamous enough to end up on the B-Board.  It’s a status symbol for that clique as well. 

Sam, herself along with her editors, stringers, and reporters, are all deeply undercover.  If you need to physically meet her to pass something along, she’ll give you the time and place.  Samantha’s well connected enough in the Shadows and in the Corporate world that she should never really fear arrest or attack, but she has to keep up appearances.  Speaking of which, every so often, Sam will show up at a public event perhaps with an escort, just to give the gossip sites something to chat about.  She’s also one of the most beautiful, and eligible, celebrities in Corp-America.  

HD 7 (d6), Hp 22, AC 11 (none, +1 Dex bonus)

Fort +2, Ref +3, Wis +7

Melee: You’re kidding right?

Ranged: No, none of that either.

(Sam never goes anywhere without a security escort of Urban Rangers and others, some in plain sight, some hidden.  Who knows, maybe your Crew might get a call?)

Skills

Hacking +1 (She doesn’t even have a Data Jack)

Intimidate (Psychologically) +8

Charm +8 (Her Cha Bonus is +5, by the way, thanks to some really good, magically enhanced cosmetic surgery and natural good looks)

Knowledge (virtually anything) +6 off the top of her head (DC 12 general, DC 18 exact), but she can find out anything non-secret in a turn, DC 18 to find out a secret in one day, if it can be found out.

In spite of the Bard tag, Sam can’t sing or play an instrument, but she can certainly Charm people in person and Rally them via her website.

Little Man Nate the Gnome Artificer/Engineer. 
Nate specializes in enchanting mechanical and cyber devices.  He’s unpleasant and expensive, but he’s the best.  His workshop and large estate are well protected by various custom defensive devices.  Don’t even bother trying to hack his system, you might get something magical coming at you over the Net.  Nate’s pretty paranoid, even for a Gnome who’s survived the Extinction event.  He will leave his estate for an interesting magical find, and he’ll need some escort for the trip (ahem, characters).  Like most Gnomes, he deeply despises any Humanoid.  Just a warning for any Half-Orcs in the group.   

He can permanently enchant weapons for 5 XP.  Nate’s also your source for magical knowledge and item identification.  He’ll do the minor stuff in return for running an errand for him.  Being nearly a shut-in, he always has stuff that he needs done. 

HD 7 (d6), Hp 28, AC 16 (+4 Magic Shirt-Faithful, +2 Dex bonus)

Fort +6, Ref +6, Will +4

Melee: +2 Magic Dagger (Hurt) +10 to hit, 1d4+3 + Full Humanoids must make a DC 12 Fort Sv or die, everyone else KO 1 turn

Ranged: +2 Magic Repeating Crossbow (Remember) +10 to hit, 1d8+2 + Full Humanoids must make a DC 12 Fort Sv or die, everyone else KO 1 turn, 6 shots, S

(Yes, he’s very Old School.)

Software +6

Hardware/Artifice (enchanting) +8, This guy can basically craft anything given time and materials.  Only roll if working on some item in the field. 

Identify +6 if in a rush, can eventually identify any magical item in a day.

Gargoyle

Nate maintains several statue guards at his estate.  They will raise an alarm and attack any intruders.  Any attack on Nate there will bring them within 2 rds.  He has been known to lend them out to help with various errands.  All of the Gargoyles are permanently telepathically bonded to Nate and only accept his orders.

HD 4 (d8+19), Hp 37, AC 16* (Only vulnerable to magic, plasma, lasers)

Fort +5, Ref +6, Will +4

Melee: Up to 3 att/rd, +6 to hit, 2 Claws, 1d4+2 and Bite +4 to hit, 1d6+1

Or Gore Charge +4 melee 2d6+1 + Stun 1 rd

Freeze in statue form, does have a magical aura

CYBER-PULP FANTASY CORE-NPC Associates

CYBER-PULP FANTASY CORE

© Jerry Harris 2013

Published here as Open Game Content.

(This link will take you to the Fantasy Core Index.)

Overview Index 

NPC's and Monsters Index

These are NPC’s your characters know or have heard of.  They’re sources for information and jobs.

Jim the Butcher

A Butcher is a doctor in the Shadow World, who’s lost their legitimate license and has to practice outside the law.  This can be for various reasons, not necessarily malpractice or for performing illegal, experimental procedures (but it’s not a bad bet).  Jim, a Human, won’t give you his backstory.  He did your group’s Implants and is your source for Regen Patches.  He also has a lot of medical and implant knowledge along with a bunch of contacts in the industry.  You’d best treat him well and make sure he’s protected.   

His practice offices are well hidden (as another business) and require the right contact phrases to enter.  Inside there are several thugs who double as nurses, not to mention there’s likely to be a former patient or two around, badasses with implants.  Seemingly everyone, including the characters, owe this guy favors, but he’s always helpful to those in need and will leave the office to do so.

HD 7 (d6), Hp 21, AC 14 (None), Enhanced Init +4

Fort +2, Ref +6, Will +9

Melee: Won’t fight generally, +3 to hit

Ranged: Won’t fight generally, +7 to hit

Teleportation Amulet: Good for one trip a day to a pre-designated location, his safe house.  Requires a code phrase to activate.

Mazzy the Halfling Web Gypsy

The Romany occupy an essential niche in the Shadows.  They are the premier underground information dealers.  The Web Gypsies seldom get their own hands dirty gathering or stealing data, but broker deals for those who do.  However, their software and hardware skills are formidable.  As highly mobile tribes of Zeros, the Gypsies are almost untraceable.  Unlike their disreputable ancestors, the cyber-Romany are far more trustworthy than anyone else in the Shadows.  Their honor is ironclad, and they can back it up against anyone who offends or crosses the tribe with their still potent mystical cursing ability.  Of course, nowadays they can text, tweet, or e-mail their ill tidings (Subject: “Hi, you’ve been cursed!!!). 

Mazzy is the group’s initial contact with the Gypsies.  She’s a happy, free spirit, a refreshing change of pace in the Shadow World.  For a reasonable price or future favors, Mazzy is more than willing to run down any information the group needs, where to go to get certain equipment, and where to find certain people.  All the group knows about her personally is that she’s not Romany by birth, and that she was a soldier in the Last War.  The tale is that she was on the run after being Blacked Out and did a favor for the Hopeless Romantics tribe, who took her in.  Mazzy is more combat capable than the average Web Gypsy, so she does take on field assignments.  

HD 5 (d6), Hp 20, AC 14 (None, +2 racial, +2 Dex Bonus)

Fort +5, Ref +6, Will +1

Melee: Shock Rapier (retractable blade) +5 to hit 1d6 + Stun 1 rd, 10 charges

Ranged: Assault Pistol 30 shot clip, S

+7 to hit 2d6 single shot

+7 to hit 2d6 x 1d2 burst (DC 12 Ref Sv ½ damage), 3 bullets

+2 to hit 2d6 x 1d2 spray, up to 3 adjacent targets (DC 12 Ref Sv ½ damage), 6 bullets

Hacking/Hardware +7

Spellcheck +7 (however, she only knows 2 spells)

Heal: DC 12, All hp damage, may cast 3 x day

Curse: Once per day (DC 18 to cast).  Will Sv DC 18 (this is a special case) Forbidden spell, Ceremony spell, requires a sympathetic personal object from the victim.  This spell is not cast without a mitigating cause, someone has done some type of harm or insult to the Romany.  The effects should be creative and fit the crime.  A gypsy witch may dispel it at will (good luck with that), otherwise it will require a paladin, err. . . priest (good luck with that too) or someone with similar powers to break the curse.

Other Skills

Charm +7

Stealth, Escape Artist, Pick Locks +6 

Detection (traps, ambushes), Find (Secret Doors and Items) +7 

(Unlike the rest of the Gypsies, Mazzy isn’t very good at dancing or singing.)

CYBER-PULP FANTASY CORE-Aliens

CYBER-PULP FANTASY CORE

© Jerry Harris 2013

Published here as Open Game Content.

(This link will take you to the Fantasy Core Index.)

Overview Index 

NPC's and Monsters Index

[Sorry, I forgot to mention that I was off Monday]

(Sure, why not throw in Space Aliens?)  Yes, this world has been visited throughout Humanity’s history by advanced beings from Outer Space.  These races have usually found little of interest here.  They take some samples, perhaps engage in some deity impersonation, but seldom stick around to make any worthwhile contributions.  This world is not even worth the minimal effort it would take them to conquer it. 

But these beings have left behind their technology, either from neglect or by accident.  Modern Humanity in the advanced nations has been able to decipher some it to their benefit.  They’ve kept it all secret of course, to maintain an advantage in a contentious world.  Carefully (and sometimes not so carefully) controlled discoveries have been put into wide release to see what private entrepreneurs would make of them. 

Technology has advanced and governments and certain powerful cabals have harnessed it to actually make contact with Alien cultures.  Forget for a moment, that these people had only the vaguest notion that there are a multitude of Alien races out there and no idea as to their disposition and motives.  Some are benign, some hostile, some allied with one another, some at war, mostly they are indifferent to primitive voices.  Those few who answered the calls, recognized an exploitable opportunity. 

Creepers

A race of insect-like Aliens has set up a secret hive on earth.  How these creatures arrived here is a mystery, though the WY Corp seems to have had something to do with it.  What they’re doing here is obvious: mealtime!  These bugs are ferocious, stealthy hunters, who paralyze their prey and bring them back to the hive for later consumption.  The stats listed here are for a Drone.  The Queen is much more impressive.

HD 3 (d10), Hp 28, AC 18 (Natural), Enhanced Init +4

Fort +3, Ref +4, Will +1

Melee: 3 att/rd, 2 Claws +7 to hit, 1d6+3 and Bite +7 to hit, 2d6 + DC 12 Fort Sv paralysis 1 turn

Ranged: Spit +7 to hit DC 12 Fort Sv paralysis 1 turn

Stealth +6, Burrowing and hiding are favored technique

Tremorsense, Blindsight

Dopplegangers

When the Duply Corp found and was able to decipher the use of an Alien communication device, they made contact with the Dopplegangers, a race of shapeshifters.  These creatures came down, met the company’s senior management, took their forms, and killed the originals, in short order.  A few employees have noticed a change in their behavior and not known what to make of it.  The Aliens are still in charge and using the company to further their goals on this planet, which are left up to you.     

HD 4d8+4, Hp 22, AC 15 (Natural), Enhanced Init +3

Fort +4, Ref +5, Will +6

Melee: Slam +5 to hit 1d6+1

Ranged: Energy Pulsar +7 to hit, Unlimited shots, DC 18 Int Check to figure its use if the person has seen it in action.

Stunner mode DC 12 Fort Sv or Knocked out 1 turn, Area effect 20’ DC 12 Fort Sv or Stunned 1 rd

Blaster mode 2d12 single shot, +3 to hit spray up to 4, 2d12 DC 12 Ref Sv ½ damage, may also be set to slow bore through metals

Disguise +9, Dopplegangers physically take another’s form.  They need to see and hear someone in person to do so.  It takes them only 1 rd to change form.  Their disguise will only drop if killed.  A True Seeing spell or some other magical sight device will see their true form, a pale, almost featureless humanoid.

Telepathic +6 (+4 Int, +2 HD)

DC 12 Sense Thoughts and Psychometry: These abilities are used to enhance their subterfuge.

Pod Plant

An Alien Creeping Vine infestation.  It’s another mystery how this got on this planet.  Whoever brought it here has unfortunately let it get out into the wild.  This plant produces blooms, which fire anaesthetic spores at living victims.  While they sleep, vines move in and destroy the brain of the victim and implant a pod in them.  The victim becomes a zombie of sorts, which protects the plant and tries to bring others to it.  A day later, the zombie wanders off and dies and another Pod Plant patch forms within 24 hours.  

HD 3 Per 20’ patch (d8), Hp 24, AC 12 (Natural)

Fort +3, Ref +0, Will +3

Melee: none, though vines can rise up and be a nuisance

Ranged: 2d6 blooms/patch, 1 Pollen Blast per bloom, Close Range, DC 12 Will Sv or unconscious 1 turn

Regeneration +3 hp/rd, unless attacked with fire, frost, magic, plasma, lasers, or energy.

Pod People

HD 2d12+3, Hp 16, AC 10 (none, unless they were wearing it when converted, in which case add it), always act last in rd.

Fort +0, Ref –1, Will +3

Melee: Slam +2 to hit 1d6+1

Swarm: +2 to hit, up to 4 may grapple the same opponent, +1 to hit per additional attacker, DC 12 + 1 per additional attacker Str Check or Escape Artist to break

Titans

A race of Space Giants.  They travel via teleportation tunnels.  A consortium of Corporations (including Corp-America) contacted them and have dealt with them in return for technology.  What the Titans are getting out of this deal is left up to you.  Regardless of intentions, these creatures are tremendously powerful.  They do seem limited to only a 1-hour stay on earth.

HD 14 (d8), Hp 112, AC 20 (Natural, none)

Fort +14, Ref +3, Will +6

Melee: Slam +14 to hit 1d4+9 or rock/heavy object +9 ranged (2d6+9)

Ranged: Chain Lightening 20 damage + Stun 1 rd + Knocked Down + Two secondary bolts 14 damage + Stun 1 rd, DC 12 Ref Sv ½ damage, they may use this attack once per encounter.

Immune to all mental and magical attacks

Levitate and Invisible (0 BAB to attack them, they may not attack while invisible) at will

Heal all damage and conditions for others, once per encounter

(Doubtless the Titans have very high technology, but they do not bring it with them, except as trade items.  They’re pretty potent in their native form anyway.)

Brain Lasher

(Borrowed from Mutant Future, who adapted it from the famous D&D creature.

***goblinoidgames.com/mutantfuture.html***)

Humanoid creature with a squid-like head.  The Brain Lashers are insufferably elitist Aliens, who think themselves superior to all other lifeforms.  (Other Aliens hate them too.)  This planet and its inhabitants finally piqued their interests when psychic powers began to manifest.  This interest usually takes the form of abductions and experiments.  They may be trying to figure out if Humanity will ever be a threat to them, thus necessitating extermination. 

The Brain Lashers are one group of Aliens who were definitely NOT invited to earth.  Corporations have been employing their own psychics as an Early Warning System against their spaceships’ intrusions and have been trying to actively combat them.

HD 9 (d8), Hp 36, AC 14 (Natural) Also have a personal Force Field that will absorb 20 points of physical damage.

Fort +3, Ref +3, Will +6

Melee: Will suck out the brains of unconscious or helpless opponents, takes 1d4 rds. 

Ranged: Energy Pulsar +7 to hit, Unlimited shots, DC 18 Int Check to figure its use if the person has seen it in action.

Stunner mode DC 12 Fort Sv or Knocked out 1 turn, Area effect 20’ DC 12 Fort Sv or Stunned 1 rd

Blaster mode 2d12 single shot, +3 to hit spray up to 4, 2d12 DC 12 Ref Sv ½ damage, may also be set to slow bore through metals

Telepathic +10 (+5 Int, +5 HD)

DC 18 Psychic Attack: DC 12 Will Sv out 1 turn.  Against a psychic, they are only stunned for 1 rd.

DC 18 Command: A Brain Lasher may takeover a victim, DC 12 Will Sv to resist, lasts for 5 rds.  The Brain Lasher must be concentrating for the entire time.  A psychic being controlled gets to save against it every rd.  Brain Lashers may use Command successfully once per Encounter.

Thralls: Anyone failing three consecutive Command attempts (not even necessarily on the same day) against a specific Brain Lasher, permanently enters into their service.  A Brain Lasher may keep up to 5 such servants.  This servitude need not be blatant either.  They may keep “sleeper” agents.  All Thralls are mentally linked to their Brain Lasher and will not fight their master or allow them to be harmed.  Only the death of the Brain Lasher frees them.

Daytona Qualifying 2-16-14

Conspiracy.  It’s a big word, filled with all sorts of bad connotations.  Did NASCAR conspire to put Austin Dillon and the return of the #3 car on the pole, just like they did last year with Danica?  Well, like I said, it’s a big word, and therefore it’s unlikely that the brain-trust that runs NASCAR knows what it means.  Then again, his image was already in the NASCAR logo bumper spot before winning the pole.  Hmmm. 

Actually I was happy to see the kid in the cowboy hat with the winning smile take it.  Unlike some Nationwide drivers who have enormous marketability but very little in accomplishments to back that up, Austin actually enters the Cup series with a decent pedigree.  Speaking of Danica, if the kid does well, look for him to unseat her as NASCAR’s darling.  Don’t worry Junior fans.  His place is secure.  You’ll get your, “Where’s Junior?” updates throughout the race, as usual.

I’m fully convinced that Richard Petty’s comments earlier in the week about Danica’s ability to win races, regards of how he really feels about the subject, were essentially a marketing promotion by NASCAR.  One, it reminded the fans that Danica was still driving in the series.  Two, it provided a pointless controversy for the fans and commentators to argue about to promote the race.  I think she’s got the equipment and the talent to back into a couple of race wins, you know, rain delay, fuel mileage, field-clearing wreck type wins.  And if she does win, I guarantee, she’ll make a spectacle and embarrass herself in short order afterward.  That’s the next phase of the Danica Experience, not to spoil it for everyone who wasn’t watching her other racing reality show, the IRL.

Where’s Daryl Waltrip?  He wasn’t doing the qualifying.  I don’t know if he was doing the Sprint Unlimited race.  Did he retire?  Quit?  Get fired?  Eh, who cares?  [Update: He was in emergency surgery.  My apologies and condolences.]  If Phil Parsons is taking his spot in the broadcast crew, he’s going to have to speak up some more.  It might also help to know who he is.  Michael Waltrip is still there unfortunately.  Racing isn’t like baseball.  A great race call isn’t going to make a bad race interesting.

I was kind of hoping for a little more discussion about the myriad of rules changes NASCAR made over the off-season.  I guess there was no point in talking about the new qualifying format, since it didn’t impact this race.  Given how boring the current format is, I guess new F1-style format is okay as I understand it (which I don’t, so little wonder I’m ambivalent).  I doubt anyone will be watching them either way.  There’s a new penalty structure for some infractions, which likely won’t dissuade anyone anyway.  There may be some new rule about wrecked cars going to the garage not being able to re-enter the race.

Then there’s the “Win and you’re in” new points structure.  It’s not much more complicated than that.  Win to get into the Chase, win to move on in the Chase, and then be the top finishing driver in the final race out of the final four.  I really wonder how this is going to work.  I know the fans want to see the drivers go for wins more than points racing.  I do too.  This format seems like too simplistic a reaction.  It will likely be taken advantage of, create a very controversial ending to the final race (perhaps by design), and will be heavily revised next season. 

Back to the qualifying, I would have had the Sprint Unlimited race on Fox and put the qualifying Fox Sports 1.  Given the fan voting format making the Unlimited something of a joke (with a big payday), I could live with missing it though. 

Two quick awards. 

Coolest car, rookie, Alex Bowman’s Dr. Pepper car.

Handsomest driver, again a rookie, Parker Kligerman.  Seriously, the guy looked like he walked out of Central Casting.  Here’s your female market focus NASCAR, and he’s got as many wins in Cup as Danica.   

Let’s go racin’ next weekend.