CYBER-PULP FANTASY CORE-Vampires

CYBER-PULP FANTASY CORE

© Jerry Harris 2013

Published here as Open Game Content.

(This link will take you to the Fantasy Core Index.)

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NPC's and Monsters Index

Vampires (created by V-Strain Gene Therapy)

Beatific, un-aging, immortal humans.  All they require is a daily drink of human blood.  They are indistinguishable from normal Humans.  Only a Detect Demonic presence spell could reveal them without making an actual physical attack upon them.

HD 7 (d12), Hp 84 (maxed out), AC 17* (Natural, only vulnerable to fire, magic, high energy/lasers/plasma, phosphorous tracer rds), Enhanced Init +4

Fort +9, Ref +9, Will +9

Melee: Punch +11 to hit, 1d6+4 + Energy Drain DC 12 Will Sv or lose 2d4 negative hp + Stun 1 rd.  On Natural 18 and up punch hits, DC 12 Fort Sv or Knock Out 1 turn.

Embrace: +11 to hit, Opponent is grappled, DC 18 Str Check (or Escape Artist Skill) to break.  Next rd, the Vampire drains 5 hp.  The next rd ½ total hp remaining (at least 5) are drained, then finally all remaining hp.  The Vampire and the victim are considered to be helpless while in the act, but the Vampire can break off contact at any time.  A missed Embrace attack means the Vampire cannot attack the next rd, which is why they generally use it on helpless opponents.

Ranged: Auto Pistol +11 to hit, 2d6, 15 shot clip, S

(Vampires dislike using weapons.  They don’t want to waste their victim’s blood.  They prefer cool-looking pistols or rapiers +11 to hit, 1d6+4.)

Infravision

Immortal as long as they feed daily (at least 5 hp worth of blood).  They will become desperate if somehow prevented from feeding.  Without feeding, they go into a state of stasis, requiring blood to be fed to them to come back to life.

Will regenerate all hp damage with 1 turn of rest, unless brought to 0 hp by one of their banes, in which case they are dead. They are immune to energy draining (negative hp) attacks. 

Vampires are afraid of fire, but no other traditional bane has any effect (daylight, running water, garlic, holy symbols, etc). 

Vampiric Powers

Trance-A Vampire can “zone out” for 1 rd and can completely process every sight, sound, smell detail in the area for that time.  For example, picking out someone in a crowd, finding a Secret Door in a room, or getting a code from watching someone enter a series of numbers on a keypad.  This may used once per turn.  The Vampire is functionally helpless in this state.

Bullet Time-A Vampire goes physically hyper and can take 3 actions in a rd. The downside is that they are physically helpless, but still conscious, for 1 rd immediately afterward.  They may not attack or defend themselves in that time. A Vampire may use this ability up to 4 times in a day.

Telepathic +8 (+4 Int, +4 HD)

(Note that all Vampires lack PK type psychic powers.  Thank God.)

DC 12 Sense Thoughts, Clairvoyance, Psychometry, Transmit Thoughts

(These powers would essentially be plot devices and probably not worth rolling for.)

DC 12 Illusion: A Vampire can cause an illusion to appear for 4 rds.  They must still concentrate to project the illusion for the entire time.  It is a DC 12 Will Sv to disbelieve.  If appearing before a group, only the one with the highest Will Sv rolls.  Must keep successfully rolling to use power for more rds.  Psychics are immune to this ability.

DC 18 Psychic Attack: DC 12 Will Sv or Knocked Out 1 turn.  Against a psychic, they are only stunned for 1 rd.

DC 18 Command/Charm/Insanity/Fear: A Vampire may inflict any of these conditions, DC 12 Will Sv to resist, lasts for 4 rds.  The Vampire must be concentrating for the entire time.  A psychic being controlled gets to save against it every rd.  This power is very taxing.  It can only be used successfully once per turn/encounter and requires 1 turn of rest afterward.

Thralls: Anyone failing three consecutive Command/Charm/Insanity/Fear attempts (not even necessarily on the same day) against a specific Vampire, permanently enters into their service.  A Vampire may keep up to 4 such servants.  This servitude need not be blatant either.  They may keep “sleeper” agents.  All Thralls are mentally linked to their Vampire and will not fight their master or allow them to be harmed, unless ordered.  Only the death of the Vampire frees them.  

CYBER-PULP FANTASY CORE-Vampire Clans and Werewolf Packs

CYBER-PULP FANTASY CORE

© Jerry Harris 2013

Published here as Open Game Content.

(This link will take you to the Fantasy Core Index.)

Overview Index 

NPC's and Monsters Index

[This was one of the “blind alleys” I mentioned in working on this game.  I don’t think these creatures are suitable as playable classes, but boy, would these guys be fun as villains.  Look at the Vampire clans and Werewolf packs as Corporate versions of the X-Men’s Hellfire Club.  Both view humans as their feeding stock, which is why they will fight each other and amongst themselves.  We’ll call this the “Underworld of Darkness” supplement for Cyber-Pulp Fantasy Core.]

Even in the future, there are still Vampires and Werewolves.  In the modern case though, they are created by a supernatural genetic therapy.  The treatment is actually quite an upgrade over the Old Ways demonic magic ceremony.  It’s less risky, easier to administer, and creates more even more powerful specimens.

Recipients of the V-Strain, Vampire treatment, aren’t rendered helpless in sunlight.  However, they do now sparkle.  (Ha ha, just kidding.)  The L-Strain treatment doesn’t require a full moon for a Werewolf to change form. The effect is essentially the same as the ceremony: demonic possession in return for immortality and power.  They can generally only by harmed by items not typically found at in the Wal-Mart Sporting Goods department (phosphor tracer rounds and silver bullets, etc).  Even without these limitations, both still prefer to work and feed in the dark, more for secrecy than by mandate. 

Vampires and Werewolves are only able to draw sustenance from human blood or flesh, taken from a living victim.  (Sorry, True Blood fans.)  Vampires must have a feeding of blood each day, or they will fall dormant.  Werewolves must hunt and kill at least once a month, or they will degenerate into their mere mortal form and require another gene therapy treatment.  The demon in their blood compels them into these acts. 

Most Vampires and Werewolves are cliques of wealthy elitists seeking literal immortality, who already saw the rest of their kind as cattle anyway.  Both groups have the power and influence to cover up their supernaturally induced feedings.  Certainly in modern society (and especially “20 minutes into the future”), it would be very hard to get away with serial murder without serious connections to oversee the media and the authorities. 

The demon-infused gene therapy has even gotten loose amongst thrill seekers, eco-terrorists, and celebrities. Horrifically, it has also been used on unwilling, unsuspecting victims.  Often used as “patsies” to cover up the crimes of the powerful.  Some clans and packs may even “Shanghai” or “press gang” promising-looking individuals to bolster their numbers.  A couple of demented scientists have even infected people as an experiment to perfect the gene therapy for their clients.  The procedure certainly isn’t easily, cheaply, or legally available or totally safe to use, but anywhere you’ve got the ritual and the formula (which can be found on the Net) and an amoral genetic scientist, you’ve got the potential for production.  

The more powerful Vampires and Werewolves will work together to keep the formula suppressed (to limit competition and to keep their cover).  Any of their kind found without a powerful benefactor or not belonging to a clan or pack will be murdered out of hand.  Thankfully, in a world of billions, these creatures only number in the hundreds. 

The modern Vampire and Werewolf, by and large, lives in Corp-America, where there is just enough lawlessness and elite privilege for them to get away with their lifestyle.  In other parts of the world, the Ancient Ones (created by the old ritual ceremony) rule from the shadows and have casually (and with disgust) destroyed any potential foreign invasion or homegrown competition.  Existing for a few centuries does allow one to build up a vast, subservient legacy network to enforce the Ancient One’s rule.  Perhaps they are not quite as physically powerful as the new breed, but they make up for it in brains and magical abilities.  The modern creature of the night is unlikely to have any magical skills, though they might own a magic item as a curiosity.

Given groups of powerful individuals with superhuman abilities and inhuman appetites, there are going to be conflicts.  Vampires have formed clans, and Werewolves, packs, for mutual protection against the other and their own kind.  These creatures are apex predators, though in generally different environments (Vampires-urban, Werewolves-rural).  This is only because they jealously guard their territories against each other’s incursions.  This is the root of their conflict.  They want to remove the other as competition for the livestock and hunt where they wish.  Different groups mark their territories, but annexations and turf wars happen.  Within the clans and packs there are codes of conduct, so as not to overly expose their groups.  Violating these codes is a death sentence. 

To this point, only humans can be turned (or sired) by the V-Strain or the L-Strain gene therapy.  It is lethal to other races.  Not to say that Elves, Dwarves, and Humanoids haven’t tried to develop their own similar strains.  Problems involving these supernatural creatures, however, are all considered to be a human-only problem, though the death of a prominent Elf or the massacre of a group of Humanoids would certainly have community fallout.  The highest level of Vampire and Werewolf leadership actually see themselves as the “protectors” of Humans against the other races and will actively move to thwart any anti-Human plot they know of.  (Of course this is mostly for feeding reasons, but there is some genuine racism mixed in.)

While both Vampires and Werewolves are demonically possessed creatures who feed on humans, there are important differences in attitude.  While smart and cunning, Werewolves are ultimately driven to kill to maintain their abilities.  Any negotiation with these creatures must be completely in their interests, but will more than likely be futile.  A Werewolf fears little to nothing in terms of a show of force.  A Vampire does not have to kill to maintain their immortal existence.  While powerful, they are more addicts than masters, due to their daily need for blood.  Most will, quite cravenly, take an easy, willing feeding in exchange for services or to avoid a fight.

CYBER-PULP FANTASY CORE-Anthro-Humanoids

CYBER-PULP FANTASY CORE

© Jerry Harris 2013

Published here as Open Game Content.

(This link will take you to the Fantasy Core Index.)

Overview Index 

NPC's and Monsters Index

These are groups of intelligent beings not attached to the Movement.

Rakshasa (or Raks or Cat-men)

The race of Cat-men.  While they are all fierce warriors, some quite enjoy the company of Humanity.  They are quite quick-witted and intelligent.  Many work as security or in the sports/entertainment industry outside of their homeland, Kzin.  Either way, they seem to enjoy being the center of attention.    

HD 7 (d8), Hp 28, AC 15 (Natural, none, interferes with their reflexes),

+3 Enhanced Init

Fort +8, Ref +7, Will +6

Melee: 2 att/rd, Claw +8 melee (1d4+1)

or Shock Wand +8 to hit, DC 12 Fort Sv or KO 1 turn, 10 charges

Ranged: 1 att/rd, +5 to hit 

Stun Gun DC 12 Fort Sv KO 1 turn, C, 10 shots

Sawed Off Shotgun 2d10, spray up to two adjacent (DC 12 Ref Sv 1/2 damage) 2 shells, C (Raks’ large fingers and hands make firing standard guns difficult.  They’d rather brawl anyway.)  

Infravision

Centaurs

Half-Human, half-horse, and they are so rare, they are considered mythical.  Their true origins are lost to time, and they are considered to be long extinct.  Intensely private creatures they live in very isolated communities.  A select few do rent themselves out as private security (normally in rural areas) to earn funds for their herd.  They are very intelligent, but other than that, no one knows anything about their lifestyle or race.         

HD 4d8+8, Hp 26, AC 14 (Natural, none)

Fort +3, Ref +6, Will +5

Melee: +7 to hit, Shock Lance 1d8+7 or Shock mode DC 12 Fort Sv or KO 1 turn, Reach weapon, Charge attack causes max damage

Ranged, Assault Rifle 30 rd clip, M

+5 to hit 2d8 single shot

+5 to hit 2d8 x 1d2 burst (DC 12 Ref Sv ½ damage), 3 bullets

+2 to hit 2d8 x 1d2 spray, up to 3 adjacent targets (DC 12 Ref Sv ½ damage), 6 bullets

  

Primitive Anthro-Humanoids

(Including Ape-men, Lizardmen, Grimlocks, Gillmen/Sahuagin, Mermen/Mermaids, and any other of such type)

These creatures live in highly isolated environments and typically shun contact with outsiders.  While living a pre-historic like existence, they are not stupid.  They’ll trade and converse if properly approached (they all speak a pidgin form of the nearest Common tongue), attack if threatened and have an overwhelming advantage, and they’ll flee if clearly overmatched.  These stats are only for typical warrior types.

HD 3 (d8), Hp 15, AC 14 (+2 Dex Bonus, +2 Natural or worn Skins)

Fort Sv +4, Ref Sv +3, Will +1

Melee: Club +4 to hit, 1d6+1, Spear +4 to hit 1d6+1 Reach weapon

Ranged: Bow/Crossbow 1d6, Net (for capture) DC 12 Ref Sv or Escape Artist skill to get loose.

Stealth +4

Notes: Ape-men usually live in jungle tree villages.  Lizardmen in swamp mounds.  Grimlocks live in caves.  They also have the Blindsight ability, but are vulnerable to loud noises.  Gillmen and Mermen live in underwater caves, just offshore and can only leave the saltwater for up to an hour.  (The Mer race does not have a fish tail, but rather long, webbed feet.  Their swimming action makes their legs look like a tail.)  Gillmen are actually fairly aggressive and will raid coastal settlements to capture inhabitants for food.  Mermaids are strikingly good looking (Charm +6) and love seducing surface dwellers.  (And the Mermen are jealous as hell.)      

Dolphins

Very intelligent sea dwelling creatures.  Friends with the Mermen/maids (perhaps a little too friendly).  Natural enemies of the Gillmen.  Dolphins are recognized as a civilized species by Humanity and can speak Common tongues via telepathy.  However, for the most part, they just want to swim around and screw, so there’s not a lot of useful interaction between the species.  A few do volunteer or are recruited to go to the surface world and are kept special environments there.  Some are representatives and advocates for Dolphin rights.  Others are able to use their telepathic skills to make a living in various careers.  These are the adventurous and friendly ones, who enjoy dealing with other species.  

 

HD 3 (d8), Hp 16, AC 15 (Natural)

Fort +4, Ref +5, Will +2

Melee: Ram +4 to hit, 2d6+4

Telepathic +4 (+2 Int, +2 HD)

DC 12 Sense Thoughts, Clairvoyance, Psychometry, Transmit Thoughts

(These powers would essentially be plot devices and probably not worth rolling for.)

Dolphins do have the capacity to be outfitted with various Artificial Implants, such as Memory Implants and Crypt Keys, as long as they’re waterproofed.

CYBER-PULP FANTASY CORE-Kobolds, Gnolls, and Trolls

CYBER-PULP FANTASY CORE

© Jerry Harris 2013

Published here as Open Game Content.

(This link will take you to the Fantasy Core Index.)

Overview Index 

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Kobold Sapper

Savage little reptilian creatures from primitive areas brought into the Movement by coercion or bribery (food).  Kobolds are usually brought in by the tribe.  They’re just intelligent enough to follow simple orders.  They’re quite useful for infiltration through small places. 

HD 1 (d8), Hp 4, AC 12 (None, +2 Dex bonus)

Fort Sv +2, Ref Sv +2, Will -1

Melee: Dagger +1 to hit, 1d4

Swarm: Up to 8 Kobolds may attack a single man-sized person.  Roll +5 to hit for the whole mob, roll once for damage then multiply by 4.

Ranged: None, Kobolds can’t be trusted with firearms

Stealth +4, Kobolds are often used as mules to sneak explosives into sensitive places.

Infravision

Gnoll Warrior

Cadres of tightly knit Gnolls have joined the Movement.  They tend to be badly educated, even for Humanoids, but are often tactically smarter than their Orc leaders.  Think of them as perhaps “Noble Savages,” except they have a habit eating killed Humans and Elves, raw.  Gnoll squads are usually somewhat autonomous in combat operations.  They are well disciplined and highly effective.  They know where and when to attack and, unlike Orcs, they know when to retreat.  Only their relatively small population numbers and their general disdain for Orc leadership keeps them from taking over the Movement.  (Orc leaders have been known to find ways of killing off Gnoll units who have flouted their authority too often.)    

HD 3 (d8), Hp 18, AC 11 (None, +1 Dex bonus)

Fort Sv +5, Ref Sv +2, Will +1

Melee: Short Sword +6 to hit, 1d6+3

Barbed Whip +4 to hit, 1d4, Knock Down/Disarm opponent on hits of Natural 16 and up, Reach 5’

Ranged: Assault Rifle 30 rd clip, M

+4 to hit 2d8 Single Shot

+4 to hit, 2d8 x 1d2 burst (DC 12 Ref Sv 1/2 damage), 3 bullets

+1 to hit, 2d8 x 1d2 spray, up to 3 adjacent targets (DC 12 Ref Sv ½ damage), 6 bullets

Infravision

Troll Champion

Throwbacks to far earlier time, Trolls are a created race and nearly immortal with their regenerative abilities.  Hibernating Trolls have been found in underground caches around the world.  The Humanoids have actively searched for them.  Very simple-minded, they can be trained in minor tasks by whoever feeds them.  Being valuable assets, they are only risked in major Ops, or to rescue incarcerated Movement leaders.

HD 6 (d8), Hp 63, AC 14 (Natural)

Fort Sv +11, Ref Sv +4, Will +3

Melee: 3 att/rd, 2 Claws +9 to hit, 1d6+6 and Bite +4 to hit 1d6+3

Ranged: None, not smart enough

Regeneration: 3 hp/rd from up to –10 hp, only fire (which they will run from), energy (lasers, plasma), acid, and magic damage is permanent (does not regenerate or heal).

Die Hard: May act normally up to –10 hp, however Trolls will not regenerate at 0 or less hp unless they rest for 1 turn.  (So they may be playing dead at 0 hp.)

Infravision

Stealth +6

Infravision

CYBER-PULP FANTASY CORE-Goblins

CYBER-PULP FANTASY CORE

© Jerry Harris 2013

Published here as Open Game Content.

(This link will take you to the Fantasy Core Index.)

Overview Index 

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Goblin Bomber

Small, generally excitable Humanoids.  Some are very enthusiastic about the Movement, others are pressed into service via bullying, drugs, or brainwashing.  Either way, Goblins can only usually be used as troops if supervised by strong, violent leadership.  They panic too easily in the face of determined resistance or attack, only having confidence if they have overwhelming numbers or are facing a weakened foe.  Goblin troops will turn on their leaders or surrender outright if put in a difficult spot. 

They are typically used to hold abandoned objectives, to make diversionary attacks, or as massed suicide bombers (drugged of course).  Goblins are considered completely expendable in operations.  Orc leaders will have no compunction about shooting a couple to get the rest motivated.  They are only part of the Radical Movement because they are the most numerous of the major Humanoid races.

HD 1 (d8), Hp 4, AC 11 (None, +1 Dex bonus)

Fort Sv +2, Ref Sv +1, Will -1

Melee: Dagger +1 to hit, 1d4

Ranged: Assault Pistol, 30 shot clip, S (never fires single shots)

+2 to hit, 2d6 x 1d2 burst (DC 12 Ref Sv ½ damage), 3 bullets

Suicide Packages

Implanted Bomb: Small hidden explosive. 1d4 x 10 damage, 20’ radius, DC 12 Ref Sv ½ damage.  Takes 1 rd to arm, may be remote detonated

Implanted EMP: One shot, knocks out all electronics in 50’ area.

Implanted Poison Sac: Exhales nerve gas from hidden internal bag attached to lungs.  Can spread gas for 1 turn.  Must be activated to start dispersal.  DC 12 Fort Sv or unconscious and 0 hp, will die in 1 + Con Bonus turns unless given magical healing or antidote.  (Goblin is inoculated, but usually dies immediately afterward anyway or has an implanted bomb.)

Implanted Disease Carrier (Typhoid Mary): Spreads a disease.  Goblin is either immune or will die themselves from it within a day.  May target anyone or only specific races.  Typically starts to cause symptoms within an hour.  DC 12 Fort Sv afterward or unconscious and at 0 hp, will die in 1 + Con Bonus days unless given a treatment.  Those infected will become carriers themselves.

Infravision

Bugbear Infiltrator

Large, hirsute Goblins.  They are well known for their natural Stealth abilities.  Bugbears are also well known for being very autistic.  Many even lack the ability to speak.  Their mental development is such that they can only follow simple orders.  Highly conspicuous in daylight, Bugbears are mostly used at night, and given very specific tasks in Stealth Ops.  Unfortunately, they do have a habit of neglecting their duties, becoming easily distracted, and killing the wrong people (even allies).  They are not trusted with automatic weapons.   

HD 3 (d8), Hp 16, AC 14 (Natural, None)

Fort Sv +2, Ref Sv +4, Will +1

Melee: Large Truncheon +5 to hit, 1d8+2, on Natural 16 and up hits, DC 12 Fort Sv or KO 1 turn

Ranged: Auto Pistol (with silencer) +2 to hit, 2d6, 15 shot, C (because of silencer)

Rifle (with silencer and scope) +2 to hit, 2d8, 5 shot clip, S (because of silencer)

Sniper: Must have cover and spend 1 rd targeting, using rifle and scope. Target does not get cover bonus.  Must roll successful Stealth roll (DC 12 if under dense cover, DC 18 if exposed or target is alert) and attack roll.  A hit causes maximum damage.  A failed stealth roll, but a successful attack, means that the sniper has to roll for the damage, and that they are spotted.

Stealth +6

Infravision

CYBER-PULP FANTASY CORE-Orcs

CYBER-PULP FANTASY CORE

© Jerry Harris 2013

Published here as Open Game Content.

(This link will take you to the Fantasy Core Index.)

Overview Index 

NPC's and Monsters Index

Orc Raider

Orcs are usually the leaders of any terrorist cell and the brains of the operation.  This means that they’re badly lead.  Orcs plan once and never seem to adapt to changing circumstances well.  They are smart enough to make trouble, but not smart enough to get themselves out of it.  Orcs rule through fear and intimidation and having a slightly higher intelligence than other Humanoids.  They tend to react badly to anyone smarter or stronger than themselves, and will seek to undermine them.

HD 2 (d8), Hp 10, AC 10 (None)

Fort Sv +4, Ref Sv +0, Will +0

Melee: Combat Knife +3 to hit, 1d6+1

Ranged: Assault Rifle, 30 rd clip, M

+2 to hit, 2d8 single shot

+2 to hit, 2d8 x 1d2 burst (DC 12 Ref Sv 1/2 damage), 3 bullets

+0 to hit, 2d8 x 1d2 spray, up to 3 adjacent targets (DC 12 Ref Sv ½ damage), 6 bullets

RPG +2 to hit, 1d4 x 10 (DC 12 Ref Sv to 1/2 damage), 20’ area

Infravision

Half-Orc Operative

While bigger, stronger, and smarter than the average Orc, Half-Orcs are generally excluded from the Radical Movement out of sheer Orc jealousy.  Half-Orcs favoring the Movement, usually have to do so via law and politics.  A few, showing proper submission to Orc leadership, are brought in as a Radical if they are highly placed in targeted organizations.  These are Sleeper Cell agents.  When called upon, they can steal sensitive and classified materials and prototypes. These traitors can cripple defenses and stifle responses from within in conjunction with an attack.  They can even act as a Fifth Column to attack from the rear or against defenseless civilians as a distraction.     

HD 2 (d12), Hp 14, AC 12 (none, +2 racial bonus)

Fort Sv +4, Ref Sv +0, Will +0

Melee: Dagger +3 to hit, 1d4+1

Ranged: Auto Pistol +2 to hit, 2d6, 15 shot, S

Frenzy: On a Naturally rolled hit (hits without any modifiers), may make an additional attack at 0 BAB (+1 to hit in melee, +0 ranged)

Infravision

Regeneration: Adds +2 hp to rest recovery

May have Hacking and Hardware skills +2

Note: Open combat is generally not the specialty of an Operative, though they are certainly capable.  If expecting combat, they will likely have heavier arms.

Ogre Brute

Large, mutant Orcs.  Unfortunately, the inbreeding necessary to produce an Ogre, usually produces a nearly retarded specimen.  They only live to about 15, so they are also highly immature in behavior.  They are often used as moving bulletshields in terrorist raids, or as nearly non-stoppable suicide bombers.

HD 4 (d8), Hp 32 (maxed out), AC 15 (Natural and +2 Riot Shield)

Fort Sv +6, Ref Sv +0, Will +1

Melee: Steel Cane +8 to hit, 1d12+7, Reach weapon 7’

Ranged: Large Heavy Object (whatever is available) +1 to hit, 1d8+5, Ogres aren’t to be trusted with firearms.

Large Suicide Bomb: 1d6 x10 damage, 40’ area, DC 18 Ref Sv ½ damage, takes 1 rd to arm, typically used against buildings, hardened targets, and vehicles.

Infravision

Sports Journal 2-3-14

The Broncos lost because they were wearing their old orange tops.  The franchise lost four Superbowls in those colors and didn’t win until they changed them, as part of their threat to leave Denver if the city didn’t build them a new stadium.  I don’t have any more detailed analysis than that, I wasn’t really watching.  (Translation: I didn’t have any money on it.)  Of course, even Seahawk fans weren’t watching by the end.  They were out scoring more pot for their victory celebration.  Broncos fans were doing the same, but to console themselves.  The rest of the country just had to settle for getting drunk. 

The NFL and various media outlets have been congratulating themselves on putting on a great “event,” much like how Mother Nature congratulates herself after a hurricane and other such disasters.  Now, now, the NFL can’t engineer a great game (wink, wink) or pre-determine an outcome (rolls eyes), they can only set the stage. . . so that a 9-11 Truther could crash it during the MVP presentation.  I’m sure that wasn’t planned.  (You can either read sarcasm or criticism into that statement.)  Speaking of Mother Nature, I would have watched the Frostbite Bowl if that had happened.  Much like the Broncos however, she didn’t show up either. 

I’d like to issue special congratulations to Seattle coach, Pete Carroll.  This man lead USC to a National Championship.  Then when allegations of NCAA rules infractions came up, he bolted to the NFL.  USC got hit with sanctions and was stripped of their title.  Pete then goes on to lead the Seahawks to a Superbowl.  It’s like a fairy tale.

Fox clearly made a mistake in assuming the game would carry the night for them.  Usually networks put on a special episode or heavily promote the premier of a new show immediately following afterward, just to keep the audience around in case the game sucked.  I was pleased that things finished up before Dowton Abbey came on.  Thank goodness the hockey game was good that morning, so at least I got to see some athletic competition.        

In other sports news this weekend, I wasn’t sure what to expect from the “Red Bull Frozen Rush” race.  Red Bull used to produce an energy drink.  Now, I think they just sponsor extreme sports and stunts.  Someday we can look forward to the Red Bull Extreme Olympics where every event will have high speed and sub-orbital drops added to them.  (I’m not sure if I’m being sarcastic or not.  I loathe the Olympics.  Anything might improve them as far as I’m concerned.) 

In this case, the sport/stunt featured off-road racing trucks running a downhill ski slope in the snow.  There was a jump, hard, sliding turns, and even a slalom through a set of gates.  Novel.  Certainly the event gained instant credibility with me by inviting a bunch of good drivers from the CORR series. 

The race format had more in common with rally racing than a typical short course off-road race.  One car was released, then another several seconds later.  The best time moves on to the next round.  It’s unfortunate that the trucks couldn’t race against each other directly.  The large rooster tails of snow made things a little too extreme for that apparently.  It seemed unnecessary distraction for the audience to have two trucks on track at the same time on a split screen, like they thought it wasn’t interesting enough with just one truck. 

Given that only one of the drivers had any experience racing in the snow, they did a pretty good job.  Some of them seemed a little cold, but they were all having a good time.  A couple of them made sure to thank the fans there for standing out in the cold to watch them.  The spiked tires held the trucks to the course, even at high speed, though they did unexpectedly shred the fenders after jumps.

NBC Sports didn’t seem to have much confidence in this first time event.  One, it was on during the Superbowl pre-game.  Granted it’s a horrible, unbearably long show that can be safely ignored (especially after two weeks of hype), but presumably it dominates the ratings anyway.  Two, the amount of padding between heat races was as extreme as the racing.  Then the commercial breaks became almost NASCAR-ish in constant irritation. 

A very British and out-of-place sounding Leigh Diffey worked the race call with a more familiar to truck racing, Cameron Steele.  The lack of F1 cars did not seem to faze Diffey at all though.  Of course the highlight of the race for me was (wait for it), yes, lots of Kelli Stavast talking to the heat winners.  She looked so cute bundled up and was clearly having a good time too. 

Overall, the format needs some twerking.  No, not twerking, tweaking!  What was I thinking there?  The winner was decided on a penalty, rather than just racing.  (Though so was the last CORR championship race.)  However, it was pretty good.  Let’s do it again sometime.