Southland: Argyle Diamond Mine

THE SOUTHLAND

A Fantasy Core Setting

© Jerry Harris 2014

Published here as Open Game Content.

(This link will take you to the Fantasy Core Index.)

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Humanoid Lands Index

Argyle Diamond Mine

[Something of a stripped mountain.  Again, there’s a big dungeon inside it, dominated by a large central tunnel.]

Seven Sisters Myth: The Sisters found a mighty Wizard burning himself trying to dig diamonds out of an erupting volcano.  They offered to help him in return for helping them escape.  All of their magic managed to silence the mountain, and they dug out a pile of diamonds.  The Wizard thanked the Sisters, grabbed the prettiest one, and disappeared with her.      

Goblins are like cockroaches.  They’re everywhere and can’t be permanently eliminated.  The largest concentration of them is at the Argyle Diamond Mine.  Not only a valuable deposit, Argyle is the only known source in the Commonwealth of rare Pink Diamonds.  The gems are retrieved from a very large volcanic pipe (thankfully, not active.)  While they are not very effective fighters, the Goblins are well entrenched in the Argyle and very numerous.  They seemingly can’t be flushed out, hampering all efforts at mining.

Goblins are organized into a multitude of tribes are each lead by their own Chief.  They are unable to use magic, but, unlike Orcs and Hobgoblins, Goblins are able to keep animal mounts (without eating them immediately).  Goblins are omnivores.  While preferring meat, they’ll eat anything organic, short of feces.  (The Argyle Goblins seem to be living off vermin, mushrooms, lichen, and likely their own dead.)  They eat constantly and have few thoughts beyond their next meal.  Goblins can replicate once every two weeks.  New Goblins mature in about a month.

Tribes don't fight internally.  Tribes tend to only have mock fights between themselves, but they don’t work together well regardless, since they’ll end up fighting over the all-important food supply.  Generally, the stronger tribe simply bullies out the weaker one.  Goblins will fight other species only if they have a tremendous advantage and a big, possible gain, or are protecting something they deem valuable.  Mostly they are either enslaved or bullied by the larger Humanoid races. 

Generally weak fighters and not very smart, Goblins will relent from stubborn resistance or after serious losses.  They won't even attack superior foes by themselves without powerful leadership.  No use of tactics, they usually just attack en mass in a frontal assault in Mob units.  Ranged attack and cavalry are a disorganized afterthought.  They tend to sabotage their own plans through cowardice, inattention, over exuberance, and outright rebellion, unless closely and violently supervised. 

Goblin Soldier

HD 1, Hp 4, AC 15 (Leather, Light Wooden Shield)

Fort +2, Ref +2, Will –3

Melee: Club +1 to hit 1d6

Ranged: Javelin +3 to hit 1d4, S

Mounted troops

(Charge: Spear +1 to hit 1d8)

A near mindless creature in combat.  They attack if forced, otherwise, they’ll probably scatter.  Mounted Goblins are usually field scouts, though if they are planning a raid, they might be massed as a unit.  (The term “planning” is used in the loosest sense of word when applied to Goblins.) 

Goblin Captain

HD 2, Hp 8, AC 16 (Studded Leather, Light Wooden Shield)

Fort +3, Ref +2, Will -1

Melee: Morningstar +2 to hit 1d8

Ranged: Javelin +4 to hit 1d4, S

Not much better than the average Goblin, a little braver.

Goblin Mob

HD 5, Hp 40, AC 15 (Leather, Light Wooden Shield)

Fort +2, Ref +2, Will –3

Melee: Club +5 to hit 1d6+5

Grapple: +5 to hit, One DC 18 Str check or Escape Artist skill can be made to break loose.  A swarm or grapple attack may also be used to pull down a mounted rider. 

Mob: Must have at least 10 and be lead by a Captain.  Takes 1 rd to organize.  Will last until the Captain is killed or the group is reduced to 20 hp.  Called shot to take out Captain.

This is the Goblin’s preferred combat tactic.  Unfortunately, there’s usually plenty of Goblins available to create several Mobs.

Goblin Chief

HD 4+1, Hp 20, AC 17 (Chain Mail, Light Wooden Shield)

Fort +5, Ref +3, Will +1

Melee: Longsword +5 to hit 1d8+1

Goblins aren’t lead so much as pushed in the direction of food.  The Chief is the Goblin who is best at finding food for the tribe.  He tends to get bigger from eating more than the rest.

Bugbear (Mutant Goblin)

HD 3d8+3, Hp 16, AC 17 (Leather, Light Wooden Shield)

Fort +2, Ref +4, Will +1

Melee: Morningstar +5 to hit 1d8+2

Ranged: Javelin +3 to hit 1d6+2

Stealth +6

Much larger, mutant Goblins.  Naturally stealthy, very cruel and brutish.  Tend to be mute.  They seem clever, but are bent to only thinking about killing and eating.

Dire Kangaroo Mount

3d8+9 (22 hp) AC 13

Fort +6, Ref +4, Will +1

Melee: Doesn’t engage in melee unless they lose their rider

Hop at 20 mph with rider

Southland: Kalgoorlie Gold Mine

THE SOUTHLAND

A Fantasy Core Setting

© Jerry Harris 2014

Published here as Open Game Content.

(This link will take you to the Fantasy Core Index.)

Southland Index

Humanoid Lands Index

Kalgoorlie Gold Mine

[I’m sure you’re thinking what I’m thinking: a gigantic “Caves of Chaos.”  Well, that’s what I’m thinking at least.]

Seven Sisters Myth: The Sisters found a mad Wizard trying to dig up all of the gold in the land.  They offered to help him, if he would help them escape.  With all of their magic, they tunneled to the other side of the world, digging up all the gold.  The Wizard grabbed the prettiest Sister, ran down the tunnel, and collapsed it behind him.

There are a multitude of Orc clans in the Outback, each with their own King.  Most of the smaller clans are scavengers, moving into an area, depleting its resources, and then moving on.  They will also raid for substantial, potential material gain.  They are constantly sending out scout parties for potential opportunities.  A few large clans have made their permanent residence in the Kalgoorie area.  (They extensively hunt the wildlife in the surrounding area for food.)  Unfortunately, this is also the richest gold deposit on the continent.  They seem to be determined to hold the mines in the face of continuing colonial incursions.   

Orcs will fight anyone, including each other, if not especially.  Leadership is determined by direct challenge to the death.  The various clans are combative against one another for territory and resources.  They will work together if sufficiently threatened, though the big egos of the kings ensure it won’t be a lasting alliance.  Orcs are strictly carnivores, but they’re not picky about the quality of the meat or where it comes from.  Their fellow Orcs are the last option, but they aren’t shy about availing themselves of it if hungry enough.  They can replicate once a month, if well fed.  It takes about two months for a new Orc to mature.    

In a fight, Orcs leaders are quite stout and intelligent in tactics.  They will use ranged weapons, magic, and rushes to their advantage, and are capable of flanking and encircling maneuvers.  But they only plan once.  They tend to stick to the plan, regardless of results, as the leaders tend to overestimate their intelligence and underestimate their foes.   Worse, the leaders tend to be at the forefront of any battle, often ensuring their own quick deaths.    

While not fearless, leaderless Orcs tend to be undone in combat by their berserker nature.  Once they start fighting, they will keep fighting until victorious or until they can no longer fight as a unit.  They will take captives and accept surrender only if ordered (or stopped) by a powerful leader.  They tend to over-extend themselves in battle and be unable to hold what they take.     

Orc Soldier

HD 1+1, Hp 5 (9 Sgt), AC 14 (Leather, Light Wooden Shield)

Fort +3, Ref +0, Will –2

Melee: Short Sword +3 to hit 1d6+1

Ranged: Javelin +1 to hit 1d6

Your typical Orc is just bright enough to follow orders (if given harshly enough). Without strong leadership, Orcs tend to attack with reckless abandon when confronted.  Their joy in killing is actually greater than their appetite.  

Orc Officer

HD 3+1, Hp 15 (27 Cpt, Chieftain), AC 15 (Leather, Light Wooden Shield)

Fort +4, Ref +2, Will +1

Melee: Longsword +5 to hit 1d8+2

Ranged: Short Bow +4 to hit 1d6, M

Smaller clans will be lead by a Chieftain, while larger ones will have multiple Captains serving their King.  They are bigger and a bit smarter than the average Orc. 

Orc King

HD 5+1, Hp 45, AC 16 (Rough Hide, Light Wooden Shield)

Fort +5, Ref +3, Will +2

Melee: Battleaxe +7 to hit 1d8+2

The biggest, toughest, most disagreeable Orcs get to be King.  The moment they lose their subjects’ confidence, the challenges will come.  The King must be killed in single combat for another to take the title.

Orc Shaman

HD 3+1 (d6), Hp 12, AC 15 (Leather), Enhanced Init +3

Fort +1, Ref +4, Will +3

Melee: Dagger +1 to hit 1d4

Ranged: Short Bow +4 to hit 1d6, M

Spell Check +4, Save Against DC 14, up to 2 failed Spellchecks/encounter

DC 13 to cast

Magic Missile: 8 impact damage + Knocked down. (Ref Sv all damage) Short range.

DC 14 to cast

Acid Arrow: 8 acid damage + -1 to non-Dex bonus AC. (Ref Sv all damage) Short range.

Magic knowledge is passed down orally amongst Orcs with the casting ability, as they are all illiterate.  The focus is generally on combat spells. 

Ogre (Mutant Orc)

HD 4d8+11, Hp 29, AC 16 (Hide Armor)

Fort +6, Ref +0, Will +1

Melee: Greatclub +8 to hit 2d8+7

Ranged: Large Spear +1 to hit 1d12

Large, mutant Orcs with child-like intelligence, but very cheerfully cruel.  Natural bullies, but cowardly if seriously hurt or intimidated.

Southland: The Deep Dark Oozes

THE SOUTHLAND

A Fantasy Core Setting

© Jerry Harris 2014

Published here as Open Game Content.

(This link will take you to the Fantasy Core Index.)

Southland Index

Humanoid Lands Index

The Deep Dark Oozes

Along with the sub-human Grimlocks and Ghouls, there’s also a frightening collection of various dangerous slimes, oozes, molds, and killer mushrooms in the Deep Dark.  These strange substances are some sort alchemical creation gone wild.  Perhaps the Catastrophe altered them.  There’s probably some magical knowledge to be gained from them if properly studied, though none of them can survive outside of the Deep Dark environment.  

Green Slime

This flesh-eating slime covers damp surfaces all over the Deep Dark.  It automatically dissolves wood and organic items touching it in 2 rds.  Non-magical metal items are corroded on 3 rds.  In either case, it must be scraped or washed off immediately to avoid ruining the item.  On exposed flesh, it does 1d6 damage each rd until scraped or washed off.  Anything that deals cold or fire damage, sunlight, or a remove disease spell destroys a patch of green slime. It does not harm stone.

Yellow Mold

If disturbed, a 5-foot square of this mold bursts forth with a cloud of poisonous spores. All within 10 feet of the mold must make a DC 12 Fort Save or take 1d6 damage. Those failing will need to make a DC 18 Fort Save next rd or fall unconscious for 1 turn. Fire destroys Yellow Mold, and sunlight renders it dormant.  It is also found in damp areas.

Brown Mold  

Brown Mold feeds on warmth, drawing heat from anything around it. It normally comes in patches 5 feet in diameter, and the temperature is always cold in a 30-foot radius around it. Living creatures within 5 feet of it take 3d6 points of cold damage. Fire brought within 5 feet of brown mold causes it to instantly double in size. Cold damage, such as from a cone of cold, instantly destroys it. 

Grimlocks (immune to the cold) may be storing fresh bodies here, waiting to thaw them for later consumption.  

Phosphorescent Fungus 

This strange underground fungus grows in clumps that look almost like stunted shrubbery. It can be cultivated for food and light. It gives off a soft violet glow that illuminates underground caverns and passages as well as a candle does. Rare patches of fungus illuminate as well as a torch does.  Picked fungus will glow for up to six hours.

Violet Fungus (Giant Mushroom)

HD 2+6, Hp 15, AC 13 (Natural)

Fort +6, Ref –1, Will +0

Melee: 4 attacks/rd Tentacles +3 to hit  1d6+2 + Poison Spore Cloud DC 12 Fort Sv or Die.  Immediate effect is 0 hp and unconsciousness.  Death occurs in 1 + Con Bonus days.  

There are patches of large mushrooms in the Deep Dark.  Humanoids and humans alike find them to be delicacies.  (Even the strictly carnivore Humanoids will garnish meals with mushrooms, if they can.)  The patches of giant mutated mushrooms in the Deep Dark can fetch high prices in the outside world.  Unfortunately, mixed in with these mushrooms are some dangerous mutations.  

Violet Fungus mushrooms protect themselves with tentacles that spray poison spores on would-be harvesters.  They are differently colored than almost any other mushroom, as long as you’ve got enough light to see by.  If killed, the mushroom (toadstool) is still poisonous.  There are assassins who can brew Violet Fungus into potent poison applications.  

Shrieker (Giant Mushroom)

HD 2+2, Hp 11, AC 8 (Natural)

Fort +4, Ref —, Will –4

Melee: None

Ranged: If passing within 5’, DC 18 Stealth check or Shriek 1d3 rds DC 12 Fort Sv or stunned during Shriek.  It may shriek once per turn.

The only other mushroom that has the same color as Violet Fungus are the Shriekers.  Their defense mechanism only stuns victims.  Unfortunately, this will almost certainly draw Ghouls, Grimlocks, and any other hungry creature in the area.  For this reason, Shriekers may have treasure and gear lying around them.

Gray Ooze

HD 3 (d10), Hp 15, AC 10* (magic weapons strike as normal, wooden weapons dissolve on contact, metal weapons break on a 1 in 4 upon contact)

Fort +6, Ref –4, Will –4

Melee: Slam +3 to hit 1d6+1 + DC 12 Ref Sv or -1 to worn non-magical Armor (1d6 acid damage if not wearing armor)

Stealth: +5 Camouflage among stones

Bane: Will retreat from fire and magic attacks

Usually hides among wet stones.

Ochre Jelly

HD 6 (d10), Hp 40, AC 10* (magic weapons strike as normal, slashing weapons do no damage, but split the Jelly in half, each with half hp, up to 4 separate Jellies)

Fort +8, Ref –3, Will –3

Melee: Slam +5 to hit 2d4+3 + DC 12 Ref Sv or grappled -1 to worn non-magical Armor (1d6 acid damage if not wearing armor), next rd, automatic acid damage, until scraped off (1d4 damage to victim from scraping) 

Stealth +5 (Camouflage) Hanging from ceiling

Bane: Will retreat from fire and magic attacks

Often hangs from the ceiling in areas with other nasty slimes and such.

Black Pudding

HD 10 (d10), Hp 50, AC 10* (magic weapons strike as normal, any other type of weapon dissolves or breaks on contact)

Fort +9, Ref –2, Will –2

Melee: Slam +8 to hit 2d6+4 + DC 18 Ref Sv or -1 to worn non-magical Armor (2d6 acid damage if not wearing armor)

Ranged: Acid Spit +8 to hit 2d6 + DC 18 Ref Sv or -1 to worn non-magical Armor, S

Stealth +5 in darkness

Bane: Will retreat from fire and magic attacks

There are pools of this substance lying next to underground lakes and streams, mimicking the water.

Southland: The Deep Dark

THE SOUTHLAND

A Fantasy Core Setting

© Jerry Harris 2014

Published here as Open Game Content.

(This link will take you to the Fantasy Core Index.)

Southland Index

Humanoid Lands Index

The Deep Dark

[Why not stick another mega-dungeon underneath a mega-dungeon?  Okay, that might be a bit excessive, unless all of the characters can see in the dark.  Reserve a couple of the bottom levels of the Mount Connor dungeon for the Deep Dark.  This place is actually important to the setting.]

Seven Sisters Myth: Monsters chased the Sisters underground.  The Sisters found unspeakable things there.  The Sisters made creatures out of the slime and ooze they found and set them upon the monsters.  The girls escaped and the monsters have been tormented by their creations ever since. 

Little of the Ancient civilization exists above ground, but there were extensive underground areas built before and during the Civil War.  A few were deep enough that some Ancients were able to survive the Catastrophe.  Unfortunately, they were also effectively trapped, perhaps buried alive.  Those getting back to the surface were swarmed by man-eating Humanoids.  Only the survivors in the lowest levels of Atila were able to persevere and eek out a pitiful existence. 

Centuries later, these survivors are degenerate inbred, barely human creatures.  They are effectively blind from living underground so long, though their other senses compensate.  Explorers of the “Deep Dark” of Mount Connor have occasionally caught sight of these “Grimlocks” as they’ve been called.  Small, weak-looking groups of explorers are usually murdered and consumed.  The Grimlocks run away and hide from larger ones, usually caving in tunnels to seal themselves off from the intruders.  So far, no one has ever found any of their major living spaces or any of the Ancient knowledge and artifacts that they must surely possess, even if they have no idea how to use them.   

The Humanoids above occasionally patrol this place, but don’t stay.  Even they are somewhat afraid of it.  Adventurers have been chased out, terrorized.  No one really knows what’s down there.

Grimlock

HD 2d8+2, Hp 11, (18 hp sgt.), AC 15 (None)

Fort +1, Ref +4, Will +2

Melee: Stone Battleaxe +4 to hit 1d8+3

Stealth +5 underground

Blindsight: Grimlocks can sense all foes within 40 feet as a sighted creature would. Beyond that range, they treat all targets as having total concealment.

Grimlocks are susceptible to sound- and scent-based attacks, however, and are affected normally by loud noises and sonic spells and overpowering odors. Negating a Grimlock’s sense of smell or hearing blinds them, their “To hit” drops to +0.

Immunities: Grimlocks are immune to gaze attacks, visual effects, illusions, and other attack forms that rely on sight.

Worse, cannibal Grimlocks who die violently in this supernatural environment are liable to rise as undead man-eating creatures.

Ghoul

HD 2 (d12), Hp 13, AC 14 (Natural)

Fort +0, Ref +2, Will +5

Melee: Bite +2 to hit 1d6+1 plus DC 12 Fort Sv or paralysis 1 turn

Ghast

HD 4 (d12), Hp 29, AC 17 (Natural)

Fort +1, Ref +4, Will +6

Melee: Bite +5 to hit 1d8+3 and 2 claws +3 to hit 1d4+1 + (on any hit) DC 12 Fort Sv or paralysis 1 turn

Stench: When combat begins, the Ghast will start emitting a powerful stench.  Everyone at close range must make a DC 18 Fort Sv or be sickened (stunned) 2 rds.  Everyone in short range must make a DC 12 Fort Sv or be sickened (stunned) 1 rd.  This smell may also attract other Ghouls in the area.

Southland: Mount Connor

THE SOUTHLAND

A Fantasy Core Setting

© Jerry Harris 2014

Published here as Open Game Content.

(This link will take you to the Fantasy Core Index.)

Southland Index

Humanoid Lands Index

Mount Connor (Ancient-Atila)

[This area is essentially a place to drop in your favorite mega-dungeon.  Pretty much anything goes inside.  While very dangerous, there should be plenty of treasure and magical items within.  The characters should have some opportunity to find out that the various tribes inside are constantly at war with one another, and that this could be used to their advantage.]

Seven Sisters Myth: The Sisters sought shelter in a giant mountain where survivors from the war had gathered.  But once inside, all they found were monsters.  The Sisters cursed them to fight over the mountain forever and fled deeper underground.

The Ancients called this place Atila.  Whatever purpose it served before the Civil War, it became a giant survival bunker during it.  The hollowed out mesa was a mecca for refugees fleeing the conflict.  Attackers unsuccessfully besieged it throughout the war.  Unfortunately, it didn’t save them during the Catastrophe.  Atila would be emptied of human life. 

It was not, however, emptied of all life.  Various Humanoid tribes immediately moved in and began to war on one another for control of the massive “City in the Rock.”  Perhaps akin to their reverence for Ayers Rock and the Olgas (also in the area), the Humanoids have attached some very important cultural significance to it.  The dominant clan of the Rock attains some measure of prestige amongst the others.  At least the large presence of Humanoids and constant warfare ensures a steady food supply for the carnivorous inhabitants.

There are a multitude of entrances into the rock and at various levels.  Most of the unguarded ones have been buried in rockslides, but can be uncovered.  The interior is a maze of rooms and chambers.  This was originally a large living space, including farm and livestock areas with artificial sunlight, but it’s unknown what the original inhabitants were doing there.  It was clearly expanded for refugees during the war. 

A large, well-stocked and organized adventure company has a base camp outside of Mount Connor.  An aquifer has been struck in an attempt at starting a permanent outpost, Camp Connor.  They are constantly recruiting new members, offering a 50% cut of any treasure recovered.  So far, they have brought out an impressive amount of treasure and magical items from even limited incursions inside.  The large number of Humanoids there are fighting over the Rock itself, so the camp outside hasn’t received focused attention.  There are also enough high-level adventurers there to make it a prickly site to assault.  As long as they don’t try and hold territory inside, the Humanoids perhaps don’t care about their presence.   

Other created creatures have made their homes inside.  They may have migrated there or been there with the humans.  Some have made deals with various tribes, some are in hiding, even a few are strong enough to take on all comers.  (The Humanoids would dearly like those last creatures taken out by adventurers, perhaps by maneuvering them into conflict.)  One pervasive type of resident in the Rock is the so-called “Gelatinous Cube.”  These ravenous ooze-based creatures range all over the inside of Mount Connor, seeking organic matter to absorb (and there’s plenty of that).  The Humanoids have a curious reverence for the Cubes and never attack them, even leaving scraps of the dead out for them.

Gelatinous Cube

HD 4 (d10), Hp 20, AC 10 (Natural)

Fort +9, Ref –4, Will –4

Melee: Slam +4 to hit 1d6 + DC 12 Fort Sv or Stun 1 Turn, stunned victims are then Engulfed the next rd and absorbed within 1 turn (6 damage each rd).

Stealth +5 (Cubes are nearly transparent)

Engulf: With a successful Stealth check on an unsuspecting victim, the person has inadvertently walked into the Cube.  Automatic hit and 6 damage, DC 18 Fort Sv or stunned.

Bane: Will retreat from fire and magic attacks

Cubes may be holding various victims’ treasure inside them, until it passes them an hour later (leaving a trail of random goods).  Sometimes valuables are clearly visible (Stealth ability goes to +0).

Southland: Contested Migration Areas

THE SOUTHLAND

A Fantasy Core Setting

© Jerry Harris 2014

Published here as Open Game Content.

(This link will take you to the Fantasy Core Index.)

Southland Index

Humanoid Lands Index

Contested Migration Areas

The various Humanoids of the Outback are voracious consumers.  A few of the clans, tribes, and gangs have settled into certain permanent residences, where they can comfortably feed themselves.  [These places, along with the Humanoid’s stats, will be detailed in following posts.]  Most Humanoids though are near roaming armies, tracking around the continent in migratory arcs, searching for new feeding grounds.  This can include preserves of wildlife, human settlements, and even meeting opposing Humanoid forces. 

The Nullarbor Plain along the southern coast is a tree-less prairie that is something of a transit corridor for large groups of Humanoids.  This seems to be the one of the common stops for these migrating groups engaged in the Humanoid version of the “Walkabout.”  For this reason, though the plain would be quite suitable for ranching, the humans have left this area alone.

The Plain was a site of massive battles during the Ancient Civil War.  It has since ecologically recovered, somewhat.  There are many limestone caverns, tunnels, and sinkholes underneath the Plain.  There is also abundant water held in some of those caverns.  The Ancients used these as military and survival bunkers.  Unfortunately during the Catastrophe, they weren’t deep or enchanted enough to save anyone. 

It’s a very dangerous spot for exploring, but in some of those bunkers should be magic weapons, artifacts, and knowledge.  There has been a tale of one explorer stumbling upon a cache of several “sleeping” dragons.  Were this story told anywhere else in world, it would be dismissed.

[Yep, drop in your favorite cavern-style dungeon here.]

Above ground water is a problem in the Southland.  Most fresh water has to come from Artesian wells underground.  There are just a few fresh water rivers, such as the Murray and the Darling in the southeast, that are constantly flowing.  Lake Eyre, along with a series of other salt lakes (Torrens, Frome, Gairdner), form when there’s enough monsoon rains to fill them.  Eyre is the only one with standing water, but even then, most of the time, it’s a crust of salt over a depression in the desert.    

Humanoids can process saltwater, though they don’t like it, but it’s easier than digging a well.  These saltwater lakes, when filled, are watering holes for the tribes when on the move.  It is another common stop on their “Walkabouts.”  Humans do harvest the salt, but normally avoid the area during the wet season, when the Humanoids typically visit.  The various tribes do normally have an informal, standing truce around the lakes, but it doesn’t take much of an incident to get them to break it.  

Sports Journal 9-3-15 Deflated

I’ve probably already made enough snide, off-hand comments about the NFL to make any commentary on “Deflate-Gate” questionable on my part.  Further, my obvious allegiance is to BASEBALL!  But, how can I pass up an opportunity to do some actual timely topical blogging for a change?

First, I think the whole league is fixed.  I don’t mean deflated footballs.  How can you seriously watch a season’s worth of football and not question calls on the field and subsequent reviews on a weekly basis?  You can think of your own examples, probably very easily.  The only reason for official reviews is because the referees on the field kept botching the fixes.  The “replacement” refs weren’t any worse than regular ones, except they were unacceptably screwing up the fixes.  Here is why the league is mad at the Patriots: they keep trying to fix the games to their advantage!  That is the exclusive, not-to-be-messed-with domain of the NFL.  They determine the winners and losers, not the damn teams!  No team scores unless the third team on the field (the refs) allows it.

Okay, I’ve got no proof behind my allegations (or than watching what goes on in the actual games).  You can legitimately dismiss what I’ve said.  Maybe it’s not the NFE (National Football Entertainment).  If this is the case, then you then have to accept that the rules of the game are impossible to play by.  The players routinely break them.  The referees arbitrarily enforce them.  There are fouls on virtually every play of the game if they were observed and called by the book.  Seeing all the infractions is impossible and then calling them all would not produce anything close to entertainment.  

Second, this whole “controversy” was just a publicity campaign to keep the NFL in the national consciousness during the off-season.  That’s all it was.  It was there to keep people talking after the Superbowl.  It was re-ignited, conveniently, right after the NBA finals.  This has been manufactured by the media.  It’s all been a bunch of panty-wadding crap to give pundits (I guess including myself) something to pontificate on. 

I’m not a Patriots fan.  I think Tom Brady is a great player, but he’s not my favorite and I don’t root for him, unless his team is playing somebody I really hate.  That said, I’m glad that he’ll be playing.  Since I think it’s all illegitimate anyway, may as well put the most entertaining players out on the field.  I am a Cowboys fan (low-key, I admit).  This decision may harm my team since I think they’re playing each other this season.  (No, I don’t know their schedule.  I don’t memorize baseball schedules beyond the current week either.)  Well, if the Cowboys beat the Patriots with Brady, then it’s a greater victory than without him playing.

Meanwhile, Goodell is apparently going to appeal this.  Not for the league, not for the fix, but for his job.  This whole thing has been a massive screw-up on his part, since this deflation issue actually came up before the game in question was played.  He has embarrassed the Shield with this loss in the court.  If he doesn’t win at some point in this saga, Goodell is out the door.  The commissioner is just a mouthpiece/figurehead anyway.  But, the games will be being played at that point.  This story has already served its purpose of publicity and will be over-staying its welcome after the season starts.  Brady being suddenly suspended in-season is just going to anger the fans, rather than placate them, thus making Goodell an even more hated tool. 

Hopefully, these will be my only comments on this, hoping that this affair now goes away.