Aquaman Revamp

[I have three modest Fantasy Core adventures ready to go, but I'm going to be interspersing them with a few random topic posts, such as this one.]

Out of nowhere, I’m proposing a makeover to Aquaman.  Actually, I think I thought of this while I was doing those Justice League movie posts.  I wrote a couple of lines, forgot about it, and recently rediscovered it.  So, I’m highly dedicated to this concept. 

I don’t know why I’m bothering.  I don’t even like Aquaman.  Perhaps that’s the point.  He needs to be fixed, especially if there’s any chance of him being in the movie.  I’ve read his origin, but it was unmemorable enough to the point where I couldn’t tell you what it is.  There have been several attempts at making him cool, all of which are irrelevant.  He still wears green and orange and talks to fishes.  The 70’s cartoon version is the definitive version.  That is to say, he’s something of a joke.      

Aquaman has super strength.  He can breathe underwater and swim fast.  He can speak to fishes and call them to help him.  He’s king of Atlantis and is married.  He’s had a family trauma.  The villainous Black Manta killed his infant son, Aquababy. 

Aquababy? 

I can’t make that sound dramatic.   

Marvel’s Namor, the Submariner, who’s also king of Atlantis (it’s like Game of Thrones isn’t it?) and has problems out of the water, isn’t a joke.  He’s something of a bad ass.  This probably comes from his ambiguous heroic nature.  He’s fought other heroes about as often as he’s teamed up with them.  As (I think) John Byrne put it, the guy isn’t a superhero, he’s a nationalist (Atlantian) with superpowers.  And this guy either wears a little pair of swim trunks or a black vest, exposing his bare chest.  (Yeah, we’re all making the same value judgments here, aren’t we?)  Namor has Spock/Elf ears, a flat top, and wings on his ankles.  Wings on his ankles!  They somehow allow him to fly too. 

So Namor is super strong, can breathe underwater, swim very fast, can fly, and depowers if out of water for too long.  How’s he any better than Aquaman?  Well, the flight thing, regardless of the mode of locomotion, isn’t bad.  He was in WWII, alongside Captain America and the original Human Torch, fighting Krauts and Japs.  Namor almost seduced Sue Storm before Reed Richards married her.  (Fantastic Four reference.)  This almost cost him his future wife, Lady Dorma, who, of course, later died tragically.  He’s been ret-conned into a mutant, but then again, who hasn’t?  I don’t think Namor talks to fishes, but even if he does, that wouldn’t be a big minus considering the rest.     

Okay, how do we fix this?  First, dump the whole Atlantis angle.  Just walk away from it and everything in it.  Second, change his stupid powers.  Have Aquaman’s powers be water based.  He can grab moisture in the air and blast with it.  Get him anywhere near running water, he can turn it into a firehose-like pressure stream.  Get him next to a body of water.  Forget about it.  Villains need to start building an ark.  And sure, he can fly on a column of water.  Third, Aquaman has so much baggage associated with him, let’s do that hip and trendy thing that hip/trendy writers and producers do all the time to established characters.  Let’s gender/race flop him. 

Hello, Aquagirl!  Before the New 52 crap, I read the version of the Teen Titans that immediately preceded it, just mostly to see Lorena Marquez as Aquagirl.  Hot, sassy, and had a cool aqua-camo wetsuit costume.  (I might add, Aquaman actually had something like that costume during one makeover attempt, and they got rid of it for some reason.)  I don’t know if she’s still around in the New 52.  If Aquagirl is too sexist, Aqualad (Aquaman’s “Robin”) changed his name to Tempest when he got older, which isn’t bad.  Then they introduced a new Aqualad, who was a young black man, who hung out in the desert.  Don’t know if he’s still around.  Kinda high concept there.

Finally, a new origin for our new water-based superhero, Tempest, based on the old water-based superhero, Aquaman.  Since we’re just about keeping nothing that went before, we have a blank slate to work with.  I’m going with personified water elemental avatar.  Lorena is the current holder of the power of the seas.  (This way we can change the actor in later movies.)  This does suggest other elementals, who can be introduced later.  Lorena is new to the job as the previous holder died recently.  (Sly, in-joke reference to Aquaman.  Also, you can have someone call her “Aquagirl,” and she can punch him in the gut and say, “It’s Tempest, idiot.”)  Why is she with the Justice League?  What’s her motivations and background?  I’ll leave that to the scriptwriters.  My work here is done.  You’re welcome. 

And, yes, she can still talk to the fishes.  

“Hey, not so fast!  Isn’t this character essentially Fathom?”

Jdh417 pretends not hear that comment and walks away quickly.