Southland: Sample Adventure 4

THE SOUTHLAND

A Fantasy Core Setting

© Jerry Harris 2014

Published here as Open Game Content.

(This link will take you to the Fantasy Core Index.)

Southland Index

Sample Town and Adventure Index

The Tomb (0 XP)

Stepping inside any of the arches, the characters will find themselves inside a large rectangular funeral vault.  It is lit by several torches, which are all mundane.  There’s a wooden box with a small slot in the top of it just inside the entrance.  The top is secured by a small lock, which could be easily pried open.  Inside the box is 20 Ancient Credits (platinum pieces). 

Along the left and right sides of the chamber are shelves containing various artifacts.  These are 30 various objects and pieces of artwork that survived the deluge from before the time of the Ancients.  None of them radiate magic.  A collector in a large city might have an interest in them and pay 10 gp each, but otherwise they have obvious useful purpose.  Unfortunately, 10 of the objects are fairly bulky.  Unless the group brought a cart, they won’t be able to take them.

At the far end of the chamber is an obvious stone sarcophagus.  Over it is a sign in Ancient that proclaims, “The Thing!”  Stepping up to it, the lid suddenly flings back (clearly not stone).  A mummified corpse sits up in the sarcophagus, waves his arms, and begins to speak in Ancient, “I come from the time before the benevolent Wizard-Kings.  Come, listen to my tales of my long ago time.”   The corpse then begins to drone on about the various artifacts in the room, as a spotlight illuminates the objects as he talks about them.  (Feel free to embellish on this as you wish.  Low, bawdy humor might be appropriate, as the characters are about to get F’ed.)  With examination, the sarcophagus and mummy are revealed to be cheesy props.

Back in the Ruins

(2 XP for fighting, 1 XP for escaping without fighting)

There’s nothing else of value in the chamber, and no other way out.  Leaving the chamber, the façade and courtyard suddenly disappear and the site is returned to ruins.  There have been interesting developments in the ruins since the characters have been gone.

The Humanoids have returned and with reinforcements.  That’s not the bad news, because they’re actually dead.  No, the bad news is what’s killed and frightened them.  It’s a bunch of six Mummy Zombies.  (Did you really think there wasn’t going to be a mummy fight in this?)  One has just finished choking the life out of a Gnoll, the last defender remaining as the rest of them have fled, when it sees the characters and begins to move towards them.

The characters can outrun the zombies, but only if they do so immediately.  If they stay, it’s going to be a fight.  If the characters leave the ruins during the fight, the zombies will follow, but (importantly) the zombies will lose their energy drain ability. 

Immediately after (presumably) killing all the Mummy Zombies, the dead Humanoids in the area suddenly rise and attack.  There are 10 Humanoid Zombies that have the same stats as the mummies.           

Mummified Zombies

HD 2+3, Hp 11, AC 11 (natural), Always strike last in rd.    

Fort +0, Ref –1, Will +3

Melee: Slam +2 to hit 1d6+1 + Energy Drain DC 12 Will Sv or lose 1 negative hp

Vulnerable: Fire causes x 2 damage

The Way Back (0 XP)

Hime, fully clothed as a geisha this time, is waiting by the Billboard.  Regardless of the characters’ dealings with her, Hime wants info about the ruins.  (I guess I should mention, Hime didn’t want to possibly get caught in the trap there.)  If the characters did not have a deal, she jingles a small pouch with 10 gp in it.  Hime will not fight, nor force the divulgence. 

If the characters aren’t fully and completely truthful in their tale, Hime uses telepathy on each character.  It is a DC 12 Will Sv to resist.  She’ll give them gold if she gets the info, one way or the other.  Lastly, she’ll ask what the characters think was going on there.  After they speak, Hime will offer that she thinks it was a trap set up to kill Humanoids, “But by whom?”  With that she turns to gas and flies off. 

The group is unmolested on their way back to Cross.

Southland: Sample Adventure 3

THE SOUTHLAND

A Fantasy Core Setting

© Jerry Harris 2014

Published here as Open Game Content.

(This link will take you to the Fantasy Core Index.)

Southland Index

Sample Town and Adventure Index

The Ruins (2 XP)

Before the characters reach the ruins, they’ll hear the guttural chanting and wailing.  The ruins are surrounded by low hills.  The group can easily peek in without being observed (assuming they’re not just charging over the hill).  The area radiates strong magic.  Spell-users will literally feel it just being near it. 

It’s a walled plot of land with a bunch of scattered ruins.  As Hime said (if they spoke to “her”), there is a mixed group of 20 Humanoids at the site (no leader types).  4 Goblins, 2 Hobgoblins, 6 Kobolds, 6 Orcs, and 2 Gnolls ****links**** are loudly worshipping the ruins.  They’ll be oblivious to the characters as long as they stay out of sight and don’t make a lot of noise.  With a little extra observation, the characters will also see that the different races are clearly not getting along. 

The Humanoids are all praying to the north end of the site, though there doesn’t seem to be anything special there.  Contrary to Hime’s reconnaissance, there’s nothing amongst the ruins that looks like a tomb.  No standing structure, nor obvious entry into the underground. 

Okay, here’s where the players need to learn how to think.  It’s unlikely the group can take these guys in a straight up fight.  Let the players come up with a hair-brained scheme in order to get down among the ruins.  They could wait until dark, but the wandering humanoids, who are theoretically patrolling the area (and doing a lousy job of it, obviously), will return.  The Humanoids will sleep, but 4 Gnolls and 4 Hobgoblins will alternate watches (the others can’t be trusted). 

The Humanoids are in a highly superstitious state from praying all day for the last three days.  They’re also fasting, until the wandering groups bring some food in the evening.  They’re not expecting any disruptions and their inter-species patience is wearing thin as there are no leader types amongst them.  The pervasive ruins and walls would allow easy (DC 12) sneaking.  Frankly, any rouse should get half the Humanoids to scatter and the rest to flee at half losses.  They’ll be back in 2 turns, though, and with all of the remaining wandering groups.

Award the 2 XP for getting the group down to the ruins so that they can investigate the site.

Once characters get over the surrounding walls into the site, the view changes.  Suddenly, this large ruined temple façade can be seen at the north end of the site and the walls have become a formal courtyard.  What has happened here is that the landscape has been distorted by magic.  Being in the courtyard, allows one to see the site, still in ruins, but before it completely fell apart.  It’s real.  Well, technically “real-ish.”  It’s a matter of perspective.     

Other than the squalid camp of the Humanoids, there’s only stone ruins at the site.  There’s still no tomb.  If the façade is physically examined, one thing is terribly off.  The ground level arches, if stepped in front of, show a passage behind them.  Walking around the façade, it’s just a wall.  A strange issue of a lack of depth.  (Note: The Humanoids cannot see or interact with this.  They could only sense it.)

[The images are of Halicarnassus, by the way.]

Southland: Sample Adventure 2

THE SOUTHLAND

A Fantasy Core Setting

© Jerry Harris 2014

Published here as Open Game Content.

(This link will take you to the Fantasy Core Index.)

Southland Index

Sample Town and Adventure Index

Travel to the Site (0 XP)

It’s about an hour and a half mounted or two and half hours on foot to reach the site.  It lies directly southeast of Cross in an uninhabited area with no roads.  There’s a visual natural landmark about half way as a waypoint. 

Oh, how I hate random encounters, especially in Southland where nearly everything is instantly inimical to human life.  Nonetheless, roll 1d4 once for every hour of travel or part thereof, a 1 means an encounter.  Roll 1d6, 1-3 dangerous animals, 4-5 Humanoids, 6 Humans. 

For the dangerous animals, roll 1d4.  This could be 1-Killer Sheep (10), 2-Dire Kangaroos (10), or 3-Dire Rabbits (20).    On a 4 roll, roll again for Humanoids.  A group of them are hunting the herd and their attack will drive the animals towards the characters.   

Generally, the animals will observe the group, but not attack unless provoked.  However, while the characters were in town, they noticed that there’s a posted bounty on such creatures (by taking their right ears).  5 cp Dire Rabbit, 1 sp Dire Kangaroo, 2 sp Killer Sheep (that’s double the usual Southland bounty since this is a sheepherder community).  The animals will scatter with determined resistance. 

For the Humanoid encounters, roll 1d4: 1-Orc Scouts (6), 2-Goblin Mob (10), 3-4 Hobgoblin Scouts (4), 4-Gnoll Hunting Party (4).  There is a posted bounty of 1 gp Humanoid right ears.

Roll another 1d4: 1-Humanoids see Characters first (Hobgoblins and Gnolls will attempt an ambush, Orcs and Goblins attack immediately), 2-Characters see the Humanoids first, 3-Both sides see each other at the same time, 4-Neither side sees the other, but any disturbance will alert the other.  Orcs will attack to the last.  Goblins flee at half casualties.  Hobgoblins and Gnolls will retreat if overmatched to get reinforcements (2 turns, return with the other wandering Humanoid groups).

Human encounters will be a complication to this stealth mission, either being military (Frontier Service squad of 11 or two Rangers ) or rival scavengers (like Snax and Worm if they aren’t with the group).  *****links**** Roll as above as to who sees whom first.  This would more than likely be negotiation encounter.  Troops will want to know the group’s business.  Scavengers may want to join forces.  Play off of whatever the players’ reaction is.     

Oasis (0 XP)

Eventually the group makes it to the waypoint.  Perhaps it’s an oasis amongst the dunes, a small grove of trees on the prairie, or a hill in the jungle (obviously depending on where you’ve placed the adventure).  Regardless, there is a small pool of water there and bathing in said pool is a beautiful, naked woman.  She beacons to them. 

Even the most novice adventurer (or player) will discern this situation is likely not what it appears to be.  She will do nothing else if ignored, and continue her bath.  If attacked, she teleports and flees.  If encountered, the viewer will notice she is Oriental, and introduce herself as Hime (he-may) in Common.  Hime is an Oni.  She radiates magic, but is physically shape-changed into human form (not an illusion).   

Hime seems to know where the characters are going, via some cryptic allusions.  She has information about the site, but wants information in return.  She can describe the ruins and that there are many and various Humanoids there.  She wants to know what’s in the tomb.  That’s all for now.  (No, she doesn’t want to have sex with the characters.  Business before pleasure.)      

Billboard (0 XP)

About halfway to the ruins from the oasis, sits this sign.  Weirdness just shows up in the Southland interior.  Get used to it.  The sign is actually written in Ancient (a chance to use that Language skill, DC 12), and it radiates magic.  It is from the time of the Ancients, and its magic has somehow allowed it to survive all this time.  However, its upright placing here looks recent, as the post holes have been freshly dug.  There is a rough, well-traveled path around the sign, leading to the ruins.  The tracks are of various types of Humanoids.  (Some players may accurately see this encounter as foreshadowing.)  

Southland: Sample Adventure 1 “The Thing”

THE SOUTHLAND

A Fantasy Core Setting

© Jerry Harris 2014

Published here as Open Game Content.

(This link will take you to the Fantasy Core Index.)

Southland Index

Sample Town and Adventure Index

Sample Adventure “The Thing”

Intro

First, you can give this to the players.  Fill in Cross’ location and any other sites their characters would have seen (like Sydney).  They can fill in the rest themselves as they learn more about the Southland.  It is assumed that the characters have come from somewhere else, probably the Commonwealth.  They might be adventurers, perhaps they are, or were, in the military, or something else entirely.  Generating some backstory for the character group may pay off well later.  Let the players decide what they want.

Ancient Language Skill

Magic-using characters of any class might also have the Ancient Language skill.  It is presumed that they have come or were assigned to the Southland to put it to use.  This requires the ability to work magic and at least a +1 Bonus in Wis and Int.  Ancient is a magical language, literally.  It requires the Read Magic and Comprehend Language spells to read and understand.  (The Tongues spell is required to write and speak it.) 

Unfortunately, the Ancients were a very obtuse people.  Their language was riddled with slang, euphemisms, legalism, double-talk, and metaphor.  The writings of borderline insane Wizard-Kings are near mindless babble.   So, reading it is one thing, but understanding is a separate skill.  Given the highly incomplete knowledge of their culture, interpretation is always iffy.  The Ancient Language skill is (Wis + Int Bonus)/2 + ½ level, vs the DC of the text (DC 12 common, DC 18 spellbooks and Wizard-King writings).  The Comprehend Language spell is cast first, then the skill check is made to understand the context of the words.  Figure about 10 pages of text per turn.  

However, there’s a risk when translating high-level (DC 18) text, and there’s a reason why not all Ancient texts have been translated.  If the skill check fails, the reader must roll a DC 12 Will Sv or permanently lose 1 Wis Bonus point.  If the reader loses all of their Wis Bonus points, they must make another DC 12 Will Sv or go insane (details left up to the players and Ref).  The Comprehend Language spell alone can give a reader a general sense of subject matter and possible danger.  There are high-priced scholarly options for getting a good translation of high-level texts (dangerous favors for the translator are also a payment option). 

The Humanoids all speak (they do not write) in pidgin forms of Ancient, particular to their own species.  Their talk is mundane and pretty straightforward and can be understood with just the Comprehend Language spell.

Entering Cross

Since there’s any number of possibilities for starting out an adventure here, I’m placing the burden of this upon the Ref and the players.  If they’re all first level adventurers, looking for fame and fortune, they should wander around town, meeting the locals and picking up some local chatter.  Perhaps they’re military or clandestine government agents on assignment, canvassing the town for info.  Don’t let me limit you on your possible choices. 

This adventure assumes 4 to 6 characters of low-level (1-3).  If you’re pressed for time or low on players, I suppose you let someone take one of Cross’ NPC’s (not Wiz!) out with the party, along with a couple of Red Blade, Frontier Service, or Marine troops.  The adventure could even start in media res out on the trail, skipping town altogether.

Regardless of the start, the “hook” is this: a bunch of Humanoids have been seen congregating around some recently uncovered ruins about 10 miles outside of Cross.  Again, I don’t know where you’re placing the town, so the ruins might have been covered by the sands, buried under prairie or swamp, and uncovered by a storm or an earthquake.  Or the ruins might have even just suddenly appeared as magical fallout has faded.  The Rangers have spotted the ruins and have observed mixed groups of Humanoids gathering there.  The different species typically don’t mingle, unless they’re venerating an important Ancient site.  The Rangers haven’t investigated the ruins themselves.

Knowledge of this is not well known, as it might cause a bit of a panic in town.  The citizens wouldn’t want to live an armed camp like Alice Springs.  The characters then are assigned or contracted or perhaps somehow came across this information.  Speed and discretion are needed regardless.  Reconnaissance on the site, or perhaps raiding it of possible treasure before the military and some researchers show up, are the objectives.    

Southland: Master Wizard Thaddeus Marn

THE SOUTHLAND

A Fantasy Core Setting

© Jerry Harris 2014

Published here as Open Game Content.

(This link will take you to the Fantasy Core Index.)

Southland Index

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Master Wizard Thaddeus Marn, “The Wiz”

+3 Int, +2 Wis, +1 Dex

HD 10 (d6 Wizard), Hp 40, AC 11 (Displacement Robe all non-magical hits miss, 50% magical weapon attacks miss, Magic Spells reflect whenever Wiz Saves against them)

Fort +3, Ref +4, Will +9

Melee: None

Ranged: Wand of Ice Blast: Hail deals 12 freezing damage + Stun 1 rd + dropped to last in Initiative. (Ref Sv ½ damage) M range. 10 Charges

Spellcheck +8, Save Against DC 17, 3 Failures/encounter

(The Wiz has a wider spell selection, but these are his favorites.)

1ST-LEVEL WIZARD SPELLS (DC 13 to cast)

Charm Person: Makes one person your friend. 10 turns. (Will Sv)

Comprehend Languages: You understand all spoken and written languages. 10 turns.

Magic Missile: 12 impact damage + Knocked down. (Ref Sv all damage) Short range.

Sleep: Puts 4 HD of creatures into magical slumber, 1 turn. (Fort Sv)

2ND-LEVEL WIZARD SPELLS (DC 14 to cast)

Acid Arrow: 12 acid damage + -1 to non-Dex bonus AC. (Ref Sv all damage) Short range.

Blindness/Deafness: Makes subject magically blinded or deafened. Encounter. (Will Sv)

Detect Thoughts: Allows "listening" to surface thoughts. 10' range. 10 rds

3RD-LEVEL WIZARD SPELLS (DC 15 to cast)

Clairaudience/Clairvoyance: Hear or see at a distance for 1 rd./level.  Line of sight, through 1 wall.

Daylight: 60-ft. radius of bright light. 10 turns.

Dispel Magic: Cancels magical spells and effects. Roll a normal spellcheck to cast, then also compare that to DC 11 + ½ the original caster’s level.  Both must be successful to dispel the magic.  If the just the spellcheck is successful, it doesn't count as a spell failure (Caster Check)

4TH-LEVEL WIZARD SPELLS (DC 16 to cast)

Wall of Ice: Ice plane creates wall with 25 hp, or hemisphere can trap creatures inside. (Ref Sv to avoid being trapped.  Can batter their way out.) Short range.

Wall of Fire: 16 fire damage + 1d8 continuing damage until extinguished out to 10 ft. and 1d6 out to 20 ft. Passing through wall deals x2 damage. Lasts 1 rd per ½ level. (Ref Sv ½ damage to avoid initial appearance.) Short range. Note that this spell does have the capacity to set off flammable objects in the area and go out of control quickly.

5TH-LEVEL WIZARD SPELLS (DC 17 to cast)

Baleful Polymorph: Transforms subject into harmless animal.  Permanent.  Requires physical presence or sympathy (personal object), Forbidden spell. (Will Sv, Caster Check to break.)

Break Enchantment: Frees subjects from enchantments, alterations, curses, and petrifaction. (Caster Check)

Cloudkill: Kills 3 HD or less individuals (No Save); 4-6 HD (Fort Sv or die), 6+ HD stunned 1 rd.  Immediate area or 30' sq.

“Wiz,” as he is usually called, came to the Southland to study Ancient writings.  He ended up in Cross convinced that he was close to an interesting discovery.  (What exactly depends on where you wish to place Cross on the continent.)  He has some dealings with the military base at Alice Springs via a liaison, but it’s clearly a loose arrangement.

Congenial, but also capricious and easily distracted, the Wiz is a potentially lucrative, but dangerous benefactor for the hired adventurers he takes on his expeditions.  He’s actually lost some of his mind (read: Wisdom Bonus) from his magical experiments (lucky he had some to spare).  However, there are piles of dead Humanoids to attest to his magical prowess.  Wiz’s Tower is reported to be bigger on the inside than its real estate footprint would suggest, but these claims are considered dubious.

Southland: Lt. Thule Harker, Ranger and Snax and Worm

THE SOUTHLAND

A Fantasy Core Setting

© Jerry Harris 2014

Published here as Open Game Content.

(This link will take you to the Fantasy Core Index.)

Southland Index

Sample Town and Adventure Index

Lt. Thule Harker, Ranger of the Southern Cross

+3 Str, +2 Con, +3 Dex, +1 Int, +1 Wis

HD 7 (d8 Ranger), Hp 46, AC 15 (Leather)

Fort +7, Ref +8, Will +3

Melee: Longsword +10 to hit 1d8+3

Parry: (on first missed melee attack) Short Sword +6 to hit 1d6+3

Ranged: 2 attacks/rd Longbow +10 to hit 1d8, L

Mounted Archery skill, but only 1 shot/rd

Crack Shot: May fire into melee, but only 1 shot/rd

Detection: +5

Stealth: +6

Track: +5 (DC 12 fresh trail, DC 18 old trail)

First Aid

While one of the most experienced warriors in the area, Thule is also one of the most undisciplined and unruly when off-duty.  It’s why he’s never been promoted past his field commission and generally works alone.  However, in the field, no one doubts his competence.  Large trading caravans will seldom leave without his escort.  Outback patrols consult with him before leaving town.  He is assigned to this general area and is often in the field, but always seems to be around town before any trouble hits, sounding an alarm.  Harker might technically be Keft’s subordinate, but the Captain has never given him an order, or needed to. 

“Snax” and “Worm”

+1 Str, +3 Dex, +2 Int, +1 Wis

HD 5 (d6 Thief), Hp Snax 18, Worm 23, AC 15 (Leather) Enhanced Init +3

Fort +1, Ref +7, Will +2

(Only ever takes ½ dam at most from failed save)

Melee: Snax Dagger +4 to hit 1d4+1, Sap +4 to hit, used for KO

Worm +2 Dragonclaw Dagger +6 to hit 1d4+3

Ranged: Snax +1 Folding Magic Crossbow +7 to hit 1d8, M

Worm Short Bow +6 to hit 1d6, M

Lucky: DC 12 Will Sv on first hit in a rd to avoid damage, DC 18 on other hits in a rd.

Both own Enchanted Cloaks (+2 to Stealth)

Stealth Attacks

All-Steath check (DC 12 Stealth check) + Successful attack roll, may be attempted once on an opponent, once per encounter

Surprise-Unsuspecting victim, Max dam x2 + Stun

KO-Unsuspecting victim, DC 12 Fort Sv or KO 1 turn

Sneak-In combat, Max dam + Stun

Skills (Both own +2 Enchanted lockpicks)

+5: Detection (Traps, ambushes), Detection (Trapped items), Disarm Traps, Find (Secret doors and items)

+8: Stealth (Hiding, sneaking), Pick Locks

+6: Escape Artist, Forgery, Pick Pockets

+5: Acrobatics (Balancing, jumping), Climb

+4: Fast Talk, Haggle, Disguise, Intimidate (Psychologically)

+4: Charm

+5: Intimidate (Physically)

These two brothers, living under assumed names, are Cross’ resident master thieves.  Prince Maxter, once he knew of their presence, offered them a quiet clemency and protection against possible Sydney Thieves Guild retaliation for their betrayal of them.  (The magic items they are in possession of were part of that.)  In return, they must “keep their noses very clean,” and be willing to do various “odd jobs” for him.  The Founders secret society (one of whom is running the Guild) is not pleased with this development.  Maxter is notorious for having people do “odd jobs” for him and several people in town owe him favors.  The brothers are chaffing under this arrangement, but it’s better than being murdered.

Southland: Captain Keft Horgon and the Red Blade Cavalry

THE SOUTHLAND

A Fantasy Core Setting

© Jerry Harris 2014

Published here as Open Game Content.

(This link will take you to the Fantasy Core Index.)

Southland Index

Sample Town and Adventure Index

Captain Keft Horgon, Cross Garrison Commander

+3 Str, +2 Con, +1 Dex, +2 Wis, +3 Cha

HD 6 (d10 Ftr), Hp 47, AC 17 (Breastplate, Steel Shield)

Fort +7, Ref +3, Will +4

Melee: +2 Long Sword (The Red Blade) +11 to hit 1d8+5, on any Natural hit add 1d6 bleeding damage

Charge: +1 Dragontooth Spear +10 to hit 1d8+4, Reach, Max damage + Stun

Ranged: Longbow +7 to hit 1d8, L

Mounted Archery Skill

Keft earned his field commission on “The Marches,” fighting barbarian tribes in Norther March.  He gained the “Red Blade” in single-combat with a chieftain.  His leadership skills earned him a nearly unprecedented (for a Commoner) promotion to Captain.  Keft was famous enough that Prince Maxter requested him and his unit be reassigned to him when the Prince was “exiled” to Cross.  It’s been a hard adjustment in climate and foes, but the men have performed well.  Keft’s Dragontooth Spear is his latest trophy, courtesy of a dead Orc clan leader.  Keft is normally unarmored around town, but carries his sword everywhere.  His magnificent white horse, Charger, displays an uncanny level of intelligence and loyalty. 

Red Blade Cavalry Trooper

+1 Str, +1 Con, +1 Dex, +1 Wis

HD 3 (d10), Hp 18, AC 16 (Chain mail, Steel Shield)

Fort +4, Ref +2, Will +2

Melee: Longsword +4 to hit 1d8+1

Charge: Lance +4 to hit 1d8+1, Reach, Max damage + Stun, breaks Lance, except on Natural hit

Ranged: Longbow +4 to hit 1d8, L

Mounted Archery Skill

While Keft was only able to take a squad of his cavalry company to join him at his new post, he picked the best veteran troopers.  While there’s only 12 of them, they are the backbone of Cross’ defense.  Before expected combat, they will ritually dip their swords and lances in red paint.   

Sergeant Gallows, Red Blade Commander

+2 Str, +2 Con, +1 Dex, +1 Int, +2 Wis

HD 4 (d10), Hp 28, AC 16 (Chain mail, Steel Shield)

Fort +6, Ref +2, Will +3

Melee: Longsword +6 to hit 1d8+2

Charge: Lance +6 to hit 1d8+2, Reach, Max damage + Stun, breaks Lance, except on Natural hit

Ranged: Longbow +5 to hit 1d8, L

Mounted Archery Skill

The “Antique” as Sgt Gallows is called, nominally commands the unit.  (Keft will personally lead them in field combat.)  Gruff, no-nonsense old time veteran, Gallows has seen everything.  (No one knows his first name.)