7-9-19
Let’s end the All-Star Game.
No, really.
I’ve just about had
it with this event. Yes, this is really JDH417 writing here, and this blog
hasn’t been hijacked by a degenerate gambling NFL fan (it’s all fixed), an NBA
fan (it’s a reality show, not a sport) or some flaky anti-American soccer fan
(soccer still sucks). How could I, a
tremendous baseball fan, be against the only event that forces the mainstream
sports media to at least momentarily acknowledge the existence of baseball in
the middle of the summer?
The game itself is
okay. There’s no telling whether it’ll
be a good game or not (like any baseball game before it starts), but at least
you’ll be seeing a bunch of great players.
There’s going to be some goofiness.
Some players will be wearing some special shoes and such. Others will be wearing microphones on the
field in play. They’ll be laughing and
smiling and doing social media stuff from the dugouts (even at home plate). This is fine for an exhibition game. Baseball should never take itself too
seriously, because the season is too long and they play too many games for
that. The guys are still trying to win,
because playing badly on a national stage is embarrassing.
Here’s what I’m
sick of. I’m tired of players bitching
and campaigning to get voted into a game that they’ll blow off actually going
to on the slightest pretext. I’m
infuriated with sportswriters bemoaning the fans voting, sometimes
sanctimoniously approving, other times sabermetically outraged. I’m sick of the behind-the-scenes politics of
players actually getting put into the game.
I’m obviously not happy with the MLB
dangling hosting the game to cities in return for SJW demands. The game doesn’t count for anything like it
used to. The NL and the AL play each
other everyday, so it’s no longer a matter of league pride. Commentators and players are ever so proud
that they took all of the meaning out of this game in terms of World Series home field. Way to go.
Let’s not forget
the Home Run Derby. Even a million dollar payout can’t get the
biggest home run hitters to show up more than once. They’re afraid of hurting themselves or
messing up their swing. Home run leader,
Christian Yelich, whose “bad back”
kept him out of the Derby, didn’t keep him from playing in the ASG. They’ll have to change the format again
eventually if someone gets badly hurt or if they can’t get any big names to
show.
Don’t worry. It’s not going to be long before this ASG
will be like the other sports with no defense.
Basically, they’ll combine Home Run Derby with the All-Star Game to see
if they can break 50 in the total score.
End take. On to the game.
Outside of Jacobs Field, a lonely Chief Wahoo stoically stood in silent
judgment. A single tear rolled down his
cheek as he looked on at the festivities.
Sadly, the iconic Indians
mascot had been excluded, all but forgotten, from this showcase event. It was yet another injustice against Native
Americans.
Wait, what? It’s not Jacobs Field anymore and hasn’t been
for years? Oh. Well, nobody pays me to mention their
sponsors. And what? Using the terms “Indians” and “Native
Americans” is racist? The Cleveland
baseball team is now called the “First Peoples?” That’s not even good English. Why not something more accurate like the
“Sacred Casino Operators?” Why not
change the name altogether to something more regional like the “Cleveland Lake
Fires?”
The MLB basically
held Cleveland hostage to get rid of the Chief in return for the All-Star
Game. I don’t know the exact sequence of
events, but that’s it in a nutshell.
Expect more extortion in the future as Braves fans are forced to stop using the “tomahawk chop,” in return
for Atlanta’s new stadium hosting the game.
Eventually, they’ll try and force teams to wear rainbow flags for Pride
Month (which will result in a strike).
So now, Cleveland
is stuck without a mascot and using a red “C” for their logo, which several
other pro teams use a variation of.
There’s no iconography for their name, which is not considered polite in
itself. They’re still selling merch with
Chief Wahoo at a couple of select outlets to keep the trademarked image from
falling into public domain, which would allow anyone to make products with
it. Their current hat and shirt sales
must have taken a hit from all of this.
Can they even change the name, since the team was nicknamed in honor of
an actual Indian who played for a Cleveland baseball team? It’s a complete cluster “F.”
Alright, now let’s cover the actual game
itself. I started listening to the
pregame over the radio. A live band
played in the starters. I heard the
band’s name, but missed writing it down.
They were like the world’s greatest 70’s/80’s cover band. The Cleveland crowd gave Michael Brantley a nice hand.
He played there for ten years, albeit about seven of them were on the
disabled list and the rest were disappointing.
As the game
started, I continued listening at another workstation in another
department. I barely heard a word of the
broadcast as three of my nearby co-workers engaged in a spirited discussion
about the health care industry. I did
not comment, but it was interesting.
Finally, they left and I got to hear the game. In the second, Brantley drove in Alex Bregman to give the AL a 1-0
lead. Bregman, a proud New Mexican,
sported an awesome state flag bat. It
was yellow with the red Zia on it.
That was all the
scoring for a while. I was eventually
able to get to the break room and start watching the game. Hey, there were four Rockies in the lineup.
Cool. The Cleveland drum guy was
there. I could hear him. I was told that he was later escorted from the
facility for cultural appropriation. In
the fifth, Shane Bieber came in a
struck out the side for the AL. As a
First Peoples player, he got a big ovation from his home town crowd. In the bottom, Jorge Polanco drove in a run to make it 2-0 AL.
In the sixth, I just want to use your love,
“Tonight!” They were playing walkup
music for all the batters. Yes, the
Cleveland crowd did it for Charlie
Blackmon and finished the verse!
That was awesome. Even better, he
homered, making it 2-1 and breaking his personal 0 for 8 streak in All-Star
Games. A mic’d up effervescent Francisco Lindor was charming as ever
in the field for the inning. He’s got a
career in broadcasting ahead of him someday.
In the seventh, a
double play brought in a run for the American League, 3-1. I left the break room to do some work. When I returned, I found it was now 4-1
AL. I missed Joey Gallo coming into the game as a pinch hitter. On his first pitch, he absolutely smashed a
laser into the right field stands. Good
gracious and God dang it! I would have
cheered the hell out of that live. I
only saw it later on the MLB website highlights.
Fox was running non-stop micro-commercials during every pause
in the action. It’s the wave of the
future. Don’t laugh NFL fans. Surely you’re aware of how much dead time
there is in the typical football game. I
can’t wait for the Max Headroom style
“blipverts” to start getting inserted into games. Wow, that is a Farscape Crieghton-esqe pop culture reference. Let me sit back and admire that one for a
moment.
In the eighth, the
NL loaded the bases with two outs.
There’s that Pete Alonso
again, the Home Run Derby
winner. He drove in two with a single
to make it 4-3. AL catcher James McCann ended the inning on an
acrobatic basket catch of a popup behind the plate. For the ninth, Aroldis Chapman came in to a chorus of boo’s. The Cleveland crowd still isn’t happy about
him pitching the Cubs to victory
over their First Peoples a couple of years ago in the World Series. He struck out
the side definitively to end it. 4-3 AL final. The game played out in an unbelievable two
hours and 48 minutes. Was that the
quickest game of the season?
I saw Hunter Pence in uniform after the game,
but I don’t think cleared to play. That
was too bad. Cleveland Rocks played over the PA as the
field was set up for the MVP
presentation. The Fox booth guys seemed
to want to give it to Gallo. Brantley
was picked out for the postgame field interview as another possible
candidate. However, Shane Bieber got the glass bat and his choice of two pickups. The Cleveland crowd loved it at least. Rush
Limbaugh’s theme song played (Back to
Ohio by the Pretenders) along
with some other good music over the crowd’s exit. Okay MLB, you’ve changed my mind. Let’s do this again next year (but you’re on
probation).
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